u/Unusual_Dare4113

Partner had an emotional affair with a colleague at work.. Would love to know any success stories to see if we can get past this or if it’s just beating a dead horse.

Context - been together 6 years, have a 1 yo. Affair was only emotional, they never met in person (large company) and tested for a month. He says he “enjoyed getting to know her” but that was it and never intended on meeting. I found the messages, the affair ended.

Further edit - we have a couples therapy session booked end of the month.

Ty in advance 👋

Partner had an emotional affair with a colleague at work.. Would love to know any success stories to see if we can get past this or if it’s just beating a dead horse.

Context - been together 6 years, have a 1 yo. Affair was only emotional, they never met in person (large company) and tested for a month. He says he “enjoyed getting to know her” but that was it and never intended on meeting. I found the messages, the affair ended.

Further edit - we have a couples therapy session booked end of the month.

Ty in advance 👋

Context - we’ve been together 6 years, have a house with a mortgage, a dog and most importantly… an 11 month old baby (the most precious one, of course).

I feel numb to this when typing - I never ever thought I’d be doing this to be honest. Our relationship has had its struggles, we’ve had miscarriages and difficulties with pregnancy, postpartum and just life in general. It seemed we hit a blip the last month or so, and it got to the point where we could not communicate properly, and I have mentioned 3 times maybe ending things for the sake of the baby as I don’t want them to grow up around parents arguing / not in love, as that’s what I had. We always agreed we wouldn’t be like my parents.

Anyway, we got back on track and I started working hard at salvaging things. I apologised for my part, which he would say is a heavy part - and I would take it all on my shoulders. I had a gut feeling, maybe, an instinct something else was happening as he became distant. I asked, and he said I was being silly. Then last night as he was soothing our baby, something came over to me to check WhatsApp.

There it was. Message after message, talking all day and into the night - whilst he was laying in bed with me - about how he likes her, cares for her, and how he doesn’t think we’d be together if it weren’t for the baby. How their first date would be, how they picture it. How when he leaves us he’ll live back at his parents and would she be OK with that. Saying I’ll always be in his life, because of the baby and if she was OK with that. She was aware of his situation.

I obviously kicked him out. He said, he didn’t mean it, he wasn’t thinking and he just liked the attention. He liked getting to know her, says he doesn’t have feelings but he is confused. Says he wants to be with me, with us, at home. Crying, apologising, saying he will sort his shit out. I’m reluctant to believe it, but some part of me feels there is a bit of hope. We are a family, nothing physical happened (although I feel that would be better?), and maybe with time we can move past this.

I want time away from him, he is going to his parents, he said he has blocked her on everything, won’t speak to her unless it’s to do with work (it’s a big organisation). Would I be stupid to pursue this further? Would I be stupid to maybe take him back? I’m unsure at present if I would, as I need time and space, but would appreciate any help / advice / any stories that’ll make me see any sense.

Please be kind, I can’t articulate things very well and I am very sensitive right now.