u/UnhealthyTractor_28

I know I know, this is actualasexuals, not questioning, but I don’t want to ask this question in a subreddit where everyone has 20 micro-labels.

I’m a guy in my early 20s, been single the whole time and honestly I don’t know how I feel about it.
I kinda never had an opportunity because the high school I went to was like 95% male, same for my current university, I don’t think I’m super ugly, but I’m definitely not top 5% attractive, also a lot of girls in very men-dominated spaces are… specific, you know, they gotta be strong to survive, so there are very little opportunities.

But whatever, I never had the opportunity to date, and I don’t really think I want it. I want someone to share living costs with lol but ideally that would be post-marriage dry spell, not young adult dating.

I don’t really know what romantic attraction is, I don’t get wanting to date, it all feels like if it’s a game, a script; giving flowers, going to restaurants… I’m not interested in that, and I think I never had a crush (I don’t understand the concept tbh).

I had a feeling like caring for someone, but that was brief and not “I want to give you flowers and kiss you and watch movies with you and cuddle” or whatever, more like “Come with me, I will protect you”. (sounds weird but I don’t know how to word it)

And on sexual level… I’m sure my libido isn’t 0, but >!I’ve tried porn a few times and it never worked on me, the actors just aren’t attractive and it’s super unrealistic and I don’t really care for it, and I’ve never understand “porn addiction”. Like, I’ve searched for various types of stuff, but I didn’t feel anything and!< >!definitely!< >!no pleasure.!<

Up until now it may sound like I’m 100% aroace and what am i even doing writing this, yeah but I’m not sure, >!porn doesn’t work on me!<, but real people sort of do? I don’t know what allosexuals are supposed to feel really, but it’s like, I see a situation and there’s a very very slim chance I might “like it”, but it’s not like I actually want to have sex with that person, I would freeze after undressing.
I don’t know if that counts as allo for you.

I don’t even know what it will change, irl I have to say I’m straight anyway, because people assume “not straight->gay” where I live, and I don’t want to deal with homophobia (well because I’m not even gay, why should I?) or explaining. Nothing against gays, but I don’t want them to be attracted to me and try to act on it either. Saying I’m straight is waaay easier, and kinda true? I don’t know.

Also, to above, I can’t stand it when girls are attracted to me, tho up until now there were like 2-3 cases, and they all (both?) were younger than me and sorry but I just internally despise this type of teenage girls, they just tick something in me I can’t stand them.
But I also know I wouldn’t want to be attractive to men so I don’t know if that’s equal or I just didn’t experience normal girls being attracted to me so I can’t say.

Last thing I can think of, I hate when they add sex scenes to non-porn movies/series for absolutely no reason, yes I get it, when they kiss passionately in a room alone they’re gonna do it, there’s no need to show more…

tl;dr I’m 0% alloromantic and either asexual or haven’t met the right person yet.

sorry if some phrases are weird, english isn’t my native language and I’m writing this at 2am

Let’s say childhood -> under 15

I don’t remember my childhood. I’m not like super traumatized or anything, but I swear, I could tell you ALL my memories in 2 hours.
Is this normal? I kinda subconsciously throw them away. They sometimes come back out of the sudden but that’s rare, it happened like 3 times in recent years.

Profile is completely unavailable like if I was blocked but others can see it, he is gone from my friends list.
I can send messages but it’s likely they aren’t being delivered. When I click call I get “unavailable to join at this time”.
We have no other common friends yet so I won’t know what’s happening until he opens facebook and accepts others friends request. This kinda shitty situation because we were supposed to meet yesterday but facebook suddenly cut out communication…
Man I hate how messenger is *the* app everyone uses…
edit: forgot to say, mobile app and browser behave exactly the same

Haven't read manga, haven't heard spoilers. Sorry this is so long.
Seasons 1-3 were really great, they were unpredictable in a positive way, I liked that I didn't know where it was all going, finally something different. I watched them all in 4 days.

A few weaker/weird moments (early uprising arc/season 3 part 1, battle of Trost after Eren turns into titan to protect Armin and Mikasa) taught me that even if it's weird and I don't know what's going on, it's gonna get really good soon.
Until they got to the basement...
Well yeah, it was obvious there was some civilization outside the walls, it was hinted before, and that Reiner, Berthold and Annie came from there and were brainwashed.

I liked the flashback, but I wouldn't imagine that's how Eren wants to solve Marlyeans hating them...

Time travel is very rarely done well, and AOT isn't that case, I didn't think after 3 normal seasons (except for Eren Kruger mentioning Mikasa and Armin, but that was minor) we were gonna go down this road...

But going back to start of season 4/Marley arc, it feels like Eren wasn't the protagonist anymore, and I don't know what's the point, he was never perfect and stable, but come on... GENOCIDE??? Then every other important character changing sides a few times
it's not even "mystery" anymore, it doesn't make sense, or them being completely forgotten.
And the whole Ymir founder thing??? really? she went into a tree, fell down a hole into an underground lake and a magical worm-god gave her powers??? WTF??? That's the mystery??? It's not even explained. And the whole paths dimension where time doesn't flow and there's sand everywhere and she's making titans from sand???

Eren didn't have free will is bullshit, he did before Marley arc, he wasn't "just an idiot" but was shown making decisions, it was implied he actually had a choice. He wouldn't choose to kill 80% of world population including many paradis island people, if people fear you're devils and will kill them then doing exactly this doesn't fix the issue, and he wouldn't order Dina to eat his mother, that's fucking pointless.

Well they were *some* moments and characters from season 4 that I liked, but you know, for me everything before marley arc was very close to 10/10, so I kept watching thinking "Eren is gonna be a normal protagonist again soon" and nope he didn't.

Also about time travel, no Eren, you haven't "tried it many times" it only happened once, even if you're an idiot times is linear.

At the beggining of season 4 I thought Falco can be convinced to be on Paradis island's side, and he will convince Gabi, and idk, something normal will happen like they will convince all the Eldians to be restoriationists and rebel, they will sit at a round table(intentional reference) and talk to Marlyeans about some plan idk.
And even going down the PATHS road, why didn't Eren ask Ymir to remove titan powers right away??? Why kill 80% of population??? Also why Ymir wanted this?

And what's with the credit scene, no titan powers means some random kid will get them because parasite-god said so??? Why did it just dissapear and was never explained...

tl;dr I loved everything prior to Marley arc/season 4 and hated everything later. If you're ever an author, please don't ruin a great story with time travel/predetermination and lack of free will.

english isn't my first language and it's nearly 2 am when I'm writing this