I'm 20M she's 20F... She just won't forget him man it's been 3 years and she brings her ex up every 3 days. She says shit like 'he wasn't bad" when I cuss that guy.
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I’m 20M and my girlfriend is 20F. Problem ye hai ki woh apne toxic ex (first love) ko completely bhool nahi pa rahi lagti. 3 saal ho gaye breakup ko but har 3-4 din mein kisi na kisi context mein uska naam aa hi jata hai. Kabhi kabhi jab main us bande ko bura bolta hu toh woh bol deti hai “itna bhi bura nahi tha”, aur honestly wahi baat mere dimag mein reh jaati hai.
Starting mein usne bola tha ki usse mere liye utni attachment nahi thi. Relationship ke first month mein indirectly mujhe us ex se compare bhi kiya tha, although baad mein deny kar diya. Phir around 5th month uski feelings aur attachment kaafi better hui aur usne proper commitment diya.
Uske kaafi exes reh chuke hain, around 9 according to her. Woh bolti hai ki mostly short relationships the, jaldi khatam ho gaye ya manipulation tha.
Main honestly kaafi confused aur insecure feel kar raha hu. Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha ki woh genuinely move on kar chuki hai ya nahi.
Jab maine directly poocha ki woh baar baar uska naam kyun leti hai toh usne bola:
“Uske liye mere paas feelings ya soft corner nahi hai. Bas kuch arguments aur buri memories yaad aa jati hain toh bura feel hota hai. Mujhe regret hai ki woh meri life mein aaya hi kyun. Parents aur old environment ki wajah se bhi uski yaad aa jati hai. Papa abhi bhi kabhi phone check karte hain kyunki unhe lagta hai main usse baat karti hu. Mere aas paas ke log bhi uska naam lete rehte the, isliye trigger ho jata hai. Main usse pyar nahi karti.”
Ab mujhe samajh nahi aa raha ki is situation ko mature way mein kaise handle karun. Main overthink bhi nahi karna chahta but baar baar ex ka topic aane se mentally affect ho raha hu.
Relationship continue karte hue mujhe kya approach rakhni chahiye? Kaise samjhu ki woh actually move on kar chuki hai ya nahi?