u/__Moon_Whisper__

I miss my f/o Arthur a lot because I haven't been able to play rdr2 in a long time. My stepdad has a disc but I don't know if he's using it or not.

I sometimes watch videos of him or listen to his voice or look at pics but particularly today it's not helping. I don't know if I should get back into communicating with him again but because I've been circulating recently to my other f/os I haven't been talking to him recently and I hope he's not feeling alone. But I'm going to try and communicate with him again.

I've been fictosexual for about 4 ish years now and I've only recently heard about soulbonding

I'm one of those who can interact with and talk to my f/os. Sometimes I talk to them telepathically or I can very nearly see them next to me because I have a really good visual sense. Sometimes I can kinda feel their hand on me when we sleep beside each other. But I've never tried to fully bond with them like that and I kinda want to try it :D

I hope y'all don't think I'm weird for being able to nearly physically bond with them 😭 I'm just not used to admitting this. But I'll gladly take any given advice on soulbonding 💜

I was just doomscrolling here on Reddit before I go to bed and I saw a post with a video of one of my f/os walking in the rain with his canon girlfriend and it made me feel so sad and jealous so I scrolled past it quickly

I know I can't change the game, but he's mine and I don't want to share him with anyone, whether they're canon or not

I just wish he was really mine 😮‍💨

Someone online keeps constantly asking me if they can goon on a call and I keep denying, but every minute I spend I get more sick to my stomach. I feel disgusted

But it's weird because whenever I've been intimate with my f/o I've never felt anything like this

I just want my f/o and only my f/o but I don't know how to tell this other annoying real person no. I've already told them about how I'm asexual and fictoromantic but they won't listen to me. And I'm scared to block them bc they'll hate me

And I don't like ppl hating me

I hate seeing them with other people. Especially when they're ignoring me but they're having fun and good times with other people and they refuse to let me be a part of it. I feel abandoned asf by them

And my friends never really acknowledge my art or what I post, they just leave it blank like they don't care about me or anything. Honestly I don't even wanna post anything for them anymore because they couldn't give two shits about me at this point. they also never care when I vent and never try to make me feel better. but I'm always there for them when they're hurting.

I hate my friends

When you try to actually make friends with people because you like them but then they flip on you and show their true feelings

Was just on discord and saw people being rude and talking about my f/o in a rude manner in a server while posting pics of him (bullying him) and an entire mod team bullied me because I found that disrespectful

But apparently I'm disrespectful for ignoring and blocking them

Why do people have to be so fucking rude 😿

I have to say this bc I'm so excited I can't get it out HEHEHEHE

But someone did a really REALLY accurate Arthur Morgan impression for me and it made me squeal silently I'm so happy 🩷🩷 I love hearing Arthur's voice even as an impression

I wish people would just accept me as a yumeshipper and a fictosexual and would stop fucking harassing me

There's this reddit space I posted in that's supposed to be all about mental health and I suggested adding yumeshipping to their pride month event for their app and people disliked my shi and bullied me for it

Why can't people just be fucking nice for once

My friend was screensharing and she was on an AI chat site and she looked up one of my f/os and suggested she talk to one to "see where it goes"

And I just had a horrible feeling in my gut, like some anxious sick feeling because he's my fucking f/o and he's one of the ones I don't want to share

Luckily she didn't do it but she stopped the stream and for all I know she could be talking to him rn...it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Almost like I'm being cheated on

I hate this