u/YeetusMcCliterus

I hate making these type of posts but I really don’t have anyone else besides my parents to talk to right now.

Just to understand the scenario, I’m a 21 M living on my own with my lil pup. Have a decently established career, have no debt, and buying a motorcycle very soon. I did have one extremely narcissistic/controlling relationship of 5 years on top of a couple suicide attempts.

I come here asking for advice/insight to what my problem may exactly be. As the title states I see myself as useful as a rock. I damn near refuse to believe anything positive anyone has to say about me or anything I do. I overthink every possible thing I can whether it be something I said or mostly what others think of me. I feel I always make the worst decisions possible and that my life is going no where. On top of that, I can’t socialize to save my life and anxiety is nearly crippling me and my everyday life. I turned to drugs/alcohol for while but that of course isn’t the smartest solution.

I am on medication for anxiety and OCD but obviously medication isn’t a magical thing that makes everything perfect or disappear. I will say some friends I’ve talked to said they never noticed any of these things but I don’t see how as this all is what makes me so miserable.

I don't normally make these posts but I am in such disarray I have no one else to ask for advice

Long story short: I've been doing insurance restoration work on residential houses for nearly 5 years of the 21 years I've been on this floating rock. The management where I currently work is slowly going downhill after the new owner has taken over. I have been debating changing my job for several months but I'm honestly too terrified to make the change after dedicating so many years into this career field I feel its a waste of time and effort to change after investing some schooling and so much time into this job. The company has treated me very well and made me the youngest foreman in the history of the business but I just slowly am losing any interest in this job.

I know I would LOVE to work with dogs but the pay in the area I live just is not enough to live on.

I'm sure I'm not the first person to feel this way and any advice would be welcome!