u/aecon_33

Someone built an "amusement park" featuring things like roasted chicken corpses being loaded onto rollercoasters and spun around on big towers. I... genuinely don't even know how to react. Thousands of innocent birds killed for zero reason to have their corpses put up on some sick display. The video of it got thousands of upvotes, and lots of people expressed disappointment that it was shut down due to food safety concerns. What is wrong with humanity

20M, 67kg, UK based

I don't feel like myself on my medication. I'm tired all the time, sleep 10+ hours a day, have brain fog, sweat loads, have endless nightmares, can't remember things, and feel less empathetic.

I take lamotrigine (100mg twice a day), venlafaxine (150mg slow release), and lisdexamfetamine as needed (20mg). I don't take the latter very often because, while it helps, it makes the sweating worse, and when I take it continuously for more than a week or two my mood becomes really all over the place.

I have C-PTSD, an unspecified mood disorder, ADHD and autism.

I also have epilepsy. I can't come off the lamotrigine because it stops my brain from frying itself - it's beneficial for my mood too, but mainly it stops the seizures (which might have been the cause of the mood swings anyway).

My medication keeps me alive and stops my severe anxiety, but I'm tired of all the side effects. I don't care about things anymore.

Lately I feel like I've been getting depressed again. My psychiatrist says it's just C-PTSD symptoms, but it feels like depression. I have a strong family history of mood disorders, both manic depression and regular depression. I don't want to/can't get out of bed; I don't want to see my friends; nothing interests me; everything feels dull, grey and hopeless; and I've been having thoughts that the world would be better off without me again. I've been struggling to motivate myself to shower and brush my teeth. It's hard to keep track of time. I've been sleeping at odd times. I'm not actively suicidal, but I don't feel good about being alive either.

Whenever I go outside, I get this sensation that my body is falling apart and my thoughts are being absorbed by the sky. I can feel the premeability of my own skin again. My mind is no longer contained and I know the universe is listening. I've been avoiding going out because I don't want my mind to escape into the ether. The world simply feels too large. I get this worry that gravity will stop working and I'll float away, or that my thoughts will stop being my own.

Perhaps I am scared of my own ego disintegrating, but mainly I don't like the idea of having my thoughts stolen. I feel like my friends are all talking about me, that they can see my unpleasant thoughts on my face and nobody wants me around. The neighbours watch me when I'm in the garden (it's a shared garden and I regularly get people wave at me through their window and come out to talk to me about what I'm doing) so I've been avoiding doing gardening because I feel like they'll notice my mind being off and do something I don't like the idea of.

I've been talking with the God(s)/universal connection a lot. Not in a physical "I can hear their voices", but I feel their presence. I can sense the souls inside the objects in my house. The whole world feels sad lately and I am in tune with it.

Things like climate change have been really getting me down. I feel like the cosmic balance is disturbed and that humanity is a sickness upon the earth. I've been writing a lot of poetry lately, it makes things feel okay.

SSRIs made me go crazy, I can't have TCAs or brupropion because of epilepsy, and my psych feels like mitrazipine or antipsychotics would only sedate me more.

I've been seeing a therapist again and trying to exercise more, eat better, take my vitamins, etc. I know I should, but I don't want to see people at the moment. I went through a breakup a little over a month ago now, but things were getting bad before that. I asked for a medication change in March, but I was told there was nothing else they could give me for my C-PTSD.

What should I do?

My NPD + BPD dad (he would absolutely qualify for and be helped by a dual diagnosis if he would go near a therapist) genuinely seemed to believe that anytime someone wasn't in his immediate sight or he didn't know where they were, they were abandoning him.

Whenever my mother went anywhere without telling him, he'd freak out and start going off about how she was always sneaking around, never answered her phone, was planning to leave, how he was better off without her, etc.

He often projected his issues onto me. I distinctly remember one time my mum went to pick up someone from the train station. He took me aside and said that she'd left forever because she hated me, I was terrible and she didn't want to deal with me anymore. This was common behaviour for him - often it'd be paired with long, self pitying rants about how no one understood him, he was unappreciated and everyone would leave after they'd got what they wanted (the standard stuff).

Cat haiku:

Small, stripy tiger

He bounces on the counter

China on the floor

Why would I want to be friends with someone I am in love with so that they can keep me on the line as a self esteem boost, comfort blanket and maybe an occasional source of sex?

Why would I want to be friends with someone who makes my heart feel like it's being torn out of my chest every time I see them?

Why would I want to be friends with someone who told me I was too much to cope with, they didn't like the needs and expectations they had projected on to me, and that thinking about our relationship filled them with dread?

Why would I want to be friends with someone who hung our relationship over my head for weeks, told me that we could get back together, then back tracked a few days later? Oh, and did this when I was in the hospital alone after a major diagnosis.

Why would I want to be friends with someone who, after tearing everything apart, later said I am an extremely caring person, they still love me and that all our problems could be fixed, but they just didn't want to put in the effort?

Why would I want to be friends with someone who shredded up my entire life; destroyed many of my dreams and plans for the future; broke my heart and wrecked our entire relationship because they couldn't be bothered to work on things?

I don't even know why they think I would still want to talk to them, let alone be friends. I don't know why they even think the offer would be comforting.

I was wondering if barefoot shoes could possibly help with some of my foot, knee, hip and back pain - my mum has always been slightly obsessed with them and swears that they've helped her feet when she's been able to afford them. I also have neuropathy and poor circulation in my feet and constricting shoes cause immense pain.

I like to walk around the house and garden barefoot because I don't like how shoes feel, but when I'm walking longer distances on rough surfaces, I prefer something with more padding. My favourite shoes at the moment are On's Cloud 6s.

When I've worn shoes in the past with minimal or no arch support, my feet and knees have been in agony very quickly. I rely a lot on my shoes to help balance against moderate genu valgum in both knees and a rotational deformity in my right leg. This isn't a muscular imbalance - I've had it assessed by an orthopedic surgeon and it really is caused by problems with the bones. I cannot "strengthen" my way out of it.

I have a herditary connective tissue disorder and am incredibly hypermobile - my feet are prone to hyper extension, and my ankles sublex and sprain easily. I find supportive shoes help prevent this.

Has anyone with similar issues been able to wear barefoot shoes?

I reached a point in our relationship a few months ago where I basically said "I can't be with someone who isn't vegan". I'd explicitly said on my profile I wanted to date someone who was at least vegetarian. However, I met them and we had a deep and amazing connection, something really special. They said they agreed with veganism, but weren't quite able to make the transition.

They did go vegan in the end, or at least I thought they did. They kept saying how easy it was, how they were shocked by people's laziness, how they realised they were wrong the entire time. I was so happy my partner and I shared such an important value, and that they'd seen the error of their ways and had changed.

A few weeks back, due to strains their mental health was putting on the relationship, we went on a break. They confessed a few days later that they had eaten animal products again, but were immediately going to stop and that they regretted it. A few weeks later, when we were settled on getting back together, I get a talk about how they can't be 100% vegan and they don't have the willpower. They were still going to "cut down on animal product consumption".

I tried to get them to watch Dominion while we were dating, but they couldn't even sit through ten minutes. They say they can never eat pig flesh again after what they saw. I've said they should watch the rest of the documentary, but they can't look at the rest of the abuse they pay for.

The truth is that I'm utterly disgusted by their behaviour. I feel unable to forgive them. I don't even know if I ever want to see them again. I view them on the same level as someone who went back to enabling and paying for slavery after admitting it was wrong enough to quit for a while. They still say veganism is 100% morally correct and that they would be vegan if they had more willpower - It just comes down to them being too lazy to do it.

I feel conflicted because, at the same time, I love them and I miss them. My family and friends say that if they were that important to me I'd have been able to overlook them not being vegan. I feel like nobody really understands

The shame is immeasurable. I'll make sure not to shatter any more bones on my way out the door

I somehow injured my spine at the gym without noticing (or possibly just rolled on it wrong while sleeping, who knows). I have terrible lower back pain and numbness throughout my private parts. I can't piss efficiently and I can't crap at all. All positions hurt in slightly different ways. Bending my neck or back feels like I'm being electricuted. Oh, and I'm stuck in hospital until the consultant comes to see me. Nice.

I hate this illness. They haven't confirmed that it's a connective tissue disorder thing, but let's be real, it probably is because when is it not a bloody connective tissue disorder thing...

Question as in title. I was wondering if there was an alternative or a secret technique to the stuff. I use oil to remove it and treat the holes it leaves with germolene, but I've kind of given up on taping. It's left me with some pretty gnarly scars. I have similar issues with some plasters.

I'm also a pretty hairy guy - it would be nice to find something similar that doesn't give me an unwanted wax lol

I feel quite alone as someone with a connective tissue disorder who doesn't have the standard EDS, allergies or MCAS and POTS trifecta as sometimes it seems like it gets a lot of focus over other complications, symptoms and comorbidities.

I have severe, widespread tendonitis and tensonyovitis; mild hearing loss; recurrent nerve entrapment; multiple cartilage problems including what's probably a labral tear in my right hip; circulation problems in my hands and feet; and bone/joint deformities from repeated dislocation and hyperextension. I developed degenerative disc disease by the time I was 12 and suffered through multiple bowel blockages as a teenager. I also have an immune deficiency - something which is found at an increased rate in people with hEDS/HSD (I don't know about other subtypes, but I'd be happy to be informed).

I don't hear this stuff talked about often even though it's all related to wonky connective tissue.

What's something you wish was discussed more?

FTM trans, 20, CCRD and went from bisexual to almost entirely heterosexual after transition with a continued romantic interest in men. I don't quite fit the high oestrogen signalling profile in terms of physical phenotype as I fit a more IBS-C pattern, have never had acne, and I am not overweight and never have been - I was actually slightly underweight as a teenager. I have multiple bone and joint deformities (degenerative disc disease, knock knees, rotational deformity, possible hip dysplasia or loss of cartilage in my right hip), an immune deficiency (hypogammaglobulinemia with mostly normal vaccine response, maybe T-cell dysfunction), poor thyroid function with normal TSH, epilepsy, chronic fatigue, widespread joint pain, possible peripheral neuropathy, chronic gastritis not explained by H. pylori or coeliac, a never ending iron deficiency, extreme hypermobility (Beighton score 9/9 and that fails to capture the extent of it), mild sensorineural hearing loss on my left side, imbalance of eye muscles, hyperlexic and hyperverbal autism, ADHD, and dyspraxia. I am suspected to have endometriosis and adenomyosis. I've been told my uterus is abnormally large and unusually shaped.

Edit: I also had to be put on GnRH analogues to get my body to stop trying to menstruate and respond to testosterone normally.

I also had a straight up bizarre response to SSRIs and developed a combination of manic/psychotic symptoms along with severe hyponatremia and some sort of movement disorder. I have bipolar-esque mood patterns that might be caused by epilepsy, but both the seizures, severe depression and hypomanic behaviour are well controlled with lamotrigine. The remaining intermittent bouts of milder depression responded well to venlafaxine, although I developed what looked like mild serotonin syndrome when I was first put on it. This seemed to go away as my body adapted.

I get a lot of random jerking and twitching. These worsen and I develop severe dystonic movements when I drink too much alcohol.

I was told by a top immunologist before they retired that they have no idea what is wrong with me and that I don't fit the clear pattern that is seen in more commonly recognised immune deficiencies, but there is clearly something going on.

I don't test positive on any of the standard EDS/Marfans/Loey-Dietz/Stickler genes. I have rare but unlikely to be harmful variants on ACAN (both have a fairly low REVEL score) and LAMA5 (a missense variant deemed a VUS). My other significant variants on the Dr Powers "why trans" gene screen were a benign missense variant on IGF1R, and two missense variants and a likely benign but drug-response altering frameshift variant on CYP2D6.

I understand no medical advice can be given, but based on what this gene does, it seems like a somewhat likely candidate for my symptoms. I'm guessing zinc supplementation probably wouldn't help outside of a deficiency as the problem might be further upstream?

It's a heterozygous variant so it's a long shot regardless, just figured I should ask in case a similar case has been seen and treated.