u/WarmComedian5205

I’m talking to a guy I like a lot, and I showed him the new lipstick I bought on chat. And he said wow I didn’t think you wore lipstick, now I feel like you’re a proper girl girl. And I said what was i before??😭😭and he said a girl but not a girly girl. And idk if I’m being dramatic but I’ve always felt insecure about how unfeminine and «pretending to be a girl» I am. Like a pig in lipstick kinda thing. And ouch it hurt

Hi, I’m a Pakistani Muslim born and raised in Europe, anyone with a kinda similar background wanna chat?

I just need some thoughts from other Muslim women because I feel like I’m losing my mind a little.

Ever since I was little, I never really wanted to get married. I never imagined myself with anyone. I’ve always been extremely independent and genuinely didn’t feel like I needed emotional support from other people. I never shared my feelings with my parents, friends, or anyone else, never really got much affection and never really showed it either. I kind of accepted that I might be alone forever and I was okay with that because my independence and solitude were always important to me and something I actually enjoyed.

Now I’ve met a Muslim man, and in many ways he feels “perfect” to me. He’s a good Muslim, comes from a similar family background, does a lot of charity work through the mosque, gives to charity, is patient, kind, caring, and we’ve fallen in love and want to get married. But now all these fears are coming up. He’s around 5 years older than me (I’m 22 and he’s 27), and I’m almost done with my bachelor’s degree and have applied for a master’s starting after summer.

Now I suddenly find myself questioning everything. Do I even want marriage? I’m scared of losing my independence, my freedom, and the version of myself that has always relied only on me. Then there’s motherhood. I know children are a blessing and motherhood is deeply valued, but it terrifies me. I’m scared of becoming restricted by motherhood or losing my identity outside of being someone’s wife or someone’s mother. I’ve always been ambitious, independent, hardworking, and I know this might sound selfish or wrong, but I’m scared of being reduced to just that. I also worry whether I would even be a good wife, a good Muslim, or a good mother one day. I worry about all the potential futures I might lose by choosing one path. I worry that I’m overthinking everything. I don’t know if these fears mean I’m not ready, or if they’re just normal fears that come with loving someone and facing a huge life change.

And I wonder if maybe it’s my own ego or selfishness that makes me hold onto my independence so tightly. Maybe part of me wants to feel important. I’ve always wanted to do something meaningful, leave some kind of mark on the world, become something bigger than myself. But then I question that too, why do I need to feel important? Is that sincere ambition, or is it just ego wanting to be satisfied? I don’t know😭😭This man genuinely feels like a blessing from Allah. I’ve never met anyone where conversation flows this easily. I’ve never been in love before. I’ve never wanted to be with someone this much, or wanted to give someone every part of me. I’ve never met anyone so deeply kind, patient, and good.

I have prayed istikhara several times. He has had dreams where we get married and have a family, but I don’t know if that’s a sign or simply a dream.
I guess what’s confusing me is that I’m having all these doubts and fears, but at the same time I’m also very aware of why I’m having them. I know some of them come from being independent my whole life, fear of losing control, fear of losing parts of myself, fear of making the wrong choice, and maybe even ego. But because I’m aware of all that, I don’t know what thoughts I’m actually supposed to listen to. Are these genuine concerns I should take seriously? Or are they just anxiety, fear of vulnerability, and fear of change etc? I feel like I have a hundred thoughts at once and I don’t know which ones to listen to and I’m going insane😭

I guess I just want to hear from other Muslim women, especially women who were very independent before marriage. Did you ever feel afraid of losing yourself? Did marriage or motherhood make you lose who you were, or did you become more of yourself? How did you know whether your fears were a warning or just fear of change? Just any type of advice please, and thanks💕🫶

I just need some thoughts from other Muslim women because I feel like I’m losing my mind a little.

Ever since I was little, I never really wanted to get married. I never imagined myself with anyone. I’ve always been extremely independent and genuinely didn’t feel like I needed emotional support from other people. I never shared my feelings with my parents, friends, or anyone else, never really got much affection and never really showed it either. I kind of accepted that I might be alone forever and I was okay with that because my independence and solitude were always important to me and something I actually enjoyed.

Now I’ve met a Muslim man, and in many ways he feels “perfect” to me. He’s a good Muslim, comes from a similar family background, does a lot of charity work through the mosque, gives to charity, is patient, kind, caring, and we’ve fallen in love and want to get married. But now all these fears are coming up. He’s around 5 years older than me (I’m 22 and he’s 27), and I’m almost done with my bachelor’s degree and have applied for a master’s starting after summer.

Now I suddenly find myself questioning everything. Do I even want marriage? I’m scared of losing my independence, my freedom, and the version of myself that has always relied only on me. Then there’s motherhood. I know children are a blessing and motherhood is deeply valued, but it terrifies me. I’m scared of becoming restricted by motherhood or losing my identity outside of being someone’s wife or someone’s mother. I’ve always been ambitious, independent, hardworking, and I know this might sound selfish or wrong, but I’m scared of being reduced to just that. I also worry whether I would even be a good wife, a good Muslim, or a good mother one day. I worry about all the potential futures I might lose by choosing one path. I worry that I’m overthinking everything. I don’t know if these fears mean I’m not ready, or if they’re just normal fears that come with loving someone and facing a huge life change.

And I wonder if maybe it’s my own ego or selfishness that makes me hold onto my independence so tightly. Maybe part of me wants to feel important. I’ve always wanted to do something meaningful, leave some kind of mark on the world, become something bigger than myself. But then I question that too, why do I need to feel important? Is that sincere ambition, or is it just ego wanting to be satisfied? I don’t know😭😭This man genuinely feels like a blessing from Allah. I’ve never met anyone where conversation flows this easily. I’ve never been in love before. I’ve never wanted to be with someone this much, or wanted to give someone every part of me. I’ve never met anyone so deeply kind, patient, and good.

I have prayed istikhara several times. He has had dreams where we get married and have a family, but I don’t know if that’s a sign or simply a dream.
I guess what’s confusing me is that I’m having all these doubts and fears, but at the same time I’m also very aware of why I’m having them. I know some of them come from being independent my whole life, fear of losing control, fear of losing parts of myself, fear of making the wrong choice, and maybe even ego. But because I’m aware of all that, I don’t know what thoughts I’m actually supposed to listen to. Are these genuine concerns I should take seriously? Or are they just anxiety, fear of vulnerability, and fear of change etc? I feel like I have a hundred thoughts at once and I don’t know which ones to listen to and I’m going insane😭

I guess I just want to hear from other Muslim women, especially women who were very independent before marriage. Did you ever feel afraid of losing yourself? Did marriage or motherhood make you lose who you were, or did you become more of yourself? How did you know whether your fears were a warning or just fear of change? Just any type of advice please, and thanks💕🫶

I have AGA and have been on 5% topical minoxidil + 50 mg spironolactone for 3 months. I had an initial shedding phase around 4 weeks in, which lasted about 3 weeks, then it improved.

Now in the last 1–2 weeks, shedding seems to have increased again, especially when brushing my hair. I’m not noticing huge amounts in the shower, but definitely more coming out while brushing compared to before.

The confusing part is my part looks denser and I think I have new growth/baby hairs. Has anyone experienced a second shedding phase around month 3 while also seeing improvement? Did it stop? 🥲