u/Unfair-Cod-3306

I am technically the custodial parent, with 55/45 physical time, but we share joint legal custody. So far, it's been a nightmare. The divorce decree states that we have to keep each other informed of any medical issues and appointments.

Their mother sends constant texts that don't need to be sent. I dealt with nonstop harassment and name calling from her for over a year and finally got a court order that states derogatory language can not be used. (The GAL recommended OFW, but the judge did not make that part of the court order.) So now she just sends multiple texts throughout the day to bother me. I am trying to keep communication to only what is necessary, but we do not agree on what is necessary. She sent me 7 separate texts today about her older daughter being sick. ("We're at the doctor's. I'm getting her tested. What should we do if the results are positive? The results were negative. The doctor said the kids can still come to my house, but do you want them to come?")

How much contact is necessary? Is it only major medical decisions or is it every last scraped knee and chapped lip? How do I stop this without her insisting to a judge that I don't communicate with her?

What do you guys do for health insurance? We are starting our own business soon and keeping my current job for health insurance isn't an option. I'm also trying to avoid going without, the risk is too high if anything catastrophic happens. Any ideas?

If it is not possible to attend a child's every medical appointment with a high-conflict co-parent, what can be done? Is it possible to speak with the doctor's office to request a phone call after every appointment or get a visit summary faxed to you? I have requested a call back from an appointment I was not able to attend and was told I may not hear from them for several days. I have legal access to the medical records, but I do not really know how to go about getting it, both now and in the future.