u/apsara0

first things first, when i made the phone call to schedule the appointment i told them that i wanted to establish care and get my annual physical exam done.

a few days before the appointment i got a link to check-in online, which i did, and at the time it asked me to pay $40 copay. i didn't do it at the time because i didn't have my FSA card handy.

today i went in for the appointment and turns out they are now charging me $50 and when i asked them about the price that was listed online the woman was just like "oh that's wrong."

i am also confused because my insurance card lists on the front that a primary care appointment, even with a non-selected provider, should only be charged a copay of $25 per visit NOT $50.

now i'm looking at the online patient portal for the medical practice and I see that they classified the appointment as a "Consult 30 min" and not an "annual exam".

there were so many weird experiences and red flags during the appointment, the doctor only even spoke to me for 2 minutes and did not in any way perform an annual physical exam - he only listened to my heart.

my questions:

1 - why was my an annual physical exam billed as a 30 minute consultation? why didn't the doctor perform the procedure that i asked for, the reason I made the appointment in the first place?

2 - are they allowed to state a different, higher copay in person ($50) than what was listed during the online check-in process ($40)? that seems extremely suspicious and like it shouldn't be allowed...

3 - shouldn't an annual physical be free, as a preventive care service?

4 - the fact that i requested a physical exam and the doctor didn't perform that -- is there anything I can do as far as addressing the billing issue, and my being charged not only for a service I did not request, but also not being provided the service that i did ask for?

i feel like a little kid running around in a grown woman’s body. i feel resentful of my circumstances all the time, how unfair life is, and i feel like a victim of life. i have a lot of passivity and learned helplessness and spend a lot of time in ‘freeze’ state, paralyzed by the burdens of life and adult responsibilities like keeping personal hygiene routines, feeding myself 3 meals, doing my workplace responsibilities, focusing on healthy life style, just general taking care of myself and my home and my life. pretty much the only thing i want to do every single day the only thing that gives me motivation to live is one of 4 things:

-watch tv

-sleep

-eat junk food (chicken nuggets)

-vices (cannabis)

literally i have zero motivation to do anything else at all ever. i simply don’t want to do it, and one thing about me is im very good at ‘indulging’ myself and not giving myself boundaries or structure and allowing myself to partake in these base pleasures while continuing to neglect the rest of my life and my needs. im struggling a lot, every single day is a fight with myself and it is so exhausting.

recently through speaking with my therapist & seeing posts from cptsd community on social media, i realized im basically having an emotional flashback almost all the time and i am very age regressed and my inner child be it my 4, 5, 7, 8, or 10-year old self is basically running around unsupervised in my brain and body all the time and my adult self (early 30s) has gone completely offline and is MIA.

i want to figure out how to get my adult self back “online” and present so that my inner child doesn’t feel so lonely and overwhelmed all the time but its so hard. its so exhausting. my brain is so tired from constant internal dialogue between the different ages of myself within my brain, trying to gentle parent myself and show up for myself. i’m so fucking tired 😭 so weary that i could sleep for a hundred years

i need to know, does it ever get easier!

thank you for everything that you do, as a disabled person i would not survive without you

so i can get more work done

yeah what the title says. im moving and have a task rabbit coming to help me pack but im really struggling with anxiety about them judging the state of my apartment, how awkward it will be while they are here and im just sitting on the couch doing nothing etc. i feel like a massive failure, like i should be able to do this packing on my own and the fact i need someone to come help me is so embarrassing. im also spiraling that im running out of time to pack up even though my move is in 2 weeks i can’t stop freaking out about it and feeling like im super behind bc i haven’t done anything yet besides pack 1 box of art supplies. and i feel anxious/scared the tasker is gonna be judging me for being such a loser :(

my health is suffering a great deal and I’d like to explore taking a medical leave but I’m nervous how that will be received by my department/institution as I am a relatively new assistant professor (TT but obviously not yet tenured). I know the law (edit: based in the U.S.) is that my job will be protected, but I am reticent to trust — someone who is truly motivated can always find a loop hole or work around. I guess I am looking to hear from others about their personal experiences, perspectives, if they’ve seen a colleague go this route and how it turned out for them, etc.