u/Wise_Metal2721

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My SD (11) and SS (12) were talking and my SD said his full name, but changed the last name to their bio moms...

My heart sank.

Then my SS said "I like putting powder up my nose"

And I wanted to say "so does your mom, that's why I'm the wife", but I refrained.

I feel like I've always had to compete for attention, affection or time from them, but they get along with their older siblings just fine... It's never a problem with dad, either.. even though we just got full custody of both of them last year bc the bio mom was unfit and now she doesn't even contact them.. or ask about them..

But somehow I'm the bad person, I'm the problem.. when we pay for all of your stuff, take you to do things, buy things you ask for, but I get shit like this thrown in my face like I made bio mom leave or choose substances over her children..

I have done nothing but love and raise them as my own, but now I'm highly annoyed. They are going to their grandparents after next week and I'm happy about it. I'll finally feel like I have my husband back and we can actually do things..

I know most of their behavior is learned/taught do to bio mom (at least with my SD), BUT I'm not the one keeping them from her. She's doing it to herself.. and I'm not sorry about it..

I have a similar situation. My middle child has an absent father. He refuses to acknowledge his existence and he acts like he isn't his when they've PROVEN that he is with DNA results..

I do not contact my son's bio dad because of who he is as a person... And the fact that he told me if I ever put him on child support he would unalive me...

Now this is gonna sound CRAZY, bear with me... I have Bipolar 1 Disorder, PTSD and anxiety and I am always paranoid around them... Like they'll try to po*son my food or drinks or try to unalive me... It freaks me out idk why I feel like this and my husband will say "don't freak out, calm down", but obviously I haven't told him the paranoid part, because I'm scared he will leave...

So I don't wanna hear the excuses of "bio mom this" etc etc

I'm not trying to be rude or petty, I'm getting fed the hell up with this altogether. I love my husband. With all of my heart, but I need him to step in and tell them to knock it the hell off because I'm the one who's helping him raise them. She has NO rights or visitation...

Idk... Anyone experienced your stepkids saying or doing some outta pocket stuff?

I'm so tired and drained...

(I'm sure I've posted on here before, if I have, don't bring it up. Just focus on this, please)

It's made my mental health so bad I thought about checking myself into the hospital where I work at for a few weeks cause I can't handle it mentally anymore...

My SD (11) and SS (12) were talking and my SD said his full name, but changed the last name to their bio moms...

My heart sank.

Then my SS said "I like putting powder up my nose"

And I wanted to say "so does your mom, that's why I'm the wife", but I refrained.

I feel like I've always had to compete for attention, affection or time from them, but they get along with their older siblings just fine... It's never a problem with dad, either.. even though we just got full custody of both of them last year bc the bio mom was unfit and now she doesn't even contact them.. or ask about them..

But somehow I'm the bad person, I'm the problem.. when we pay for all of your stuff, take you to do things, buy things you ask for, but I get shit like this thrown in my face like I made bio mom leave or choose substances over her children..

I have done nothing but love and raise them as my own, but now I'm highly annoyed. They are going to their grandparents after next week and I'm happy about it. I'll finally feel like I have my husband back and we can actually do things..

I know most of their behavior is learned/taught do to bio mom (at least with my SD), BUT I'm not the one keeping them from her. She's doing it to herself.. and I'm not sorry about it..

I have a similar situation. My middle child has an absent father. He refuses to acknowledge his existence and he acts like he isn't his when they've PROVEN that he is with DNA results..

I do not contact my son's bio dad because of who he is as a person... And the fact that he told me if I ever put him on child support he would unalive me...

Now this is gonna sound CRAZY, bear with me... I have Bipolar 1 Disorder, PTSD and anxiety and I am always paranoid around them... Like they'll try to po*son my food or drinks or try to unalive me... It freaks me out idk why I feel like this and my husband will say "don't freak out, calm down", but obviously I haven't told him the paranoid part, because I'm scared he will leave...

So I don't wanna hear the excuses of "bio mom this" etc etc

I'm not trying to be rude or petty, I'm getting fed the hell up with this altogether. I love my husband. With all of my heart, but I need him to step in and tell them to knock it the hell off because I'm the one who's helping him raise them. She has NO rights or visitation...

Idk... Anyone experienced your stepkids saying or doing some outta pocket stuff?

I'm so tired and drained...

(I'm sure I've posted on here before, if I have, don't bring it up. Just focus on this, please)

It's made my mental health so bad I thought about checking myself into the hospital where I work at for a few weeks cause I can't handle it mentally anymore...

So for context, me and my husband have been married for 4 years, got married through the church 1 year ago... (Marriage convalidation)

Since then, our marriage has been okay up until recently.

We fight way more, I am way more insecure, intimacy has almost stopped..

He plays online video games and he has this specific friend that is literally moving up to where we are from out of state. He says "well she's your friend too and y'all can get out and do stuff"

But I just feel super uncomfortable..

He never opens up emotionally, he never lets me talk or vent without sighing, getting mad or telling me to basically shut up..

Now, I dress like a tomboy most of the time, but that's how I'm always comfortable..

It's very rare you see me "dress up", he stopped allowing me to buy contacts because I scratched my cornea.. I have to wear glasses that don't fit correctly and are probably an outdated prescription..

But he bought me some dresses, so I decided to wear them.. no big deal, whatever..

He sleeps the complete opposite way, is always real weird when I touch him, come up behind him, has started checking his phone more..

When I say he sleeps the opposite way, he literally is flipped upside down on the bed.

My head is at the top, his head is at my feet...

He won't ever tell me why he sleeps like this, just that it's more comfortable.. he doesn't cuddle me because his "body hurts" from a wreck he was in right before we met 4 years ago. He met me while he was walking with a cane..

(This is probably gonna be long, please bear with me)

He has two children with another woman, we have full custody of them. We have VEEY different parenting styles, he (can say no all he wants) is a gentle parent mostly. I believe in spanking. I believe in punishments and discipline..

Also, his kids are very disrespectful of me.. my step daughter who is 11 has the biggest freaking attitude.. and I'm low-key ready for them to go on vacation in about a month..

Him and my father do NOT get along. I understand why, but idk..

I told him last night "I wish I had the amount of family you do and I could actually talk to my family"

And he said "yeah its pretty great... At least you have extended family now"

Dude I meant MY FAMILY, my family is very dysfunctional..

I just feel so defeated and don't know what to do anymore...

Idk there is so much and I'm worried he could be doing something or having some kind of regrets.. help please??

So for context, me and my husband have been married for 4 years, got married through the church 1 year ago... (Marriage convalidation)

Since then, our marriage has been okay up until recently.

We fight way more, I am way more insecure, intimacy has almost stopped..

He plays online video games and he has this specific friend that is literally moving up to where we are from out of state. He says "well she's your friend too and y'all can get out and do stuff"

But I just feel super uncomfortable..

He never opens up emotionally, he never lets me talk or vent without sighing, getting mad or telling me to basically shut up..

Now, I dress like a tomboy most of the time, but that's how I'm always comfortable..

It's very rare you see me "dress up", he stopped allowing me to buy contacts because I scratched my cornea.. I have to wear glasses that don't fit correctly and are probably an outdated prescription..

But he bought me some dresses, so I decided to wear them.. no big deal, whatever..

He sleeps the complete opposite way, is always real weird when I touch him, come up behind him, has started checking his phone more..

When I say he sleeps the opposite way, he literally is flipped upside down on the bed.

My head is at the top, his head is at my feet...

He won't ever tell me why he sleeps like this, just that it's more comfortable.. he doesn't cuddle me because his "body hurts" from a wreck he was in right before we met 4 years ago. He met me while he was walking with a cane..

(This is probably gonna be long, please bear with me)

He has two children with another woman, we have full custody of them. We have VEEY different parenting styles, he (can say no all he wants) is a gentle parent mostly. I believe in spanking. I believe in punishments and discipline..

Also, his kids are very disrespectful of me.. my step daughter who is 11 has the biggest freaking attitude.. and I'm low-key ready for them to go on vacation in about a month..

Him and my father do NOT get along. I understand why, but idk..

I told him last night "I wish I had the amount of family you do and I could actually talk to my family"

And he said "yeah its pretty great... At least you have extended family now"

Dude I meant MY FAMILY, my family is very dysfunctional..

I just feel so defeated and don't know what to do anymore...

Idk there is so much and I'm worried he could be doing something or having some kind of regrets.. help please??

So I have two SKs (11 daughter) and (13 son)

There is no structure in our home..

They steal all our food, they backtalk, they steal from other people.

Have been on probation (both of them) but my SD is still on it for stealing over $500 worth of stuff out of a girls locker room...

She's always asking to use my phone and call her cousins or friends and I tell her "later" or "not right now" because I honestly don't want her on my phone at all and she is NOT ALLOWED to have one..

Until she's like 16 and me and my husband can trust her..

My parents literally HATE when they come to their house because they're so mean to my 8 year old bio son (who we are pretty sure is autistic) my husband hates my parents (especially my dad) and I get it...

But here's my problem, I low-key resent my 12 YO stepson because he's so fucking immature and it's annoying. He will leave clothes and shoes in the yard. He will say he "took a shower", but his clothes will be literally SOPPING WET in the hamper and it'll be like he filled a tub up full of water and just sat in it..

My 11 year old SD wets the bed (I get it, not her fault, but STILL) she REFUSES to take the meds the doctor put her on to help w it and he will put her soiled underwear and pants back in her drawer with her CLEAN clothes...

I'm so fkn sick of it for real.. their mom SUCKS too.. she never calls and she's an addict (pretty sure still in addiction) and had her bfs abuse my SD... abandoned my stepson at 4 and I'm expected to pick up ALL the pieces, put em back together and deal with them cussing at me, stealing from me, stealing from a cop, stealing from their dad and people at school.. they destroy my house and my parents house.. but my husband thinks they do absolutely NO WRONG.. he won't punish them the way they should be. He ignores problems until it becomes too late.. I'm so sick of this. I can't WAIT until they go to Texas for the rest of the summer...

Help? Idk what to do?

For context I've been married for 4 years, my hubby thinks I'm always wrong and I can't have an opinion on the stuff him or his baby mama do, but he can voice his opinion on LITERALLY everything about me and my life...

Now, I have a 13 year old daughter. I have joint custody with her dad and they live in a different state. I'm supposed to get her every summer and every holiday. We have been more than reasonable in letting her other side of the family have her earlier on my summer breaks (so they get cut short), having her on thanksgiving, bringing her back weeks earlier than what is scheduled on my court papers..

She texted and asked if she could spend half the summer with me and the other half down in her state bc she wants to see her friends, while I understand that part.. she will be 13 in June.. I RARELY see her.. and my husband keeps saying. "She's 13, she wants to see her friends, not watch her siblings or see her mom and dad all summer", her bio dad even stated she would be better off in my care because he isnt fit to be a dad... But I would have to go back to court to get more papers changed and stuff.

Can she legally make the decision to stay in Louisiana for half of my visitation?

My husband always says "it is what it is and our situations are different"

The ONLY reason our situations are different is bc he has full custody of my two step children bc their bio mom is a real piece of sh\*\*.. like refuses to stop doing illegal substances and get sober... I said "you e got cr\*\*k wh\*\*s who can keep their kids for 10 and 15 years, but the one who's been sober for 7 years straight gets punished and only gets holiday and summer visits?"

And he flew off the handle about how God does what he sees fit. So I have to help raise your two children while I long for mine? While I have to beg and plead to have mine? While two of their dads don't even want them? I'm so heartbroken feeling like I have to play mom to two children who don't even respect me at all and then having to hear their stupid ahh mom call me and act fake as hell and act like she cares... He always says stuff like "FCK her, don't answer" and then I'm like " hey babe, ____ wants to call the kids today" he will say " I don't care, let her if she wants"

My thought was if you went to court, filed for FULL CUSTODY and NO visitation, you wouldnt even want her contacting the kids.

There's a reason I say this. She has 2 open cases on her for ab\*se and stuff. Got a DUI with the youngest in the car AND my 11 year old step daughter has been messed with by either random men or her boyfriends who she left her with to go to illegal things..

(I'm sorry it's A LOT to read but I need help with multiple things...)

For context I've been married for 4 years, my hubby thinks I'm always wrong and I can't have an opinion on the stuff him or his baby mama do, but he can voice his opinion on LITERALLY everything about me and my life...

Now, I have a 13 year old daughter. I have joint custody with her dad and they live in a different state. I'm supposed to get her every summer and every holiday. We have been more than reasonable in letting her other side of the family have her earlier on my summer breaks (so they get cut short), having her on thanksgiving, bringing her back weeks earlier than what is scheduled on my court papers..

She texted and asked if she could spend half the summer with me and the other half down in her state bc she wants to see her friends, while I understand that part.. she will be 13 in June.. I RARELY see her.. and my husband keeps saying. "She's 13, she wants to see her friends, not watch her siblings or see her mom and dad all summer", her bio dad even stated she would be better off in my care because he isnt fit to be a dad... But I would have to go back to court to get more papers changed and stuff.

Can she legally make the decision to stay in Louisiana for half of my visitation?

My husband always says "it is what it is and our situations are different"

The ONLY reason our situations are different is bc he has full custody of my two step children bc their bio mom is a real piece of sh**.. like refuses to stop doing illegal substances and get sober... I said "you e got cr**k wh**s who can keep their kids for 10 and 15 years, but the one who's been sober for 7 years straight gets punished and only gets holiday and summer visits?"

And he flew off the handle about how God does what he sees fit. So I have to help raise your two children while I long for mine? While I have to beg and plead to have mine? While two of their dads don't even want them? I'm so heartbroken feeling like I have to play mom to two children who don't even respect me at all and then having to hear their stupid ahh mom call me and act fake as hell and act like she cares... He always says stuff like "FCK her, don't answer" and then I'm like " hey babe, ____ wants to call the kids today" he will say " I don't care, let her if she wants"

My thought was if you went to court, filed for FULL CUSTODY and NO visitation, you wouldnt even want her contacting the kids.

There's a reason I say this. She has 2 open cases on her for ab*se and stuff. Got a DUI with the youngest in the car AND my 11 year old step daughter has been messed with by either random men or her boyfriends who she left her with to go to illegal things..

(I'm sorry it's A LOT to read but I need help with multiple things...)