u/Wrong-Web19

So I’m going to be short and the the point. 28 almost 29 years old, divorced two years ago from an almost 7-8 year long relationship. Started dating again last year, was super sexual with a lady who posed as a Christian - I knew it was wrong because of other factors I don’t want to mention. Met a woman at the start of this year and wow - she’s the most amazing woman I’ve met. I genuinely love this woman and her three kids. She’s an ACTUAL Christian. She’s pretty sexual too like me. But she keeps going on and off about the morality of it and feels convicted. That’s a good sign from me, that she has the Holy Spirit flowing through her. But the problem is that I can’t quite get engaged to her at the moment - long story short, her oldest is allergic to cats, I have four I refuse to part with - I am giving them new food to help eliminate allergies, he’s started allergy therapy again, and we noticed he was able to stay for 4.5 hours at my house. So we have improvements! She lives in a rental home. The thing is, I am getting finances straight to be prepared for the future in my own life and for her. She was with a man for many years and was engaged, but he cheated and she just couldn’t do it anymore. She doesn’t want to pretend to be married and I get it. But I don’t want to commit to engagement itself yet because I don’t want to give the kids hope that their mom will be married, just for it to not work because of her oldest allergies, us continue arguing some, finances, etc. She is nervous about moving in with me because she wants to be sure she has a place for her kids - and I get that. But I’m an analytical man and have thoroughly thought about it and would love for her and the kids to move in some day while we save for a new house.

As for sexually…it’s hard for me to resist. I don’t want to wait a year or two without it. It isn’t just fun to me. I genuinely feel an overwhelming loving feeling for her. I love hard and in my heart, this is the woman for me and in her heart, I’m the man for her. I just don’t know. She’s right that sex outside of marriage is wrong. But it’s hard because I love her - the only difference is that we aren’t officially married or live together yet.

I have a feeling I already know what some responses are going to be - and please don’t be rude or hateful. I genuinely need help and guidance. Prayers at least. Thank you and God bless.

I have four cats and a little robot 4. I got two bags of the Whisker brand (20lb each) and burned through one bag within a week. 1 bag = 1 cat according to their website, so four bags for a month would cost me $100/month. However, a friend had me try Pretty Litter a month or so ago and each bag was I think 6lbs each - I had two bags, so 12lbs each. I can buy three bags of the Pretty Litter (18lbs a month) for about $70. This somehow lasted me about three weeks to a month. This Whisker brand sucks and it still has clumps of waste stick to the inside.

That said, are there any other alternatives for odor control that is cheaper? Any testimonies to control odor and something that lasts a while? Or is Pretty Litter the best way to go? I did notice the crystal-like substance of Pretty Litter didn't scatter as much as the Whisker brand.

So here is the deal. My girlfriend and I want to eventually get married and possibly live together in the near future. The problem is that her 9 year old is allergic to cats. I have four but plan on rehoming two of them more than likely. The other two are not going anywhere - I do not have much family left and those two are about all I have left. He used to take shots from his doctor a year and a half or so earlier before I came along - he has allergies to almost anything and needs it. Gf stopped taking him to the doctor because the doctor was far away and she was going through a break up that was almost like a mini divorce. They lived in a place where the kids couldn't be outside much due to no yard, so she didn't prioritize it. 

So what have I done? I have two air purifiers going 24/7. A Robot litter box (name brand too). Right before they walked in I used a reusable lint roller to clean the couch and then sprayed it a lot with the anti pet dander spray I got from walmart. He has been taking generic Zyrtec daily since he stopped the shops a year and a half or so ago - no drowsiness or anything. 

I am at a bit of a crossroads here. If it helps any he is I think 102 lbs. I love those two cats I am keeping so much - and I love my girlfriend and her kids too. We want to live together. I know there is a food you can feed cats that help some, but doesn't get rid of it all. I think we need to focus on him more than the cats, because I have done almost everything I can do.

EDIT: They stayed the night last night and he started having symptoms about three hours in, even though again, he was sleeping in his own room with his other two siblings (they do not have allergies). Chest pains, a bit hard of breathing - they had to go home. First time they ever tried to stay the night. They have visited for two or so hours before and while sometimes his cheeks can get a little red, he hasn't had too many issues. It might be because he stands up and gets excited when playing games, whereas last night he sat down on the couch some (even after I cleaned it).

EDIT 2: Please stop with the "abusive" and relationship "advice" comments. If I were abusive, would I be willing to go above and beyond and spend a ton of money to ensure the kid has a great life? Would I be tirelessly trying to do everything in my power to love him, his siblings, and mother? I don't need your relationship advice. I am no longer replying to such comments.

So here is the deal. My girlfriend and I want to eventually get married and possibly live together in the near future. The problem is that her 9 year old is allergic to cats. I have four but plan on rehoming two of them more than likely. The other two are not going anywhere - I do not have much family left and those two are about all I have left. He used to take shots from his doctor a year and a half or so earlier before I came along - he has allergies to almost anything and needs it. Gf stopped taking him to the doctor because the doctor was far away and she was going through a break up that was almost like a mini divorce. They lived in a place where the kids couldn't be outside much due to no yard, so she didn't prioritize it. 

So what have I done? I have two air purifiers going 24/7. A Robot litter box (name brand too). Right before they walked in I used a reusable lint roller to clean the couch and then sprayed it a lot with the anti pet dander spray I got from walmart. He has been taking generic Zyrtec daily since he stopped the shops a year and a half or so ago - no drowsiness or anything. 

I am at a bit of a crossroads here. If it helps any he is I think 102 lbs. I love those two cats I am keeping so much - and I love my girlfriend and her kids too. We want to live together. I know there is a food you can feed cats that help some, but doesn't get rid of it all. I think we need to focus on him more than the cats, because I have done almost everything I can do.

EDIT: They stayed the night last night and he started having symptoms about three hours in, even though again, he was sleeping in his own room with his other two siblings (they do not have allergies). Chest pains, a bit hard of breathing - they had to go home. First time they ever tried to stay the night. They have visited for two or so hours before and while sometimes his cheeks can get a little red, he hasn't had too many issues. It might be because he stands up and gets excited when playing games, whereas last night he sat down on the couch some (even after I cleaned it).

EDIT 2: Please stop with the "abusive" and relationship "advice" comments. If I were abusive, would I be willing to go above and beyond and spend a ton of money to ensure the kid has a great life? Would I be tirelessly trying to do everything in my power to love him, his siblings, and mother? I don't need your relationship advice. I am no longer replying to such comments.

LAST EDIT: I am turning off notifications for the post due to the ignorant and hateful people accusing her of being a bad parent, me being abusive, and rehoming two cats - which isn’t just because of this by the way - and I’m not in the mood to deal with your stupid behavior. As for everyone else, thank you SO MUCH for your help and time. God bless you all.