u/Unfair-Cod-3306

My father was out of the picture before I was born, so I haven't experienced a parents' breakup in the traditional way. It was never something I had to get used to, I didn't know anything else. What about the rest of you?

Were you devastated by the divorce? If you were, are you still? Do any of you still wish your parents would get back together?

I think it's important to hear from adults who've been there. And if you think there's anything that could have been done to mitigate the damage of growing up in 2 households.

My mother had me as a teenager and my father was already out of the picture when I was born. My grandparents were divorced. They did almost everything separately. My grandfather hosted a separate birthday celebration for every one of his 5 kids and his grandkids. We did separate holiday celebrations with my grandfather and his wife, whom I considered my other grandmother. My mother said her parents didn't attend doctor's appointments together, that fell on whoever had their kids at the time.

The only shared events that I ever recall were weddings and graduations. Even graduations were just both of them attending the ceremony with their respective spouses, the graduation parties were done separately. Weddings never had drama. Everyone sat separately with their own spouse and didn't talk to each other, their kids took pictures with their parents separately. It was very simple.

It just feels like such a stark contrast to what's become common today. Everyone acts like "they have children together, so they're ALWAYS gonna be family." Uh, not in my experience. Not unless you specifically want to be. I grew up with people who were quite happy to move on with their lives and away from their former marriage. My aunts and uncles who divorced conducted themselves the same way. I don't know if my experience growing up wasn't typical or if it gave me unrealistic expectations. But I kind of miss that world, it felt much saner to me than all these people I see now who don't want to cut ties.​

I have joint legal custody with my son's father, but he doesn't take the initiative to do anything himself. He always contacts me with questions about school events, grades, teachers, which days school won't be in session. I have suggested he use his parent portal, to check the online school calendar of events, to call them with any questions he might have. Does this count as sharing information if I am directing him to resources to find these things out himself instead of asking me? Or do I have to personally answer all his questions? I'm not denying access, I would just rather he stop asking me and utilize the same resources I use.

A little over a decade ago, I got the last line of the Harry Potter series tattooed on my wrist. All was well. Since such things have now come to signify bigotry to the LGBT community, I am thinking that maybe I should alter it. But how? Should I laser it and get a cover up? Or add a rainbow to it? I would like opinions from anyone willing.

My husband is heavily tattooed and has a lot of matching tattoos with HCBM. He has plans to cover a few but some will stay. (One is an original design he came up with, one is a memorial tattoo.)

It bugs me. I never got a tribute tattoo to any of my exes, even the one who asked me to when we were together. I understand couples tattoos aren't uncommon and everyone has a past. This is just another example of how his past feels very in my face and he hasn't had to deal with mine to such a high degree at all. I don't like that they have so many shared tattoos.

Be honest. Would it bother you if your husband still had couples tattoos with his ex?

I am technically the custodial parent, with 55/45 physical time, but we share joint legal custody. So far, it's been a nightmare. The divorce decree states that we have to keep each other informed of any medical issues and appointments.

Their mother sends constant texts that don't need to be sent. I dealt with nonstop harassment and name calling from her for over a year and finally got a court order that states derogatory language can not be used. (The GAL recommended OFW, but the judge did not make that part of the court order.) So now she just sends multiple texts throughout the day to bother me. I am trying to keep communication to only what is necessary, but we do not agree on what is necessary. She sent me 7 separate texts today about her older daughter being sick. ("We're at the doctor's. I'm getting her tested. What should we do if the results are positive? The results were negative. The doctor said the kids can still come to my house, but do you want them to come?")

How much contact is necessary? Is it only major medical decisions or is it every last scraped knee and chapped lip? How do I stop this without her insisting to a judge that I don't communicate with her?

What do you guys do for health insurance? We are starting our own business soon and keeping my current job for health insurance isn't an option. I'm also trying to avoid going without, the risk is too high if anything catastrophic happens. Any ideas?

If it is not possible to attend a child's every medical appointment with a high-conflict co-parent, what can be done? Is it possible to speak with the doctor's office to request a phone call after every appointment or get a visit summary faxed to you? I have requested a call back from an appointment I was not able to attend and was told I may not hear from them for several days. I have legal access to the medical records, but I do not really know how to go about getting it, both now and in the future.