u/Unlucky-Lettuce4387

My husband and I have a family member who just lost their 9 month infant in a horrific car accident. This is such a terrible loss for a family that's already been through so much. We live out of state but wish we could be there as they navigate this loss. It is also difficult because we are expecting our daughter to be born right around when their baby would have turned one. Prior to this loss they had given us so many hand me downs (enough to where we didn't need to buy any clothes for all those sizes). Since this accident we have been thinking that our daughter being born will be a trigger for their grief but we also are afraid seeing photos of our daughter wearing those clothes will be too hard for them. I don't want to overstep but I also don't want to give them an additional burden/task to complete. Since we have a majority of their premie/newborn/0-3month clothes I was thinking about having a birthweight animal made for them out of a few items that I know they loved. Then I was thinking to protect them from seeing photos of our daughter in her clothes I was thinking we would opt to not use them. Perhaps pack them up and give them to a family member that lives nearby in case they wanted to take these items (along with the bigger sizes she had already packed away planning to give to us and the current sizes) in case they wanted to make a quilt or something else? It seems trivial to be worried about clothes but honestly from out of state I feel like there isn't much for us to do to help and maybe this will minimize their pain?

For those of you that have had infant loss how would you feel about clothing you had given away would you want it back? Would you want a keepsake? Would you want to forget it existed? Would you want to see photos of family in your deceased child's clothes?

I only know loss from miscarriages (8-12weeks) so I only kept one thing from each loss and donated the rest to be out of sight. Infant loss where they knew and loved the baby outside of the womb and hearing her say mama and dada is a type of loss I can't even begin to imagine so I appreciate any advice on supporting our family especially from afar.

TW: LC and pregnancy

Have you been referred to MFM for pregnancies after loss?

I have one LC from my first pregnancy that was uncomplicated up until the end in which I was induced due to hypertension and had post partum pre eclampsia. I then had three pregnancy losses - two blighted ovums and a mmc due to turners. I did almost all of my rpl testing through my ob who was so supportive in testing everything I asked. She referred me to a generic counselor for karotyping but that all came back normal other than that I hadn't seen any other doctors or specialists. I am now pregnant again and have stuck with my normal ob throughout the pregnancy. She never referred me to mfm through the first trimester however due to an incorrect measurement on my anatomy scan I was referred at 19 weeks. I saw the mfm and they confirmed baby is measuring perfectly normal but they are keeping me as a patient (along with my normal ob) due to my rpl and history of pre eclampsia and small birth weight of my first child. It just feels weird that I wasn't referred at the beginning as the reasons they are keeping me as a patient have been known since the beginning. Everyone I know that went to mfm for pregnancies after loss "graduated" after the first trimester and stopped going. Anyone else have something similar?

I became a stay at home mom within the last year and have a two year and am currently pregnant. I am just wondering what other stay at home moms do regarding gifts for their spouse. My husband's birthday is approaching and this will be the first year I don't bring in my own income and spending money from our joint account for gift seems silly. We were never extravagant gifts givers previously but i liked getting something thoughtful so he feels appreciated on his birthday. Also the big belly I'm sporting doesn't really have me feeling the most seductive otherwise I'd whip out some lingerie that I hadn't put on for awhile but it would look a bit silly now and likely rip and not from him lol.

Looking for name options for a sibling to Conrad. Loved the name Conrad because it's a name that is easily recognizable, has only one spelling that is easy to spell, and there wouldn't be many other kids with the name (pre TSITP blow up). Ideally I'd like our baby girls name to meet these same characteristics. When we were pregnant with our first we had wanted to use Lillian for a girl named after my husband's great grandma. I still like the name but worry it's too popular and wonder if there is confusion to anyone on spelling with the double ll in the middle vs a single l if lily was a nickname. Thoughts on Lillian or any other names to consider? If we don't use it as a first name we probably need to use it as a middle name as my husband essentially called dibs on the name with his siblings years ago.

Edit: my Dr is amazing and logged on this morning to get me my results!!! Baby is testing negative / low risk across the board and I had a high fetal fraction for 9w3d so we are confident with the results!

I had my blood drawn for materniT21plus + ess +sca on Monday and I've been waiting for results. Today I got a text from LabCorp to verify myself and watch a video about what NIPT is. When I log into LabCorp I see the test and it says it upcoming and will be available to view Tuesday but it's already been sent to my Dr. I have nothing in MyChart and typically my test results for everything else comes straight through labcorp without review. I previously had this test for a prior pregnancy in which the screening was clear all negative and it showed up in MyChart in 3 days and I didn't have any of this other stuff. After three losses one confirmed to be chromosomal I am freaking out. Does this mean the screening is positive for something? I can't imagine waiting until monday

On pregnancies after loss what NIPT test did you get done? If my next ultrasound goes well my next hurdle is getting the NIPT blood work done. My doctor does the maternT21 brand of testing through labcorp. During my one successful pregnancy I had the maternT21+ test done and it was normal. My three losses did not progress far enough to get to do nipt testing so it's been awhile since I looked at the test options. However, now I am looking and there are a number of different options for maternT21 + ess +sca and materniT genome. My last miscarriage was due to chromosomal issues (turners) which wouldn't have been caught on the materniT21 plus core test so I want to make sure I get comprehensive nipt testing given previous chromosomal loss. Anyone have normal NIPT testing that's resulted in a miscarriage that was later tested and revealed a chromosomal abnormality? Has anyone done the materniT21 genome testing?