u/Various_Ad4731

[supprimé]

So obviously we haven’t gotten any updates about Neo since he was arrested in January. I wonder where he is? Why he’s staying so quiet? What did he tell investigators? What did they found in his involvement?

So obviously we haven’t gotten any updates about Neo since he was arrested in January. I wonder where he is? Why he’s staying so quiet? What did he tell investigators? What did they found in his involvement?

First I wanna say I have a lot of respect and love for my mother in law. She sees the good in everything even the bad situations, she does everything to keep the family together and wants everyone to get along and be happy. Her daughter struggles mentally, she is an alcoholic, and she has stated to different people that she does not like me that she actually hates me and cannot stand to be around me, I guess she thought I wouldn’t hear about it? I’ve had multiple people tell me and my boy friend how she talks about me. I asked did I do something wrong or say something wrong? And everyone keeps telling me no that is just how she is, she has never liked any of her brother’s girlfriends. So to me it seems out of my control. When his sister is around she acts fake nice to me, but I know deep down she doesn’t like me. I’ve never confronted her about what she has said I just feel it is not worth it since she seems to have her mind made up, but apparently she also talks bad about everyone so idk? Anyways my mother in law invited me out to go to the bar with her for her birthday, at first it was just gonna be me and her, but then she tells me later that her daughter, the one who doesn’t like me is going to be coming, so I told her I didn’t feel comfortable going out with her daughter especially if we’re gonna be drinking. On new years I got drunk with her, and she said some nasty things about me and my race… I thought my mother in law would understand. She tells me “no no I promise my daughter doesn’t have a problem with you she just goes through things some times you should still come”… I told her it’s okay and that if it’s okay I would like to take her out just me and her for her birthday. I can tell she wasn’t happy. But what do I do? I can’t confront the sister because she is confrontational and my boyfriend said even if I asked her why she said those things she would deny it because that’s what she always does when someone calls her out for talking about them behind their back. And I have social anxiety. I just simply wanna be able to enjoy my MIL without the drama of the sister . Why would I wanna go out and drink with someone who does not like me? Anyways my MIL is obliviousthat her daughter doesn’t like me it’s like she won’t accept it. I don’t know what to do because now I feel like the bad guy. But I cannot will not be put in uncomfortable situations.

So I was on my break at work. Usually on my break I sit in my car. That’s the only time of day I actually get to be with myself in PEACE. On my break, I just need privacy and a moment to myself to relax my mind. This lady parks right next to me when there were definitely 50 other spots she could have parked at also I park in the back of the parking lot because my car has gotten hit before in the parking lot so I park away from everyone just to be safe. She decides to park right next to me while I’m trying to enjoy my peace, and stares right at me I saw it in the corner of my eye, looked and she’s staring at me. Why??? What goes through peoples minds? I don’t understand. I got so angry and parked even further away. Parking next to me okay maybe there was a reason for that. But staring at me too? Can I not get any privacy? Anyone else think it’s rude to just stare at someone like that. I understand everyone is different, grew up different, but it irks me when people can’t mind their business or let you be.

For the past 7 years. Limerence has taken over my life in different ways… it changed my whole perspective on people and life. I couldn’t see myself without him. I couldn’t imagine a life that would be happy if he wasn’t in it. I am so fed up with limerence with the constant thoughts. I heard something like we think around 70,000 thoughts per day or something like that? Could be wrong. Some days, more days than not he is 60,000 of those thoughts. Everywhere I go. Even my self image is about how he thinks of me. I dream of the version of me who wakes up, with a clear mind, the only thing on my agenda is my goal for the day, what I actually wanna spend my time doing, wearing whatever the hell I want without him in mind while getting dressed. Me going out to the store, the movies, the beach, etc without fixating on running into him. I imagine myself peaceful sitting on a beach, with nothing in mind but how beautiful the sky is, the feeling of the refreshing salty water on my skin, and the sound of birds flying freely. I have hope one day I will be free. I am finally starting to accept the truth, he will never be in my life, now I just wish my subconscious mind would catch on… just venting. I just wanna be free like those birds.

So I noticed recently I have been seeing my LO’s family in my Facebook and instagram friend suggestions. I haven’t looked at his page or any of his family members in months. I’ve been doing pretty good not looking and I have him blocked on everything. I know his family members by knowing him over the years and met a few of them. I haven’t spoke to him since October 2024 but we were off and on since 2018.. although I’ve done my fair share of stalking his socials since that time, I have been better at refraining over the past year. Just an odd coincidence… he’s still in my mind like crazy of course so seeing them makes it harder for me.. it’s like I can’t escape it. I see him everywhere when I try not to..

Right now I’m craving him so bad. To be next to him. Talking to him. Feeling his touch. Looking at his tattoos. Him telling me how beautiful I am like he always does. But it’s nothing more than a fantasy after 7 years fantasizing, yearning. He would do nothing but ghost me after talking no more than 3 weeks. Year after year I just wasn’t what he wanted… In a perfect world I am his and he is mine and nothing else. :( nothing but a fantasy unfortunately. I need help. He’s with someone else.

I recently just found out what limerence was. For years it controlled my life, and I thought I was crazy! I genuinely thought I was a psycho for being stuck on the same person who never and never will choose me for so long. For years he would come into my life, ghost me and I was stuck in a state of limerence just waiting for my turn again. I finally had enough in October 2024 and ended the relationship before he could ghost me again. Ever since I haven’t been able to actually cry or process the emotions in a way I needed to, to let go or come to some kind of closure with my pain and constant ruminations every day that take over my mind. I finally learned I have a real condition, limerence and I have saw my entire situation with my LO from a completely different perspective, it’s a real addiction, it doesn’t mean there is some secret soul connection or that we are meant to be. It was my already traumatized mind clinging to someone who made me feel something I could use to escape my real problems and life. Today I woke up the usual, thinking of him, but this time I just starting absolutely bawling my eyes out, I haven’t been able to actually cry for years when thinking of him or process the pain, I used to feel a sense of numbness but I think it’s because I couldn’t accept that he would never be mine. I’m now getting closer to accepting it for what it is and understanding it’s my problem that really doesn’t involve him being in my life’s it’s my own issue I have to work on myself. It feels so good to cry finally and release some of the pain that I have been holding in… I don’t know if it will help me truly heal or let him go but it feels good to release something… I’m finally understanding I’ve been in limerence my whole life, it’s the way I have learned and how I still love people… but it’s unhealthy and has ruined my life and made me a very insecure, paranoid, anti social person… so yeah crying helps. I’m just so happy I’m finally seeing this whole situation from a different perspective understanding I’m not crazy, I just need real professional help and so many unhealed wounds that I CAN work through to become better.

It’s so exhausting carrying this weight inside of having an LO… every day it’s non stop in your mind, what are they doing now? are they thinking of me? I wonder how they feel right now? All day then when I go out anywhere I fixate on the thought of running into them. It’s the one thing I cannot escape and it is absolutely draining. It’s like a prison for my mind and soul. I have become depressed because of it. Nothing and I mean nothing will ease this pain or stop these thoughts. Drinking kinda helps, but when I wake up the next morning it all starts over.
It’s a viscous cycle and a torment to the mind.
It feels like I didn’t even choose this, I want so badly to forget everything and move on with my life and have a clear mind so I can actually focus on what matters. I have spent so many years just stuck on him, while he moves on in life. I think this is one of the hardest mental things I have and am dealing with. It’s been 7 years, and I just wonder if it will ever end. I’ve gotten into relationships, but nothing seems to compare to what I had with him and he treated me terrible. I just feel like my limerence has taken over my life at this point and I can’t tell a single soul. So kudos to everyone stuck with this weight inside loving, yearning, caring so much for what we cannot have… the pain is so deep and so vile. 💔

I thought getting into a relationship with someone I was strongly attracted to would help me get over my limerence… and in the beginning it felt that way since it had been over a year since I last even spoke to my LO, and I even thought I loved my partner more than my LO at one point, until one day something reminded me of my LO, and it’s as if it all had came back. I have been with my current partner for a year with hopes that in time my thoughts and feelings for LO would fade. And I truly loveee my partner and he treats me way better than LO ever could.
It really sucks when you finally think you’ve moved on, you’ve met someone who is great and that you enjoy, but you know deep down it still doesn’t compare to what LO made you feel. :( I feel terrible for feeling this way I really do… I wish I could have those feelings for my current partner but it’s like nothing absolutely nothing will make it stop.

So, I am really going through it right now. I met my LO when I was in high school, we had a talking stage and I fell in love with him but he didn’t like me as much, and ended up ghosting me, but then it became a cycle for the past 7 years where he would come into my life, lead me on, and ghost me again. I finally left him the last time he came into my life because it was pointless trying to build a relationship with him knowing he was just gonna leave. That was almost 2 years ago. And at work of course I spend a lot of time thinking about him, out of nowhere one day a few weeks ago I see his family member had started working there and I was shook. At first I was thinking there’s no way, but sure enough it was them. This is a huge deal for me because now every time I see them it makes my limerence worse, especially since us 3 would hang out at lunch time when we were in school. How do I cope with this? It definitely makes my ruminating worse, and now so many what if’s. What if he comes to pick them up one day or something? What if they tell him they saw me? Even though I know those things probably won’t happen, it’s one little possibility and reminder of him that is driving me nuts and now I have another reason to ruminate at work. My stomach drops every time I see the family member because it’s a connection to him. Uhg any advice. They haven’t said anything to me and I for sure won’t say anything to them but it’s rough. Also such an odd coincidence because the town I went to school and live in is almost an hour away from my job. Every day now when I’m walking out of work I get this anxiety like what if he is in one of the cars in the parking lot and sees me? The anxiety is awful even though that’s probably not reality. My mind fixates on it now. Uhg

The only true thing that has helped me through life with the weight I carry of yearning for, ruminating, and missing my LO, but knowing I will never have a chance with them is by holding onto hope for the future.
At this point I just keep in mind even if it’s not true, “one day I will find someone who I love even more than him, that will make me happier and more fulfilled, I just have to be patient” and secondly, focusing on upgrading my life and trying my best to put the thought and energy I give to thinking of my LO and ruminating all the time, I try my best to shift that into upgrading my life, focusing on my big goals and challenging myself to achieve them.
I’m now working on becoming a better me and finding those parts in myself that I crave from them or giving myself what I thought they could give me and the thing I feel like I’m missing.
I think for me the biggest thing is I am not happy with my current situation and I’m not happy with myself. There’s an illusion that I held onto for so long that if I could just be with them everything would feel better, easier, but now I’m trying to convince myself that I am the only one who can give myself those things not him. Of course all the rumination is in the back of my mind but it helps to have hope that one this is temporary and also that my higher self that I’m working on becoming wouldn’t even tolerate the way he treated me so I am choosing myself over him no matter how bad my nagging heart yearns for him, I know the greater happiness is in elevating, and focusing on achieving goals that don’t have anything to do with him. Maybe this can help someone else, it certainly helps me.

I think the best feeling at Amazon that made me feel my hard work and pushing through, meeting my rates and maintaining good standing, no tot, etc payed off after 6 months being white badge, was when I got the blue badge conversion message.

Then I check the app and I received 10 hours PTO! It feels awesome having extra time to use if I really need it and will help me stack up more pto easier. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.