u/___LIO___

At a bus stop the only place with shadow in the afternoon

I feel like I failed in Just about everything in relationships romantic and friendship and my career. In life in general I'm 23 so everyone will just dismiss my feelings because I'm a man and because I'm young so I'm not allowed to be sad about any of this because I can still change everything I'm still young, it's so annoying, so dismissive, so invalidating you can say that about everyone at any age maybe just acknowledge my pain that maybe I can be mad and sad about the world about my life what do I have nothing and I don't have a future and pretending like I do is insane. I worked so hard and got nothing nobody cares my opinion matters to nobody. I was best in my class in every subject 3 years in a row, im dyslexic and I was the best in writing in another language and nobody cared. I'm unhappy and I can't change it I tried I really did. I'm sure there still will be someone commenting dismissing me and my problems as I'm still young or telling me my problems will be fixed with a trip to the barber and a bit of working out and someone else will say it takes time to get better bla bla bla like I haven't been trying for years so again dismissing my problems because in are society failure is always seen as your own fault your poor you must have done something wrong, you get sexually assaulted you must have done something wrong, you don't have relationship you must have done something wrong. I have to sit here and see more and more sexism in the world more and more fascism more and more Sher stupidity and see the world get worse and worse knowing I don't have a future there is no retirement for me in 40 years no house of my own all I get is war here war there, 40°c Sommers, laws that the government can surveil me as much as they want and sell that Data to billionaires. You know what I dreamed off a house with a garage to but a workshop into a little garden at the back to grow some potatoes some pumpkins strawberries that's sort of stuff nothing crazy and some friends to hang out with and a partner to cuddle with but no I'm not getting shit nothing.

I went to fast and splashed some watercolor on my paper

I know I'm going to get a bunch of comments I'm still young and have everything ahead of me. I know but that doesn't help and my life isn't suddenly going to go somewhere and it's also not going to get better with time that's not a law of nature. Life doesn't have to get better with time it will probably get worse if anything. So I guess I kinda of just want someone to pretend to like anything about me so I guess that's why I'm here.

It's the memobottle A7 for those interested

I'm 22 did a 3 year apprenticeship and been working for 7 months as a welder it's 31°c I'm wearing helmet and fire proof jacket the heat is killing me. I work 9 hours a day spent 2 hours commuting I make 10€ a hour after taxes I don't have time or energy after work and to much to do on weekends. no social life no relationships all to not be able to afford anything. I waisted my life till now.