u/anorphan4yourthots

These are a few pictures of me and my little girl SOAK. She was in pretty bad shape when I found her, but now she's spoiled rotten. She won't eat a churu unless I sing to her first.

SOAK is the first indoor cat that's genuinely mine, and I love her so much. I've had her for just over two years now. I've always had dogs, and I am surprised at how much I love being a cat dad.

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Frenz, iz AI, Da SOAK. Today, AI do da biggest soo. An mebbe AI need to do crimez an retrayn da dumdumdumdum hewmons! Eben Boo sisfur help wiff da soo an da retrayn.

Furst, mai meowmie get up way too early today. Den she gib us brekkie about manee furebers too early. Dis seem gud, cuz hewdad gibs me churu an churu song too! But! He slipped a pill into mai churu!

Den hewdad picked me up! Uppies may onlee happen wen AI climb on him. No picking me up! And he holds me while meowmie putz a harness an leash on me! AI doez a big hide while dey do da same fing to Boo sisfur. Diz iz outrayge, pill and a leash and non-gonzempt uppies! Hewdad gibs us sum toona, sez to calm us down, but iz still outrayge.

Den, when AI iz hidin under da sleepy square, hewdad grabs da leash an pullz me out! He gibs me uppies again an takez me outside in da webber. AI hates da webber. I luvz mai clime ate control. Meowmie iz already in vroomvroom bocks wiff Boo sisfur. Hewdad hands me an da leash to meowmie and off we go in da bocks!

AI iz scared and singin da songs uv our peeple, lliek "Ode to Pee Crimez" an "AI Be Horkin on Yoor Pillow". Der iz litter bocks an fuds an water in da vroomvroom bocks. AI hidez under da back seat while meowmie drives. We no go to da pokey place, so no AI iz scared and confoosed. We sits in sumfing called a parking lot fur manee furebers an den meowmie's litebocks makez noise. AI hears hewdad on da litebocks, sayin iz OK to com home.

We gets back to da haus, an hewdad haz to fish me out frum under meowmie's chair. He carries me back in da haus an calls me fings like "Baby" and "adorable". BUT! Da Haus smell wrong. So bery, bery wrong! An den hewdad uses da vacuum!

How manee churus shood we soo fur?

Luv,
Da SOAK

(We had pest control come today, so my wife took the cats to sit in her car in a parking lot for a few hours. They sat in the AC and listened to podcasts along with distraught, screeching cats. I took the dogs to the park for the same period. I had the easy part.)

Da full moobie of ICBGC M*A*S*H. Will Fat Gary keep da bear? Will Hoku get eggies?

(Sorry this is late. I've been sick for the last week. Hope y'all like the full story)

Frenz, iz AI DA SOAK! Today, AI play wiff pikkel.

Dat iz all.

Luv,

Da SOAK

Not the mini I should have been working on, but the one that I wanted to paint. I kind of wish that I had put magnets in the coffin and the throne.

Henlo Frenz, iz AI, Bugaboo Bunny, da Queen uv da Beans.

AI not sure if AI shood soo mai spair hewmon. He haz been gibing me dinner an brekkie wen meowmie no feelz gud. An he buyz big bocks uv churus fur me an sisfur SOAK. Yesfurday, AI ask fur headpats, an he gibs me head pats fur a bery long time. Todae, he gib me an SOAK sisfur sumfing he callz "stinki fish" as speschul treat (a little piece of sardine). SOAK no liekz it, but AI luv dis stinki fish. Meowmie neber gib me stinki fish.

All uv dis makez me confused. AI iz alwayz mad at Da Spair. He iz why AI haz sisfurs.

Shood AI be happee about stinki fish and head pats? Or shood AI soo Da Spair fur makin me haff to decide? Mebbe AI call him hewdad liek mai sisfurs do?

Luv,
Bugaboo, Da Queen uv da Beans

Frenz, iz AI da SOAK! Today iz time fur mine Two Day Pawtee to start. Two big furebers ago today, AI finded an adopted mai hewdad. Fur adoption present, he gib me som toona. Tomorrow iz Two big furebers since AI got a meowmie and sisfurs and a haus. So we haz Pawtee fur boff days!

AI invite all uv da Frenz to mai haus to do fun fings liek watch da birbs or run through all uv da kitty doors dat hewdad put in fur me. We haz fresh nip growing near da birb watching windows, so yoo can haz nip while goin ekkekkekk. Der iz rooms wiff cat trees an doggos to play wiff. Wun uv da doggos iz old so she mostly lieks cuddles. An lotz uv blankies!! AI fink dat hewdad an meowmie may eben make me a cat cake an sing birbday song today.

Dis fureber, AI haz done manee big crimez. Da biggest wuz makin meowmie fink dat AI had done an escape crime, but AI wuz just nappin under da sleepy square. AI haz told mai hewdad no churus wiffout da song, an AI liekz to listen to him play da churu song on hiz violin. AI also haz done manee bapbapbaps uv da doggos wen dey need it.

Luv to all mai frenz,

Da SOAK, permasmol void kitty

Frenz, iz AI Da SOAK! A big fureber ago, da wise cattorneys an pawyers here help me settle argument dat mai pawrents had. Wedder mai Gotcha Day iz da day dat AI adopted mai hewdad or da day dat AI got a meowmie and a haus and sisfurs. Yoo agreed dat AI shood pawtee boff days!

So dis Wednesday and Fursday will be mai second Gotcha Day an mai Two Day Pawtee! We haz churus, boff normal and icey, hewdad iz gonna get me nip an a toona cake. Den we haz rooms wiff cat trees for nappin. Der are doggos to play an cuddle wiff, an eben big windows wiff birb feeders so we can watch an go ekkekkekk at da birbs.

Mebbe fren Hoku can use hiz airlimes to get yoo all here, and AI hope dat fren Applejack bring some delicious fuds frum her pawstry shop.

Luv,

Da SOAK and Sisfurs

(I work overnight, and I caught a tiny, starving kitten on the night of 8 JUL 24. I brought her home the morning of the 9th, so my wife and I jokingly argue which day is SOAK'S Gotcha Day. We compromised and celebrate both days. Love you all, SOAK'S Dad and Boo's Spair)

Pspsps: Dis iz pichsur frum da day AI found mai dad an one from now

Henlo Frenz. Iz AI Bugaboo Bunny da Queen uv da Beans. We haz manee crime kitties here, and AI bet dat sum uv yoo haz been in kitty jale like AI wuz. Before Meowmie payed mai bail, dey called me "Brie". Da spair hewmon sez dat if AI had cheese name, it needed to be "Cheddar" cuz AI iz extra sharp. Mai stinki chew wawa sisfur had prison name uv Penny.

Do any uv da Frenz remember der prison name?

Luv and Hisses,

Bugaboo

Henlo Frenz, iz AI Bugaboo Bunny da Queen uv da Beans here wiff noo crime.

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We no dat mannee dumdumdum hewmons fink dat our void frens iz bad luck. Now, AI not liek mai void sisfur bery much, but dat iz cuz she iz in mai haus an gettin luv from mai hewmons, not because she iz bad luck. Da Spair sez dat she iz bery lucky kitty cuz she gotz hewmons rite wen she needed dem most. AI hates wen Da Spair iz rite.

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But!

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AI haz found a way to bring bad luck. Dis morning, AI knocked over a chair an it hit a mirror an it broke da mirror! Dis iz seben big furebers uv bad luck fur Da Spair!!!

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Luv and Hisses,

Bugaboo, Royal Senior Sisfur uv Da SOAK

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(We're rearranging our craft/game room, and Boo knocked over a chair right into a mirror that was waiting to be hung back up.)

Frenz, iz AI, Bugaboo Bunny da Queen uv da Beans. Mai pawrents play da Dungeons and Dragons gamez. Da spair iz sumfing called a DM. He shood be called DS fur Da Spair. Anyway, AI haz done fun crimez.

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Furst, AI knock hiz notebook off uv da table and let da doggo chew da cover. Den AI fink dat it wood be fun to use da notebook as scratchy pad and do a scratchscratchscratch on sum uv da pages. Den, wen he triez to write fur tomorrow game, AI do a sit on da notebook! AI liek doin crimez.

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Luv and Hisses,

Bugaboo, Princess wiff da Paws