u/WoodenHuckleberry693

If you're someone who gets virtually no interest from women on dating apps, its insane to think you'll suddenly have more success because you meet those women at the bar, park, or sports league.. women on dating apps can filter for exactly what they want and have enough interested men to keep dates lined up for months.

You're not going to hang around a couple yoga classes or book club meetings and magically overcome a lack of attraction with your amazing personality and witty puns. Most women know within seconds whether they're interested enough to keep talking, just like men do.

Ive been fortunate enough to be blessed with good looks/genetics and I have 100s of women in queue on multiple apps.. ill be the first to admit my standards have gone way up to, im content being single and i know for a fact alot of women have the same attitude with dating. Even though i have 1000+ likes, I dont rely on the apps this days becuase meetings girls in person is more fun but its far more competive than online becuase the guys who go out to nightlife are more social and better looking. Online is easy mode compared to the nightlife scene where you are being compared to others in real time.

Its true many women dont use apps, but those women generally have robust social life with an influx of guys who can easily meet girls off the apps. Also all these women and most men are active on Instagram which functions as a dating app (bigger than all others combined).

Changing the venue doesn't fix a lack of attraction, It just changes where these guys will get rejected.

The same applies on the app, If youre not meeting the baseline standard (most guys dont), having a premium subscription where you get more visibility will just mean more left swipes on you, not more success.

The only real solution is outshine the competition, but if youre in a top city american city the bar is set higher than its ever been and supply of beauty is lower than its ever been (health crisis). I'm in the 'top tier' of dating male app users, and even then commitment feels like the bottleneck. Endless options have made ALL women and some men at the top incredibly hesitant to settle on anyone and that is the core issue.

The overwhelming majority of men on dating apps aren't swimming in matches. They have slightly awkward pics, scrawny/not in shape, and very average looking. The average guy is just that... average by definition and a quick scan of this forum shows what these guys look like and are dealing with. Most are getting very few matches, very few dates, and have limited romantic prospects overall and would gladly commit if they met someone they genuinely liked.

The image of men endlessly cycling through women, refusing to settle down, ghosting girl after girl describes a very tiny minority of highly desired men on the apps who have that "luxury" or ability, not the average guy. It's certainly possible that many average men would enjoy having casual relationships with multiple women if they could. The difference is that most don't have that level of demand or opportunity and they know their dating reality looks very different from that of the 5-10% percentage of men receiving the majority of attention on the apps who have that option.

Ladies, nearly all of you have literally THOUSANDS of likes sitting in your queue within 2-3 weeks of downloading Hinge, Bumble, or probably any other app. Are we really supposed to believe that nearly all of those men are emotionally unavailable, unwilling to commit, unattractive, or otherwise disqualified?

If a profile has 2,000 men who have expressed interest, it strains credibility to claim there aren't hundreds of men on your level among them.

At some point, the explanation shifts from "there are no good options" to the effects of abundance.

This isn't even a criticism, It's just human nature. Give someone 5 options and they'll likely choose one. Give them 5,000 options and suddenly every flaw becomes disqualifying because there's always another option one swipe away.

The same thing happens everywhere else in life. When options become effectively unlimited, standards rise and people become more selective. That's predictable human behavior.

So I'm very curious:

Do people genuinely believe the average woman's 2000+ like queue is 95%+ garbage?

Or does having thousands of available options inevitably make almost everyone seem replaceable, causing many otherwise viable partners to be overlooked?

The overwhelming majority of men on dating apps aren't swimming in matches. They have slightly awkward pics, scrawny/not in shape, and very average looking. The average guy is just that... average by definition. Most are getting very few matches, very few dates, and have limited romantic prospects overall. Many would gladly commit if they met someone they genuinely liked and im sure everyone agrees with this paragraph.

The image of men endlessly cycling through women, refusing to settle down, describes a very tiny minority of highly desired men on the apps, not the average guy.

Ladies, nearly all of you have literally THOUSANDS of likes sitting in your queue within 2-3 weeks of downloading Hinge, Tinder, or Bumble. Are we really supposed to believe that nearly all of those men are emotionally unavailable, unwilling to commit, unattractive, or otherwise disqualified?

If a profile has 2,000 men who have expressed interest, it strains credibility to claim there aren't hundreds of men on your level among them.

At some point, the explanation shifts from "there are no good options" to the effects of abundance. This isn't even a criticism, It's just human nature. Give someone 5 options and they'll likely choose one. Give them 5,000 options and suddenly every flaw becomes disqualifying because there's always another option one swipe away.

The same thing happens everywhere else in life. When options become effectively unlimited, standards rise and people become more selective. That's predictable human behavior.

So I'm very curious:

Do people genuinely believe the average woman's likes queue is 95%+ garbage?

Or does having thousands of available options inevitably make almost everyone seem replaceable, causing many otherwise viable partners to be overlooked?