u/Which-Inspector5340

I’m 18yo for context, and I’m genuinely confused and in shock, it’s has all happened so suddenly.

I have been helping a lady from time to time at horse shows, who was really sweet and kind to me and took a chance on me with limited experience. We’ll call her Lauren.

I’m friends with a 19yo girl who we’ll call India who has been quite successful in the show circuit. Initially I just helped her at shows but now we’re genuine friends outside of horses.

She was previously working for a horse dealer, who we’ll call Dora (adult woman with a child btw) that took advantage of her financially, slandered her and abused her emotionally, you wouldn’t believe the stories. So India left that yard but it created a huge drama and hullabaloo. This was shortly before I met her. Dora is very prominent in the local showing community and does have a fair deal of influence although she seems to have slowed down and can’t find someone to hire to replace India as her reputation is damaged. This drama was all six months ago, by the way.

Once Lauren realised I was genuine friends with India (although she knew I was helping her beforehand), she started asking me loads of questions about what I was doing with my friend at shows, where I was going, and whether I had “plans” with her.

Then things escalated after a post on Facebook from India (showing I was there helping her at a recent county show), and suddenly I’m being told I can’t help Lauren anymore unless I stop associating with India. In fairness, she was good enough to explain to my face and was nice about it but it was a real shock. We had a mature conversation, I told her loyalty to my friends came first, and have ended things with Lauren on the most positive note possible I think, but still. The reasoning I’ve been given boils down to people talk, there are two camps right now and Lauren doesn’t want to be associated with someone linked to the other side in any way shape or form, including me just helping India at a few shows.

I’ve also been told I haven’t done anything wrong, but I still can’t be involved because of “perception.” Lauren suggested that people might even think I was bringing back information to India, I don’t understand what she thinks I could be bringing back? This is pony showing not international relations.

I’m not in any drama myself,
I’m always super careful to avoid it so I’m not sure how I’ve ended up here! I’m not involved in any dispute. I’m just trying to help at shows and ride nice horses.

The crazy thing is, Lauren doesn’t even like Dora the dealer. She’s told me horrific stories about how she covered the stable of a horse with sweet itch in electrical tape so it couldn’t scratch itself and ruin its mane.

I’m worried I don’t have the full picture but I’m not sure how to get the full picture without finding out the hard way so to speak. Like I have to back my moral principles first and that’s being loyal to my friends. I just don’t really know how to move forwards with this. I’m also now a bit apprehensive that people might be talking about me? I’m new to the circuit and I don’t really want anything spread. What do I do now? I’ve never dealt with anything like this before.

I’m 18yo for context because it’s adults picking on teenagers, and I’m genuinely confused and in shock, it’s has all happened so suddenly.

I have been helping a small home-produced showing setup at shows, run by a lady who was really sweet and kind to me and took a chance on me with limited experience. We’ll call her Lauren.

I’m friends with a 19yo girl who we’ll call India who has been quite successful in the show circuit. Initially I just helped her at shows but now we’re genuine friends outside of horses.

She was previously working for a dealer, who we’ll call Dora (adult woman with a child btw) that took advantage of her financially, slandered her and abused her emotionally, you wouldn’t believe the stories. So India left that yard but it created a huge drama and hullabaloo. This was shortly before I met her. Dora is very prominent in the local showing community and does have a fair deal of influence although it seems to be waning due to this drama.

Once Lauren realised I was genuine friends with India, she started asking me loads of questions about what I was doing with my friend at shows, where I was going, and whether I had “plans” with her.

Then things escalated after a post on Facebook from India (showing I was there helping her at a recent county show), and suddenly I’m being told I can’t help Lauren anymore unless I stop associating with India.In fairness, she was good enough to explain to my face and was nice about it but it was really unbelievable. We had a mature conversation, I told her loyalty to my friends came first and I would rather not show at all than abandon India especially now when she needs friends the most, and have ended things with Lauren on the most positive note possible I think, but still. The reasoning I’ve been given boils down to people talk, there are two camps right now and Lauren doesn’t want to be associated with someone linked to the other side in any way shape or form, including me just helping India at a few shows.

I’ve also been told I haven’t done anything wrong, but I still can’t be involved because of “perception.”
I’m not in any drama myself. I’m not involved in any dispute. I’m just trying to help at shows and ride pretty horses.

The crazy thing is, Lauren doesn’t even like Dora the dealer. She’s told me horrific stories about how she covered the stable of a horse with sweet itch in electrical tape so it couldn’t ruin its mane.

Is this actually normal in local showing / equestrian circles, or have I just ended up in a really toxic pocket of it? Because from where I’m standing it feels ridiculous. I’m not hurt personally because I went to a boarding school where I was bullied horridly, don’t like to get into it but the advantage of that I suppose is I have very, very thick skin.

I’m just venting I suppose but it’s just so hard for me to understand. I’m also now a bit apprehensive that people might be talking about me? I’m new to the circuit and I don’t really want anything spread.

I attended a 500yo boarding school in the UK from when I was 13-18. I was on an academic scholarship that allowed me to attend.

I received an exceptional education which I’m profoundly grateful for, but also experienced and witnessed terrible bullying towards myself and many others that went on for a good few years, as well as other culture shocks.

I initially struggled a lot, then in my final year of school came out of my shell a bit more and had overall a really enjoyable time, although never quite made my peace with some of the other girls in my boarding house. Looking back, it was as Charles Dickens said, the best of times and the worst of times!

AMA about boarding school and the related life, culture, and education. I’m open to most questions although I don’t like talking about politics on the internet.

Hi all! I’m currently brainstorming a registered name for a lovely sweet but sassy chestnut filly that has been called Ginny. However, we think Ginny is too short and “nicknamey” for her registered show name and we’d prefer to keep that more affectionately.

We don’t really want to use Ginevra as we feel that’s too Harry Potter, and I don’t like the show Ginny and Georgia so we’re not using Georgia either!

We want something longer and more formal but also rather unique because registered names have to be, no two horses can have the same exact name.

We’re putting a breeding prefix before it but it should work well with most names, I don’t want to put it out on the internet for privacy reasons.