u/aelea_83

How did it affect you emotionally during the first few weeks after you found out or received court papers?

Did you become more withdrawn or isolate yourself while trying to process everything?

If you were in a relationship at the time, how did you handle communication with your partner?

I’m trying to better understand what this experience can be like from a father’s perspective.

Context: Current set up is 50/50 since separation 4 years ago. 1 week per parent. Now the ex-partner (mother) wants full custody of both children. Kids are 8 and 12.

I (42) posted a few days ago about my boyfriend (37) going through a custody battle.

I took the advice to give him space, not add to his burden, and let him focus on what he needs to do while reminding him that I’m here for him.

He replied recently, and I’m grateful that he did.

I just needed to let this out because today feels especially hard. I know his focus has to be on this case right now, and I truly understand why. He may not be able to communicate the way he used to while he’s dealing with all of this.

Understanding it doesn’t make the waiting any easier.
The hardest part isn’t even that we talk less. It’s knowing someone I love is carrying something so heavy, and because we’re long distance, I can’t even be there to even just prepare him breakfast, hug him, or make sure he’s eating.

Some days I’m okay. Other days, like today, I just miss him so much and wish things were easier for him. He‘s just the nicest and loving person I have met. I hope and pray that he will get through this and that our relationship will survive this.

I’m not really looking for advice this time. I just needed to say out loud that this is hard. Being away with each other is just too hard.

I (42) posted a few days ago about my boyfriend (37) going through a custody battle.

I took the advice that a few of you shared, to give him space, not add to his burden, and let him focus on what he needs to do while reminding him that I’m here for him.

He replied recently, and I’m grateful that he did.

I just needed to let this out because today feels especially hard. I know his focus has to be on this case right now, and I truly understand why. He may not be able to communicate the way he used to while he’s dealing with all of this.

Understanding it doesn’t make the waiting any easier.
The hardest part isn’t even that we talk less. It’s knowing someone I love is carrying something so heavy, and because we’re long distance, I can’t even be there to even just prepare him breakfast, hug him, or make sure he’s eating.

Some days I’m okay. Other days, like today, I just miss him so much and wish things were easier for him. He‘s just the nicest and loving person I have met. I hope and pray that he will get through this and that our relationship will survive this.

I’m not really looking for advice this time. I just needed to say out loud that this is hard. Being away with each other is just too hard.

I’m in a long-distance relationship, and my boyfriend is currently going through one of the hardest periods of his life. He’s in the middle of a custody battle involving his children, and it’s consuming him emotionally.

Lately, our conversations have become very different. Almost every time we talk, he goes back to saying that if he loses his children, nothing else will matter anymore. I’ve tried encouraging him, reminding him that the case isn’t over yet and that he should keep fighting, but it feels like my words aren’t getting through.

I’m trying to remind myself that he’s in survival mode and that maybe he simply doesn’t have the emotional capacity to be present in our relationship right now. At the same time, it’s hard not to wonder whether I’m slowly losing him too.

For those who have been in long-distance relationships with a partner going through a major personal crisis, what helped? Did giving them space help, or did you continue checking in? How did you know the difference between someone who was overwhelmed and someone who was emotionally checking out of the relationship?

Update: I only message when he replies.. yesterday his messages are concerning especially the last one he sent. I tried to call him once but as expected he did not answer. I just sent a message that i got worried with his message and what he meant by it, he answered: nothing.

But then i noticed, his profile pic in whatsapp suddenly disappeared which indicates that he has probably deleted me in his contacts. It hurts and i don‘t know if it means if we have broken up.

I still replied to his last message and sent one more asking if he is safe. My messages were still delivered but he hasn‘t replied yet.. I feel hurt and worried at the same time.

I’m in a long-distance relationship, and my boyfriend is currently going through one of the hardest periods of his life. He’s in the middle of a custody battle involving his children, and it’s consuming him emotionally.

Lately, our conversations have become very different. Almost every time we talk, he goes back to saying that if he loses his children, nothing else will matter anymore. I’ve tried encouraging him, reminding him that the case isn’t over yet and that he should keep fighting, but it feels like my words aren’t getting through.

I’m trying to remind myself that he’s in survival mode and that maybe he simply doesn’t have the emotional capacity to be present in our relationship right now. At the same time, it’s hard not to wonder whether I’m slowly losing him too.

For those who have been in long-distance relationships with a partner going through a major personal crisis, what helped? Did giving them space help, or did you continue checking in? How did you know the difference between someone who was overwhelmed and someone who was emotionally checking out of the relationship?

I’m in a long-distance relationship, and my boyfriend is currently going through one of the hardest periods of his life. He’s in the middle of a custody battle involving his children, and it’s consuming him emotionally.

Lately, our conversations have become very different. Almost every time we talk, he goes back to saying that if he loses his children, nothing else will matter anymore. I’ve tried encouraging him, reminding him that the case isn’t over yet and that he should keep fighting, but it feels like my words aren’t getting through.

I’m trying to remind myself that he’s in survival mode and that maybe he simply doesn’t have the emotional capacity to be present in our relationship right now. At the same time, it’s hard not to wonder whether I’m slowly losing him too.

For those who have been in long-distance relationships with a partner going through a major personal crisis, what helped? Did giving them space help, or did you continue checking in? How did you know the difference between someone who was overwhelmed and someone who was emotionally checking out of the relationship?

My boyfriend is currently facing a custody dispute with his ex-partner.

They were never married and have two children, ages 12 and 9. For years they have had a 50/50 arrangement where the children spend one week with him and one week with their mother.

The mother has now hired a lawyer and is seeking full custody as well as child support.

My boyfriend has always been actively involved in raising the children and is devastated by the situation.

His biggest concern is that he cannot afford a lawyer. I suggested looking into legal aid, but he believes he does not qualify or that there is no practical help available to him.

My questions are:

What options are available in France for parents who cannot afford a lawyer in a custody dispute?

Are there free or low-cost legal aid organizations that assist with family law cases?

Can someone start custody proceedings or defend themselves in family court without a lawyer?

Has anyone gone through a similar situation in France and can share their experience?

Thank you.