Have a lot going on in my life and just would like someone to cuddle with, watch a show we’ve seen a thousand times before and just switch off our minds. Laugh about something that we just thought of because something in the show reminded us of it. In the sw burbs of Chicago.
There are a lot of things we don’t miss since we’ve gotten divorced.
But I miss the intimacy. The cuddling and watching a movie. The hound out and doing things together. Like how it was in the beginning of we hoped would be our last love. I miss the touching, the talking about our day and everything and anything in between.
I’m 45 from Chicago and so hard to meet people who just want to talk and get to know one another. Build that connection, and what not. Whenever I put myself out there as a single empty nester woman, it’s disgusting how guys talk. It really makes me realize that’s why there’s crazy old cat ladies. Lol
Before I go into the newest tirade, all I do is work, come home and sleep. Wake up, rinse repeat. With when I am home she constantly asks the came questions, where is this item? I know it was here. For the past year. In now adding, “you don’t tell me anything.” And I’m like I tell her because I’m constantly complaining about my job. Whatever.
Again I want to thank everyone for letting me vent. It hasn’t gotten peaceful but it has gotten a little more manageable.
I would take her out to lunch once a week. But every time I do it’s always about the golden child. Never asking me anything about me.
However I’m starting to see more things and I don’t know if it’s part she’s a narcissist or the dementia is getting worse. Or both?
She’s started to clean. I don’t know what is worse. The hoarder situation, or her cleaning. (It’s little very little.)
I make a comment about something to do with work. She snorts and says there’s no such thing. Then goes into how when she worked part time and comparing her situations 40+ years ago to mine. Idk what she said, I tuned her out. It was all about her. And how much worse she had it. Blah blah blah. (My job wants me to drive an hour one way for a 30 minute meeting on my day off. And I made the comment they should pay me travel.)
I wake up in the morning and she asks me if I put water in the coffee maker. (Knowing full well I don’t touch the coffee pot.) I said no, she said it overflowed. Okay? I didn’t touch it. I use the small one cup maker if anything, not the 12 cup pot. (There’s two coffee machines in the kitchen.)
Then she asks me about a paper shredder. If I took it. A what?!?! I’m barely functioning at this point. I just whisper no, because I didn’t take a damn paper shredder. (One if I needed one that badly, there’s one at work, and two, if I get upset or accuse her of giving it to my “sister”, she would get defensive.) so I just keep my voice to a whisper.
Me: no. I didn’t take it.
Her: YOU DON’T HAVE TO YELL! I KNOW IT WAS THERE! And now it’s not!
And she’s getting so upset. And I just walk away. Because no matter what I say, it’s my fault. I kinda know what’s happening, she’s giving stuff to my sibling and not remembering and then blaming it on me.
Oh to top it off.
She traded in her car and daddy’s car on a new (used) car. $20k. (A woman who constantly cries she’s broke) I kept my mouth shut.
Daddy’s rental home that’s in probate, during the last storm, a branch from the tree in the front yard, (I told her it needed to be taken care of last year,) fell on the neighbors car and house. (Everyone last year told me shes a big girl and to let her do everything herself. So I have.)
I also found credit card statements of thousands of dollars charged. I know it’s for my sibling. I can’t say anything because that will start a war.
Anything I do or say that I know that needs to be done and taken care of, starts a war with her.
I know it’s only a matter of time now, do I ask her doctor to run tests? What can I do to get someone else involved to where it’s not traced back to me directly? I know it sounds selfish but I’m working more hours due to my promotion and can’t afford to take time off.
I’m writing all this here because she likes to go through my stuff. Yet treats my sibling’s stuff like a shrine and wont touch it. Oh and she brought up when am I moving my stuff out because it’s in the way. Seriously a twin bed, I’m using as a closet. Two tubs in the bedroom. And then where i sleep a box and 4 shoes boxes. There are three floors and a basement and shes honed in on 5 sq ft of space i take up. She complains I have too much stuff.
You are my support system here because I don’t have anyone else here that will acknowledge there’s anything wrong.
Looking for local if possible. please don’t ask me what my age or location is. It’s literally the headline.
Looking for someone to shoot the shit with. Hang out, laugh, get to know one another. Try new things. Vent about life. Have a glass of wine and just relax after a long week. Have an odd sense of humor.
Let’s get lost during the hot summer months and then go back to reality.
I am looking for someone over 37.
Local.
Swap exhausted selfies during the day.
Talk on the phone.
Meet in person.
Not looking for someone who is married and no couples. Not my thing. I’m sorry.
I get it, life gets busy. But I’m looking to talk more than once a day. If you know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about texting without long periods of silence.
Yes my nose is not my nose. It was broken by a baseball in my early teens. And I never got it fixed.
I don’t talk much to begin with unless I know it’s going somewhere. And must be able to swap selfies.
See you soon?
I know sounds weird. lol but I am weird. lol
I’m in the sw burb area.
I don’t get many weekends off and have this weekend off and don’t feel like working my second job.
Someone to grab a drink with after work.
Try new places or specials running.
Love to grill as long as I’m supervised. lol
Binge watch a movie or show.
I’m 45. Empty nester and just hang out with my brothers.
Looking for someone to enjoy laughter and the rest of the summer with.
Thank you if you’ve read my past posts. I’m sorry I’m all over the place.
My brother has been chirping in my mom’s ear again. She sold daddy’s car. (I know. I know) she’s been paying for him. For everything. Again I know. I can’t say anything.
When I mention the phone bill (I pay) she throws it in my face how she never asked me to come up here. So I stopped asking.
Whenever I take her for lunch she tells me stories about my brother or how well he’s doing.
It takes all my strength to not lash out. I don’t give a shit about him. He hasn’t been there for her. And the only time he reaches out is when he needs money. Daddy had all the credit cards paid off and she’s racking them up for him.
I’m up for a promotion at work so been working 50-60 hour weeks and I get thrown in my face, “you’re never home and always out doing your own thing.” All I do is go to work and come back and sleep. My new promotion is further away so more drive time.
It’s whatever my brother wants he gets. I’m tired of listening about it. I’m accomplished in my field and she can’t bother to take two seconds to read my accomplishment. My brother does one little paragraph in my field and she boasts about how great he is. For the last twenty years.
In my rare days off, I’m the one taking care of the outside. Repairs. You name it. And I don’t even get a thank you. I get, “I could have done that.”
She still accuses me of something that happened when I wasn’t living in the same state!
She bought a new car. (Used but new to her.) she yelled at me saying I was supposed to help. I offered but was waiting for our days off to align. “I wanted to get this done by winter.” This was in May. Like huh? $20k.
I do want to thank someone for the recommendation of treating her like a toddler. It’s been helping with me cope through her episodes.
I am just walking on eggshells. She has good days when she doesn’t remember what she’s said. And everything’s good. Then the bad days all I want to do is see daddy.
I’m just wondering when the switch is gonna flip and there’s gonna be no choice but for me to say something had to be done. I receive no help from anyone. They tell me to leave it’s her life. Not realizing she still wouldn’t be in her home if I wasn’t there.
She did start cleaning the house. But the three small boxes in a three level home. Three. She complains about how room it’s taking and she can’t clean the house. So they’re sitting in my car. And she hasn’t noticed I moved them and replaced them with other boxes. And keeps repeating how much stuff I have.
The one to where I can’t even grasp, is to honor daddy we went to where he grew up. (Not far from us.) and I said oh that’s the house! I remember when the family got together. She told me no it wasn’t. I showed her a picture I had. Long story short she argued with me until I pointed out my outfit and where I purchased it from. It was the same house. But she can never admit when she’s wrong.
Sorry for venting. I’m trying. I’m really trying.
I’m in the sw burbs (Lockport area) and just looking for someone to hangout with, vent about life, binge watch tv shows while eating pizza or Chinese. Going out and visiting places one of us hasn’t been to.
I don’t get a lot of free time but when I do sometimes it’s in large spurts here and there. I’m a workaholic and absolutely love what I do.
What’s on my list is
Fringe
Continuum
Grimm
Wicked
Star Wars the new ones
Avatar 3
Disney stuff lol yeah yeah I know.
I’m not much of a drinker but I do like an occasional glass of wine.
I’m weird in my own way.
I don’t care male, female, or sexual preference. Just looking for new friends. I don’t care if you’re 420 friendly. I don’t partake. Would prefer over 30.
I am not in the city and don’t travel there that often.
Text silly memes.
About me I’m a female 45 and don’t know how to sit still. Always constantly doing something.
If interested in double dating my brother is 48.
I want to thank the person who said to treat my mom as a toddler. It’s been a little easier living with her.
But what stage is this?!?! And thank you for letting me vent/rant.
I know when she’s upset. She won’t tell me. She expects me to be around 24/7. I can’t work from home because she’s constantly asking me questions or wanting to do something. But when I ask her what’s wrong, she says nothing. And it’s the “nothing,” you just know something is building.
Lately she asks me multiple times “when do you have off?” I will her today and Thursday. (My days odd change weekly so I get the question.) this is an every day occurrence. She’ll get sad when she realizes I’m off that same day she asks. I’ll take two steps and she’ll ask the same question.
Now I have learned to not get upset and let a lot of things bypass. I won’t raise my voice. I’ll answer the question as if she asked the first time. But she’ll get start to get pissed off with me. ???
I also ask her if she needs help. She says no. Then when I’m on walking out the door for work, oh can you do this? This needs to be done. That needs to be done. I tell her I’ll do it when I get home from work. “You never help because you’re always going out.”
My friends and I take care of the lawn, neighbors help with bringing out the trash (I’m at work and she can’t wait until I get home.) whenever she needs something I’m there, my friends, or neighbors.
Last week she tried pulling out of the driveway and got too close to daddy’s car. She called me freaking out. I called neighbors and they were right over. This lady tried to pick up the car to move it. The 80 lb frail little lady tried to pick up and move the car?!?!
The small space I do have, in my old room, I came home to a bag opened on the floor and other things moved and gone through.
I know I can’t confront her. But this is the first time where there’s no mistaken she’s going through my stuff. And there’s no mistaken it’s mine and not hers or my dad’s.
I tried to reach out to her friends. They went running to her and then she thinks I’m trying to start something. 🤦♀️ so I stopped. Even her own family is like “let her do what she wants. It’s her life. You’re giving us a migraine talking about this.” So I stopped.
She pays for my brother whenever he asks for money. He does absolutely nothing. Hasn’t visited her. Barely reaches out. But says the dryer she reimbursed me a year ago was for the cell phone bill. (Which she’s only paid 3 months out of the last year.) it’s not about the money. But it is. If that makes sense. I tell her the bill is due and she’s like I already paid it. I stopped asking.
I feel like she’s getting worse. But and I know this sounds bad I need validation. At least from someone else who has gone through it. Because I’m trying really hard to be here for her.
I know what’s going to happen when and if I move back home. Which is 1500 miles away. With her narcissist tenancies. She’s going to blame me and say it’s all my fault. Or she’s gonna end up like daddy. Where I have to do a wellness check and get that call.
Let me add she is an extreme hoarder. Emphasis on extreme. She blames everyone and says it’s my mess. Like,!?! wtf?! She’ll argue and say it’s not bad. When I came back after daddy passed I felt like I was walking into a strangers house of how bad it was. Then she throws in my face how I didn’t want her to move back. Which wasn’t the case I was trying to keep her there! But if I didn’t intervene there was no way the paramedics/state would allow her stay. My brother was like it’s her house you can’t keep her out. I wasn’t trying to!!!!! You literally have to walk sideways in some spots just to get through this maze.
She agrees with everyone how great an idea is but then tells me it’s stupid and doesn’t need to be done. Like when she was in the hospital and everyone told her to get a dumpster and start throwing stuff away. She gets home and tells me don’t you fucking touch a thing. (She swore at me) I don’t need a dumpster. Idk why everyone is trying to get me out of my house.
So what stage is she in? What sub do I ask legal questions in? I’m not looking for anything and don’t want nothing, but she refuses to have a medical proxy. She blames everyone but takes accountability. (And it’s been like that for many years.) it’s always someone else’s fault. She doesn’t have a will because the lawyer is still working on it. I don’t know much about wills but I can’t see a will taking a year to complete.