u/Various_Winner_1181

No, using a general “you” in a hypothetical isn’t saying “every body and anybody as they are”. It’s usually superseded by qualifiers that specify who the “you” would be.

Examples; “I mean you could rob a bank, if you had the right team.” “You could run a marathon, if you trained for it long enough, or if you already have amazing stamina.” “You would be able to pass your test, I did! Maybe you should’ve studied for it.”

I swear it’s elementary school English. How so many people weren’t even taught sentence structure and how words change depending on placement has me completely baffled. The United States school system is in shambles.

For context, the post I made was in the Crohn’s Disease subreddit.
This post was about how I don’t like that so many vegan content creators, and most recently Billie Eilish, seem to forget there are literal food disabilities when they cast their “good” and “bad” nets.
In the interview my friend sent me, Billie made the statement, “You can’t eat animals and say that you love them. You can’t do both.” I don’t think that’s a fair statement to make when I rely on animal products for nutrition because I have a literal disability processing raw and cooked plant foods. I could totally eat salsa, but the last time I did I ended up in the ER. I’m good for a pinch of greens on something, and sometimes I still have issues with that.

For more clarification I used to be vegan for the sake of losing weight (it was orthorexia in disguise) and CD isn’t why I stopped. Just because I had disordered eating doesn’t mean I wasn’t a part of vegan communities. I donated to charities both vegan owned and for animal welfare charities. I’m still on a list to adopt a beagle freed from animal testing. Every animal in my home is disabled and they were at risk of useless euthanasia, aside from my cat who was a sick stray that I brought in. I pray for the roadkill I see. I save tired bees every time I come across one. I’m planning a native pollinator garden. I’ve always loved animals since I was a small kid.
I left the communities because realized how mean we were being as a group, and transitioned from “vegan” to a “faker” as my former friends called me. I was still eating a plant based diet.

Apparently, vegans are still really fucking mean to this day. When I made the post, it was to basically say like “people forget us, and that hurts because now we’re catching strays”. Some people replied with the typical “got off the internet”, some agreed that it hurt because they used to be vegan or vegetarian and themselves feel betrayed (which is where I was coming from), some were vegans with CD who found a way to continue, some were vegans claiming the diet would cure CD. (It is important for you to know there is no cure for CD.)

I leave my phone and eventually come back to it, and there’s a message request calling me a murderer, saying I’m worthless, if I have to eat animals then I’m a waste of space, they hope CD kills me but they’d prefer my death be on their hands so I can “know how animals feel”, I’m irredeemable, and I’m evil, and I’m awful. I reported it to reddit and blocked the account.

Keto people aren’t this mean, carnivores aren’t this mean, vegetarians aren’t this mean, plant based people aren’t this mean, pescatarians (where I hang out now btw) aren’t this mean. I don’t know what it is about vegans that makes them so incredibly mean.

I used to be vegan. Unfortunately, due to the Crohn’s, I can barely even eat fruit and veg. I rely on animal products for a bulk of my nutrition now.

It hurts to hear that celebrities that you admire actually hate the thought of you because of a dietary restrictions. Not to mention, Billie has celiac. She should know that diets are personal health decisions and not a badge to wear to place you on a hierarchy.

Be vegan, I don’t care. Just don’t make me feel bad because I eat boiled chicken, eggs, and rice for most of my meals.

Edit to add; No, I’m not taking it personally. Relax. I admire the way she carried herself while getting famous as a teenager.
The part that’s upsetting is that people with platforms get to bash whoever they want, blindly, and get away with it. It further perpetuates stigma that we will all run into. I can’t be vegan, I’m sure there’s plenty of you who can’t either. We don’t deserve to have a section of the internet calling us bad people, or furthering that idea, because they can’t grasp that digestive conditions exist.

I’m very strong in the “perceived abandonment” realm; fantasies about things I don’t want come to me and then I ruminate on it while it destroys me. Somehow (knowing how bad it hurts to deal with) I’ve determined that when these abandonment scenarios pop up in my mind, it’s better to ignore them and they’ll go away. They don’t though, they just hide. I would bury my insecurities and my day-nightmares about being left behind, and they’d eventually blow up so big that when it comes out, it’s snowballed with so many other things that the only option is breaking up or not talking to that person. Thus the fantastic end of a relationship that could’ve been great! Over and over, for about a decade, this has happened to all of my relationships, romantic or otherwise.

The snowballing began as a child, because I had always been “too much” for my friends and family when I’d bring my near constant worries of not being good enough to them. I’m aware insecurity is annoying, unfortunately I needed help processing it and was left to sit and worry about it all instead.

My boyfriend and I have very different hobbies and interests, however we meet in the middle on political stances, the life we want, and a shared desire to grow with each other and make sure each other are happy. Today I was able to share with him that it worries me when he wants to show me something and I’m not as excited as he’d maybe like me to be. I added that other people would like those things and so it makes me look less ideal as a partner as a result, and that I was probably overthinking and that it’s stupid, but it was still hurting me.

As if it were breathing, he reassured me that it wasn’t stupid but that he has no intention of leaving me. He doesn’t mind if we have different interests, he likes offering incase I’m interested in trying things. Then he reiterated that he didn’t want to love anybody but me. I accepted his sentiment, but it made me kinda sad again. He reassured me so easily and I feel like I’ve spent my whole life waiting to have my feelings considered and to be loved that way. I know if I told him that I was still a little upset about it, I’m sure he’d do his best to comfort me.

I have been saying I’ve been having episodes of loose stools, and joint pain in my feet, hands, and back for months.

When I requested accommodation paperwork, an NA messaged me and said “Dr. is confused because you’re in remission by colonoscopy and MRe. She wants you to get a blood draw within 24 hours ahead of your next injection.”

Test came back; adalimumab level is 9 mcg, when I was at a level 12 mcg previously. Antibodies are still <10 though.

Is it still secondary non-response if there’s not a notable level of antibodies?

Hi, this is a weird one.
Since approximately 2021, I’ve had a benign ocular tumor inside my eyelid. It hides under my orbital bone when I open my eyes, and comes down when I close my eyes. I have Crohn’s and am on Humira (tumor necrosis factor blocker) and have been for a year.
The tumor has doubled in size over the year I’ve been on Humira.

Has anybody else had a benign tumor begin to grow while being on a TNF medication?
Will it stop growing? Am I going to have to have surgery?

Apparently, saying you should act in the defense of a child being harmed by an adult is “inciting violence”. Word, I guess we release all the pedos from the jails because Reddit deems it violence to stop them. Gross ass website.

I don’t really know what to do, I’ve been in a specialized personality disorder therapy (TFP) for four years now. Though it is recognized in diagnostic criteria that trauma is not necessary to have a personality disorder, I happen to have both and it is a treat. In fact the therapist I was working with and I came to the conclusion that the lack of emotional support/help processing what was happening through the traumatic events of my childhood could be a major player in the development of my personality disorder.

The base of my current issue is that somebody who hurt me when I was a teenager has decided to come back into my life like a flea infestation. Realizing this was going to be an issue, I brought it up to my therapist. He wanted to report the CSA that happened to me at the hands of this person, and that hurt me. I was asking for help processing it because I’d gone over 10 years pretending it didn’t happen and now the wound is fresh again and it felt almost violating in itself. I know that he was trying to help me, that’s just how demeaning the action felt to me. I was struggling to eat, stay focused at work, sleeping was difficult, I was having nausea and flashbacks. All stuff that I’ve gone years without. I really needed help, and I was put in a position of begging to be heard.
After some back and forth over email, and a week of missed sessions, I relented and was going to go back even if it was going to be an argument for me to be treated with respect; which I shouldn’t have to ask for, by the way. That should be a given.

We were supposed to meet again on Monday morning. Unfortunately, while spending the weekend with my boyfriend this past Saturday night, I had a nightmare in which the events from my past took place but this time it was my therapist instead of the man that initially SAed me. I stayed as distracted as I possibly could through my drive home and reminded myself that nightmares are not real. I am safe. He didn’t hurt me. He’s never touched me. I’ve spent years working with this man alone in a room and never once felt unsafe. Just repeating that all over and over again.

Sunday night, I laid in my bed and my stomach started turning and I realized I had to see him in the morning. The worst dread and impending doom washed over me and I panicked. I asked my boyfriend if it was even worth going. I wanted to know if he’d be disappointed in me; admittedly I wanted reassurance that I was making the right decision.

I didn’t go. Instead I wrote an email, thanking my therapist for the assistance over the years. Mentioning that I am proud of myself for the progress I’d made but that I reached a point in this round of trauma response that would make it impossible to sit alone in a room with him anymore, leaving out the details. I told him I wanted to move forward on stopping treatment. I wished him clients that wouldn’t be so fickle and hit send.

Then the panic hit me that I just quit therapy and I’m nowhere near remission from my personality disorder. I’ve been a wreck since, going between the memories of the nightmare and kicking myself for not just screaming from the rooftops that I need help. I need real help. I trapped myself, having to recover from everything by myself. Not while it’s calm, while it’s all still a freshly opened wound.

I did call the crisis line provided by the clinic I attend and that person assured me that I’m being fairly rational in pulling away when my emotions are this messed up, which also felt good even if it is embarrassing to give my full PPO and then cry on the phone to a stranger.

I technically still have a time slot for tomorrow but I’m so scared to be around him, I don’t really want to go. I sort of want to go just to ask the front desk if anybody in the building specializes in trauma and how I can see that person instead of my therapist.
It felt nice to write it out even if I don’t really expect anybody to know what to do.

It’s strange. A huge manifestation of my BPD is an inability to stand up for myself if it’d mean rocking the boat. I’m too afraid of losing things and people than to defend myself. However I’m going to stand up for myself, regardless of if it’ll leave me without treatment.

For months now, my therapist has been correcting me when I talk about how I feel. I’ll say I “feel like xyz” and he’d go “could it actually be ABC?” then until I agree, he keeps correcting me. I’m fairly certain that’s not how therapy works and glazing over obvious problems presented by your client isn’t the move.

He’s also decided my revocation of consent means nothing and he can tell whoever he wants about what’s happened to me as a kid. In turn I’ve had nightmares of him being the perpetrator and I genuinely cannot look at him anymore.

I’m quitting therapy, I’ll figure this shit out on my own. Even if he’s just going to scream at me that I’m “punishing myself in an attempt to punish other people” instead of the obvious fact of he makes me uncomfortable.

My boyfriend, who has seen me have some bad episodes, is even encouraging me to leave therapy because the stress of therapy is making me worse right now. Maybe, eventually, I’ll feel good enough to go again. I’m certainly not going back to the same facility.

They literally would be enslavers if they could be. Yet, the day to celebrate the last day people were enslaved in our country, they get to have off while the lower rung employees still have to work for unlivable wages. I’m not the only person that sees this, am I?

I’m in remission according to scopes and blood tests. My GI is therefore leaving me to flounder in pain, using the bathroom in excess. I’m not “better”. Not nearly as good as she’s expecting me to be. And my PCP said “your GI needs to change your medication then” and kicked me back over to my GI who’s standing by my treatment plan.

I have no clue what to do or where to go. What tests can be run, what options I have left. I’m lucky because I got to remission so fast. I’m unlucky because apparently I’m not sick on paper so any help I need now is just on me to figure out.

Hi, I’m not sure whether to put this in bpd reddit or another, trauma based, reddit. I’m putting it here because I see my therapist for BPD. (You don’t need trauma to have BPD, I just happen to have both.)

At my job, a man has been coming in almost everyday/every time I’m working. Which is normally so okay; I love my regulars because I love checking in with people.
This man, however, was somebody I trusted when I shouldn’t have. When we were both minors, he forced himself on me. I’ll spare you the details.
Now, over a decade later, seeing him is causing flares in my physical chronic illness to the point where thinking about it makes me too nauseated to eat and when I do eat, my stomach cramps intensely. I have already asked him to stop showing up when I’m working.
The hard part is that I told my therapist about this because it was making me so distraught. I needed help and I went where I thought I was safe.

Many states have laws regarding mandated reporting so when children are being abused, or could hurt themselves, adults can step in and shut it down. Typically once the child grows into an adult, there isn’t much that can be done so it’s not reportable after 18. This means childhood abuse victims can let go of what happened to them fully.
In the state I live, there is a clause that sexual abuse or assault on a minor does not have a statute of limitations. This seems like such a lovely and wonderful thing, to help victims of abuse get justice whenever they’re ready to talk about it no matter how old.

In my case, it means I not only had to work through sharing what happened with him. I now have the potential for conversations with police officers and a caseworker from CPS about what happened. This is something I have told my therapist would be a major trigger for me and that I felt I’d struggle to keep myself safe. I spent a lot of my childhood sat across from CPS workers, and have a firm opinion that they are not good people, nor do they actually care about kids. (Just a paycheck.)

My therapist called me late in the night after I’d confessed it to him, to tell me that he’d be reporting my traumatic event against my wishes. It feels so similar; ignoring my ability to say no, refusing my right to privacy, later on guilting me. Plainly, this has severely damaged my trust in him. When I told him that, he said “I wouldn’t be a trustworthy therapist if I didn’t report it.” Okay, but to who? Because that’s not how you keep my trust, that‘s how he keeps his job.

I would just get another therapist at the place I go to, but his supervisor also said he had to do it because of the state regulation. Which means they’ll all do that so I can never truly work through all of the various csa from my past without feeling like I’m reliving it over and over again with different strangers. We’ve also been working together for about 4 years, and it took this long to even be able to talk about it in the first place.

I don’t want to hear from him. I want him to leave me alone. I feel so defeated and I’ve been having more suicidal ideation since our phone call. He didn’t even ask if I could keep myself safe or say to grab a safety person before he told me. He didn’t ask if I was okay during the call. He didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that I started getting choked up and crying. In fact, he tried to gaslight me into still showing up for our next session by bringing up my self sabotage by calling it “punishing [myself] to punish other people”. As if me walking away from somebody who has left me feeling betrayed and hurt is at all a bad thing?

I don’t know what to do. I have to go back but the thought makes me want to die. I had to go to my boyfriend’s house to sleep in his bed for the night, because I struggled to on my own. Please help.
I can’t stay focused at work. I can’t stop crying.

I was diagnosed with Crohn’s last year, however I’ve always struggled to keep my teeth healthy. Since I was a child, I always had new cavities between cleanings that would have me getting fillings constantly. Eventually I had a mouth of silver crowns regardless of brushing.

I floss and brush twice a day and I scrape my tongue periodically (more, now, that I’m on a biologic), and still I get gum line abscesses. I’ve lost two teeth due to these abscesses, and I have a gut feeling I’m going to be one of the 65% of Crohn’s patients that need a partial or full denture.

I was wondering if anybody’s insurance covered an early teeth mold so that if I need dentures, they would still look like my own teeth. It sounds crazy, but I finally started liking the shape of my teeth after years of it being an insecurity (because of the constant dental work) and I don’t want to lose them to the illness that’s already made my life difficult.

Thanks!

How do you shake the feeling that something is deeply wrong with you and that you’re nothing but a burden and stressor for the person that you love?
How do you stop yourself from breaking up with them every time you remember that all you’re doing is hurting them? How do I help him and me?

I feel like I’m just the worst all the time and I don’t deserve him. No matter how many times he says he can handle my moods, I know that it wears people down. I’ve suggested time apart to refresh, and that’s not something he wants. He wants to take care of me and the thought is both everything I’ve ever wanted and makes me sick.

I know my denial is just going to hurt him the longer we’re together. I even told him that’s what’d happen and he said it’d hurt more to break up. When I told him I want to be able to rely on him to help me with day-to-day life, but that it’d take me a long time because it’s where my vulnerabilities lie; he said good things are worth the wait.

I slept for 12 hours, only getting up for two hours to make and eat dinner and use the bathroom. I’ve never felt more refreshed. Why is sleep considered something that needs to be on such a short timer? 8 hours clearly isn’t enough for some people.

I woke up early enough that I made a breakfast on my stove, did my makeup, stopped to refill my gas tank, and made it to work early. If I could sleep like this all the time, I would have such a productive life for myself. Unfortunately, to do that again, I’d have to sleep right when I clock out today. I also feel like I never need to sleep again, so I may have over done it and messed up my circadian rhythm. Oops.

I went yesterday, I had the sticker on my badge that signified needing extra assistance, think green sunflower, and they still would not let me use certain bathrooms even though they were marked on the map as available for use.

The chairs that they have for panels are also unbelievably uncomfortable if you have EIM-joint pain. No, you can’t get up and walk around, either. Your seat will be given away.

I sent them a message about this all. I’m not expecting to hear back, honestly. They already have my money, so why would they try to fix it now?

All-in-all I’m crossing off “conventions” from the list of activities I can still do. It’s such a bummer because I love conventions and fandom is usually such a welcoming environment.

I’m trying to be a more positive person because I have so much going on between my mental health, a long distance relationship, balancing work and housework and my mental health.

I befriended a stranger on a whim and we’ve talked for a couple months. At first it was great! We talked about music, and baking, and our pets. Then a light switch was flipped and now everything sucks, somebody should shoot her, her life is the worst (even though I’m chronically ill so I’m not the best person to complain to when it comes to unfair life circumstances), her cat got out, people at her job are rude. She only vents to me now. No “Hey! How are you?” Just straight to “I just got to work and it sucks already!”

I have no idea what could’ve caused this, I know it’s not my fault, but it’s got to stop. It is difficult to keep a positive attitude for myself, I can’t do it for everybody around me too. This also just isn’t friendship to me. You don’t dump all of your problems on somebody and call it friendship, that’s a therapist.

Anybody else on bios get swollen lymph nodes? Is this just an “Oops, I’m sick,” moment or do I have to call somebody? My neck is also super itchy where it’s swollen.

I’ve been checking for swelling, like a good noodle, but this is the first time I’ve found a lump in the near year I’ve been checking. I don’t know what to do, really. I do have a runny nose, but I’ve had sinus issues without node activity.

I am genuinely tired of teenagers online and in real life saying how they have BPD for “cool points” in the “Who’s more messed up?” game. It is exhausting to explain to ~16 year olds that BPD is not an excuse to treat people like crap, but that it’s draining for ourselves and our loved ones to have to cope with. It’s like they try to use the diagnosis that has given myself and others relief, and a path to move forward on, to pretend that they’re the main character. It’s sooo insulting. Clearly something is wrong, because they’re wishing that they had more attention sent their way from family, peers, and strangers online. They want to be special and important and cared for.

This disorder if not, “I’m snarky to people around me and they love me and stay because they know I’m sick.” This disorder is extremely difficult to be diagnosed with, and once you are it’s all stigmatization from everybody. Not to mention, it can take decades of intense therapy to reach remission. There is no cure. Nobody wants this.

Enough of being down on myself. I have a success; I’m not anemic anymore! 🥳🎊

I’m on a multi vitamin to pull me up out of anemia. I’m actually taking ProUcro which was designed for IBD. However the pills are kinda huge, solid half inch around, and genuinely difficult to swallow if the dysphagia is hitting. I also take a 50mcg d3, a gentle iron (45mg), a cleratin, and a 50mg zinc. The zinc is the second largest and it just barely makes it through on bad days for size references. I prefer to stay away from gummies, just because I have and will eat the whole thing as a sweet treat.

What do y’all take? Is it like a probiotic in that they’re all kind of the same? Is there a way anybody has found to mix vitamins into foods?