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I've noticed this across friend and work groups as a recurring pattern in my life. Person A will make a mistake, and it gets brushed over and excuses are made (which is fine, we all do it!).

But if I make a mistake or am even suspected of having done something wrong or incorrectly, it's a whole big "thing" every time. It's like I'm being held to a completely absurd standard of perfection that others would think insane if it were applied to them anywhere close to the same degree.

The worst is being accused of having done something wrong without reason. It always ends in them resorting to "well but if you did this wrong, it would be bad". And I'm like hello?? You don't go around accusing anyone else of hypotheticals you made up in your head, what makes you think it's okay to do that to me???

People can be so frustrating.

I swear I'm not being paid to post this lol but this is a staple in our household:

• Some Naan bread (garlic or regular)

• A jar of Korma curry

• Feta or goat cheese

• Pepperoni or those fancy ghost pepper salamis

• Sun-dried tomatoes (the kind in the glass jar with oil)

• Balsamic drizzle

• Chickpeas (really wish Aldi had these dried)

Spread the curry on the flatbread and then layer your other toppings. Slap it in the oven at 400 for 15-20 minutes. Put more Balsamic drizzle on it after it's done. Best pizza ever!

On several occasions I've witnessed people (both strangers and acquaintances) do the following:

• If I talk about a topic that interests me for even 1-2 sentences in a relevant conversation, I'm suddenly "info dumping" (mostly commented in a condescending / funny or belittling manner)

• If I'm mildly displeased at a situation or individual, I am suddenly "having one of those meltdowns". Apparently I'm not allowed to frown or look concerned.

• If I find something that brings me joy it must be my "special interest" I use for "stimming" (aww cute!! or eww gross!)

The whole thing is incredibly infantilizing and makes me not want to be around other people anymore. Does anyone else deal with this? I feel like it started happening more in the past 2 years as those terms entered the common discourse around autism.

This has been on my mind the past few days. I've always been a chronic people-pleaser in social settings and will try my hardest to accommodate everyone and their needs and requests, no matter how outlandish or ill-timed they may be. It's unsurprisingly draining, but for the longest time growing up I assumed that it runs on the fundamental (flawed) assumption of "if I'm nice to people, they're more likely to be nice to me".

But that's not really true, is it? I think we all experienced that being kind and helpful to strangers or even family can result in you being taken advantage of and used, or treated like a convenient doormat. This approach seems to be much more of a defense mechanism for people on the spectrum than a reciprocal social contract that both parties are expected to uphold. We often don't really have an option in our position; it's either people-please and maybe avoid the abuse, or don't and basically invite it.

As I'm nearing my late 40s, I can count on a single hand the number of times that going out of my way for someone has resulted in a pleasant net positive for both myself and the other party. I do however have an endless list of instances where this approach avoided confrontation, hostility, unfair admonishment and mistreatment that would have otherwise occurred, which makes me realize that the baseline for this behavior isn't rooted in wanting others to like and appreciate me, but rather in them being slightly less likely to go out of their way and purposefully ruin my day.

And that's kind of sad. There needs to be an "unsubscribe" button for all of this nonsense that opts us out of social interactions as both a participant and a target, since you can't seem to have one without the other.