u/Witty_Corner_9894

I’m not sure if this belongs here, but I’ve been trying to process something that happened in a past dating situation/situationship, and I think I just need to vent a little. At first, this person made me feel really special. There was a lot of attention, affection, and intense interest very quickly. But after I got emotionally attached, things became hot and cold. Sometimes they acted like I mattered a lot, and other times they would pull away, ignore me, or make me feel like I was asking for too much.Whenever I felt hurt or confused, somehow the conversation would turn into me questioning myself. I started feeling like I was “too sensitive,” “too needy,” or overreacting, even though all I wanted was basic consistency and respect.Looking back, it feels like a cycle of love bombing, breadcrumbing, guilt-tripping, and making me doubt my own perception. I just know that the whole thing left me feeling used, confused, and emotionally drained.Has anyone else gone through something similar, where a dating situation made you question your own reality or self-worth? How did you start trusting your judgment again?

I’m not sure if this belongs here, but I’ve been trying to process something that happened in a past dating situation/situationship, and I think I just need to vent a little. At first, this person made me feel really special. There was a lot of attention, affection, and intense interest very quickly. But after I got emotionally attached, things became hot and cold. Sometimes they acted like I mattered a lot, and other times they would pull away, ignore me, or make me feel like I was asking for too much.Whenever I felt hurt or confused, somehow the conversation would turn into me questioning myself. I started feeling like I was “too sensitive,” “too needy,” or overreacting, even though all I wanted was basic consistency and respect.Looking back, it feels like a cycle of love bombing, breadcrumbing, guilt-tripping, and making me doubt my own perception. I just know that the whole thing left me feeling used, confused, and emotionally drained.Has anyone else gone through something similar, where a dating situation made you question your own reality or self-worth? How did you start trusting your judgment again?

I’m not sure if this belongs here, but I’ve been trying to process something that happened in a past dating situation/situationship, and I think I just need to vent a little.At first, this person made me feel really special. There was a lot of attention, affection, and intense interest very quickly. But after I got emotionally attached, things became hot and cold. Sometimes they acted like I mattered a lot, and other times they would pull away, ignore me, or make me feel like I was asking for too much.Whenever I felt hurt or confused, somehow the conversation would turn into me questioning myself. I started feeling like I was “too sensitive,” “too needy,” or overreacting, even though all I wanted was basic consistency and respect.Looking back, it feels like a cycle of love bombing, breadcrumbing, guilt-tripping, and making me doubt my own perception. In Chinese, people sometimes call this kind of dating manipulation “恋爱 PUA,” and that’s the closest way I can describe how it felt.I don’t want to diagnose them or claim I understand their intentions. I just know that the whole thing left me feeling used, confused, and emotionally drained.Has anyone else gone through something similar, where a dating situation made you question your own reality or self-worth? How did you start trusting your judgment again?

I keep telling myself this is too small to be upset about.I’m 29F, he’s 32M, together 18 months. Friday he texted, “I’m wiped. Going straight home after work. Don’t think I can see anyone tonight.”Around 11, I opened Instagram and saw a mutual’s story from a bar near his office. He was in the background with a beer.The next morning I asked why he said he was going home if he went out. He immediately said I was tracking him, acting like a cop, and that adults can change plans. I said changing plans is fine, but the text felt misleading.Then it turned into my anxiety, my “interrogation voice,” and me misunderstanding him. When I showed him the text, he laughed and said, “Cool, we’re doing receipts now?”I ended up apologizing. Again. Is this gaslighting, or am I blowing up one bar night?

31F, my ex is 36M. We broke up six weeks ago, but the lease has us in the apartment until my new place is ready next Friday. Seven more nights. I keep saying that like it changes anything.

Most of my stuff is in little piles by the hallway closet. I caught myself closing a cabinet with two hands so it would not click. That is where my brain is at.

Last night around 10, I was making tea in the kitchen and asked him not to use my work laptop anymore. He has used it twice since the breakup and left tabs open. It sounds tiny, I know. It is still my job laptop.

He looked straight at me and said, "I have never touched your laptop. You invent problems because you need attention."

I should have walked away. Of course I did not. I pulled up the text from last week where he wrote that he "just needed to check one thing" on it. I thought, okay, one fact. We can agree on one actual fact, right?

Nope.

Then I was weaponizing messages. Keeping a file. Acting like a prosecutor. Then I was unstable. Then he did this little nose laugh, like me having a boundary was embarrassing. The laptop disappeared from the argument and suddenly we were talking about my tone. For twenty minutes. I apologized for my tone. Again. I hate that I still want him to say, "Fine, I used it."

This is the part that makes me feel crazy. If I remember something, I am dramatic. If I show proof, I am calculating. If I cry, I am manipulating him. If I stay calm, I am cold. Gaslighting, DARVO, whatever, I am not trying to diagnose him. I just know I keep needing receipts for my own life.

Then this morning he made coffee. Same kitchen, completely different face. "Want some, sweetheart?" He said he hoped I would not only remember the bad parts of us. I had my work bag on and for two seconds I wanted that mug so badly. Just normal. Then I felt gross for wanting it. I know I am leaving.

At work I manage projects and speak clearly. At home I write arguments in my notes app because tomorrow he might say none of it happened, or that I said something worse. I listen for his footsteps before deciding if I can make dinner. My shoulders are always up.

My sister came Sunday to help pack two boxes from the hallway closet. He was out and I still whispered. She stopped taping and asked why I was talking like he was asleep in the next room. Then she said I sounded like I needed permission to exist in my own kitchen. I laughed, then cried.

How do you stop needing the admission? Especially when evidence becomes another reason you are "the problem"? I keep thinking one honest conversation would help me leave clean, but maybe that is the hook. How do I get through these last seven days without chasing a confession?

Please be gentle because I feel stupid writing this. I’m 30F, he’s 33M, and we’ve been doing the weird almost-dating thing for about four months. Texting daily, usually seeing each other once a week, a couple sleepovers, but if I ask what we are he says “casual” and gets weird.

Tuesday night he texted, “I can see this becoming something real,” then joked about “when we take that weekend trip to the coast.” I didn’t answer much because I was half asleep.

The next morning I asked, “What did you mean by something real?”

He immediately went cold. Said I was “making it intense,” “reading into one cute text,” and that I “always need reassurance.” I said I wasn’t inventing it, those were his words. Then he told me I was remembering the tone wrong and he was only being nice because I seemed anxious.

I scrolled up. It was literally right there. Still, somehow I ended up feeling embarrassed, like I had done something wrong by asking.

This has happened three or four times now. He says warm, boyfriend-ish things, I try to clarify later, and suddenly I’m needy or ruining the vibe. I’ve started screenshotting and writing little notes after conversations because I don’t trust my memory anymore, which makes me feel unhinged.

My friend says he wants girlfriend benefits with no accountability. I do have anxiety, so I’m trying to be fair and not blame everything on him.

Is this gaslighting, future faking, or am I spiraling?

I feel embarrassed writing this because it was never even official.

I was seeing this guy on and off for months. At first he was super intense — compliments, future talk, making me feel like there was something real there. But whenever I asked where we stood, he’d pull back and say I was overthinking or making things too heavy. Then when I tried to detach, he’d suddenly get warm again.

It messed with my head so badly that I started looking for reassurance everywhere. I asked friends to analyze his texts. Then I started paying online psychics, asking if he missed me, if he’d come back, if we’d end up together. When one answer made me anxious, I’d ask someone else until I got something that calmed me down.

Eventually I started asking AI the same things. I’d paste in messages and ask, “does this mean he likes me?” or “is this manipulative?” At some point I realized I wasn’t really looking for clarity anymore. I was just chasing relief.

That realization hit hard. The question had stopped being “is this good for me?” and became “am I good enough for him to pick me?”

I’m not trying to diagnose him. Maybe he’s just unavailable or confused. But the push-pull dynamic made me feel addicted to crumbs, and I hate how much of myself I lost in it.

Has anyone else gone through this kind of reassurance spiral? Psychics, tarot, AI, rereading texts, checking socials — anything just to feel okay for a few hours? How did you stop?