u/Used-Ad-3435

I'm a beginner to coding, I've no experience in that and I'm starting with python and my college has already moved on to sql and c++.

I don't understand anything in class and yesterday I just left my class crying after the class got over (ofc nobody saw me)

I really wanna improve and learn like for real but As I see so much information on the internet I get confused whether from where to start bcz I don't wanna waste my time at all.

Plz help 🙏🙏😭

Honestly I'm just so much done with this irresistible pain, I just want to have Alzheimer at this point to forget him, somedays I'll be doing so good and he'll just simply cross my mind and I'll smile that's it but then somedays will be like I'm constantly thinking about him only the whole freaking day.

Even tho I'm busy, it's like he's still there up in my brain sitting like a landlord who refused to give me my flat even tho I've paid the money!

And bcz of this multitasking, even tho I'm good at this, I told my mum to check my heartbeat and it was literally like my heart is just missing him too much that now it's jumping outta my body with its full potential that it can blast at any point.

I mean Sir plz lemme concentrate on my studies, How much busy am I supposed to be????? At this pointtttt. This another day someone wrote in this sub that it's like we're not allowed to let them go. Brooooo I kid you not it's so freakin true😤😭😭😭😞😭😭

P.S: I've goals to fulfill in this life, I can't just stay like this. Even tho I'm better then before but I just want to eradicate this completely now. Bcz I think he might not be missing me, even tho I still love him, and will continue to do so just one day wanna move to Japan so that he doesn't have to cross paths with me even mistakenly in the same country:)

I can't explain how much relatability I've found in this sub, when it comes to pain, the things we all are collectively going on after that emotional traumatic experience (the discards) and I've personally interacted with people here too, we all are just in diff forms dealing with the same issue.

But Not just this time but I've left this subreddit before also bcz the more i stay here and see people talking about their pain, even tho I empathize with their pain as I've gone through the same thing but it gets exhausted and it isn't helping me move on with peace.

Being here more my brain keeps reminding me that discard has became a permanent part of my life, which is! Yes it's true! But I have the power to transform the pain into purpose so I'm leaving this sub as being here I keep thinking about my pain, the discard, about him!

Rather than working through my pain.

It's time for permanent goodbye from here. So that I'm not resisting my mental peace also the more talking you do about your pain or discard, you're reopening the wound again and again.

I wish y'all all the best in this tough journey.

We all hold power to transform our pain.

We got this.

Toodles!