u/YakOk4359

I have a feeling I’m overfeeding my fish. His poop is so long like about a finger length but I look for signs of overfeeding such as him bloating and he’s fine.
The method I use is to keep feeding till he lacks interest but my fish lowkey big back and I sweat he would eat the whole bottle if possible.

These stories I’m bout to say are wild so I want to say none of these happened in America and the culture from where my mom is from is very different from Americas’ culture.
Anyways so I’m 21F, I live with my mom and three of my brothers. My mom has always been one to be hands on with my siblings and I as a form of punishment and I’ve always resented her for it well into my adulthood. I never had a rlly close relationship with my mom, I help her out financially and stay home for my siblings and that’s about it. I always planned to move out but I feel guilty leaving my brothers alone with her. My mom stopped hitting me when I turned 20 and I saw that as an opportunity for me to try to stop the cycle.
I sat my mom down one day and tried to talk her out of hitting my siblings and tried to explain it doesn’t “beat the bad out of us” and just makes us resent her even more. My mom responded by telling me stories of her past with her mom and how her hitting my siblings and I is nothing compared to how her mom used to treat her. These were some of the things she told me that left me absolutely appalled.
One time she had gotten into an argument with her mom bc she forgot to prepare food for the family and her mom had responded by hitting her with a belt. To get away from this, she ran to her neighbor’s house to ask her to talk some sense to her mom. (Quick context, my mom used to live in a village where everyone knew everyone. Ur neighbors practically raised you up). Anyways, rather than getting the help she needed, the neighbor and my mom proceeded to hit her together???? Hearing this had my jaw dropped. And she had to go home and prepare food as a form of apology.
Another time, she had gotten into another argument with her mom again otw to school. Rather than hitting her, her mom took her to school, then waited for the school assembly to begin. Convinced the teacher to let her speak in front of the assembly and then proceeded to humiliate my mom in front of the whole school as a form of punishment for arguing with her. As if that wasn’t enough, her mom then proceeded to ask the teacher to flog my mom in front of the whole school. (School punishment with a cane was very common where she’s from so this was normal??).
Another time, my mom had spent the night at her cousin house without permission from her mom. The next morning when she got home, her mom proceeded to throw her and her stuff out the house, arguing that if she wants to sleep with her cousins, she might as well live there. My grandma watched my mom sleep on the ground outside for 3 days, not allowing my mom inside as a form of punishment. My grandma still required her to go to school and it took the whole neighborhood convincing her mom to finally let my mom back in the house.

These were just some of the stories from her past my mom told me and I really tried to convince her that none of these was normal. She argues that these punishment instilled values and respect into her and she’s glad her mom was the type to not play around? And I should be grateful she’s not on the same level as my mom. Idk, I feel extreme pity for my mom and I’m really trying to convince her to go to therapy because ik how messed up I am from her hitting me and I can’t imagine how fcked she is from what her mom did to her. I’ve been trying to talk her into seeking some professional help but I’m getting no progress. She says she’s fine and her mom didn’t mess her up. Idk how to