u/User37482992

I used to honestly think astrology was bullshit and just a fun thing but the more I look into it, the more I realise how eerily accurate it all is.
I am a Pisces sun, Scorpio moon, I’m not sure my rising but i recently found out I have an Aquarius north node and a Leo south node. This is all so accurate especially the Scorpio. I’ve always been a very emotional person and I’ve always cried over the smallest things. I like being alone unless it’s a select few people who I love intensely and other than that i am always in my own head and pretty much daydreamed my entire way though school and barely passed.
On the other hand my boyfriend is an Aries, which is so true for him he is quick to get angry but he’s also very hardworking, he works long hours as a builder and is saving to start his own buisness. He is a cancer moon and I just found out he’s Pisces north node and Virgo south node which I’m shocked to find out as he’s always said he acts more like a Virgo than a cancer before we knew what these nodes are.
Now the synastry here is amazing to me that his north node which is suposed to be some kind of lesson if I’m right is my sun sign Pisces, and without him even knowing astrology he said he feels like a Virgo and I found out it’s his south node which is something from your past life, i don’t know maybe I’m overthinking it like I think deep into things alot. I’m wondering how we both reach our node things, and what other people think about this dynamic is it a coincidence or can it be a good thing, I’m also wondering how you reach an Aquarius nn bc from my understanding it’s about toughening up when my other signs are both water signs and that’s damn near impossible for me lol, and I’m wondering why we have to reach this node thing when aren’t we the way we are for a reason why do we have to change?

So today I had a parcel delivered, I’ve opened it by mistake as I’ve recently moved and am expecting a lot of parcels and the lady didn’t say my name she just gave me to me, I realised I didn’t order it thought nothing of it and got in the shower, she came back about half an hour later just banging. I found this very rude and intimidating and I was currently naked in the bath so I ignored it. She then proceeded to try and bang my door down and shouted open this door right now bc I’m the type of person that will break in and put hands on you. I called the police and then she went, is there anyway you can choose for a specific mail person not to come anymore bc she was scaring me a lot I’m only just turned 18 and just left foster care and I feel scared living on my own anyways and she was making me not want to live in my own.

So I’ve been together w my bf for 2.5 years since we was 14 and 16 and now we are 18 and 19. We have even lived together at times. Last summer 2025 is where our relationship went downhill. Some of my friends were staying out late and drinking quite a bit more than the average teenager so I distanced myself from them bc my bf advised me too while my bf got his first job and moved in with a friend so we was busy and I was quite alone. I only saw him once a week for the day which was what I was allowed at the time and I would spent a lot of money on trains and taxis while he spent all his money on weed and going out to bars with this friend and looking back I shouldn’t have allowed this and it was so from but for context this is where it all went wrong. As I have no family and friends at this time I became more attached, and in September his phone broke so I gave him my old glitchy one and he said it’s only for texting as he can’t do anything else on it however I found porn on it and my 17 year old trauma bonded brain took this very personally. I know this was wrong but I then went through his emails and found he was on a dating website and my mental health went awful, we stayed together but I became the crazy gf and it was awful and I was genuinely questioning our relationship everyday until about a week ago he was at my flat and I caught him doing this in my flat. I got angry and thought I don’t deserve this and I haven’t even cried about the fact we have been broken up for 2 months I haven’t cried once. We have stayed friends. I have felt so much better all my skin has cleared up and I’m seeing my friends almost everyday and I’ve met a nice guy who I definitely won’t date but it’s nice to have some fun this summer, however my ex has now started going to the gym and doing extra shifts at work and giving me money and helping me and doing everything right now as soon as we are over and he’s been doing this since the breakup not just for a week thing and he says I am ruining my life by going out to drink with my friends and having sleepovers lots and make friends. This makes me feel guilty and I thought he has changed and we spoke about maybe meeting the next day to try again so I check his social media and he’s still watching and looking at piper Rochelle and shit so I feel rlly hurt but I know I’m not allowed too as we are not together but I’m confused why he’s putting me down and saying he’s changed I’m I’m doing so bad when he still has this porn addiction and so I’m confused why he says he will do anything for me back and he says he will stop doing that if we get back together but I don’t know if I should belive him. I know I said I feel better but what if he’s right and I’m ruining my life. Any advice how we can make this right bc I still have a lot of love for him and I feel like he’s the only one I can be myself around and he’s always been there for me when I need it most he comes over and takes care of me when I’m sick and even when we are not together he has given me some money but it feels like as soon as I’m over it he is ready to do everything right. How can I actually get this man to be honest with me bc nothing will get better until he stops lying you know.

I wish I had the guts to kill myself. Insomnia and anxiety and everything is so bad rn it’s torture. Does anyone genuinely know how you get the guts to do it and I don’t really need to hear generic answers telling me not to do this you never know what happens to someone you know.

So I’ve just broken up with my bf of 2 and a half years. I know it’s kinda wrong to keep turning to the internet about these kinda things but I’m genuinely hurting so bad. I’ve been with my bf 2 and a half years and he came into my life when I went into foster care and he had helped me through it so much and I’m forever grateful for that idk what I would’ve done without him hit I guess meeting him at such a vulnerable time so young isn’t helpful in the end. We were genuinely so in love but he didn’t make me aware of how he has grown up around criminal activity and the kinda things he finds normal. I didn’t realise this before as I only had him see me for the day once a week but in Feb I left care and get my own flat and that’s when the main issues started. There has been a couple of times where he has got in my face and I’ve pushed him off after he has refused to get out of my face/stop trying to hug me where he has hurt me. I let it go bc I know people get angry and do and say things they don’t mean. Recently he has been zoned out and when I try and talk to him it has turned into explosive anger. The first time in my flat me pinned me against the wall and said shut up or I will hurt you. I forgave him how silly of me. Yesterday he got angry again it’s pretty much a blur but it was awful I don’t remember what started it but he started telling me to give him all my money it he will call the police on my for something that happened ages ago where me and my friend was very very drunk and I took some money off her I know this is wrong but we was drunk and he was sober and he told me to do it. I know this was wrong but he keeps threatening me with it and idk what to do and so when he walked out I licked my door and he broke in and damaged 2 of my doors and said he hates me bc I don’t shave often enough and called me a whore and a slag and refused to leave and took my phone so I couldn’t call anyone and we went to bed and the next day he said he was sorry and called the police to “turn himself in” I heard the conversation but it seemed very short and they don’t come so I went on his phone and there was no 999 call and so I messaged him when he left and he finally admitted it and I broke up with him and I’m hurting so so bad I know he has had a very horrible upbringing by some awful people who do drugs and sell drugs and make fake calls and think this kinda thing is okay but I’ve left him for now and he said sorry but I’m genuinely not okay it’s not like I can help him unleearn this shit bc he Dosent let me and he cuts himself and punches things he even lifted his fist to punch me and then stopped idk what to do idk how to move on and stop worrying about him I just wanna make sure he hasn’t self harmed again but I can’t do that bc I have to choose me now but I don’t have a lot of people in my life I lost a lot of friends bc they take drugs and i was in care with no family and I dropped out of college when I got sick last year and he soon turned into my life and idk who to rebuild my life wish no family or even qualifications and having autism Dosent help I am down too one friend. This feels better venting for now but I need some people to help me by listening and being there as I can’t tell anyone else.does anyone else ever been in a relationship where it’s not server abuse but it’s definitely not right which makes you confused about everything?