u/ariiw

I'm aromantic, and I've had the thought before that if I were alloromantic, I would probably have a typical relationship with sex, and it's only because I'm not that my own holdups around sex and physical intimacy become apparent, bc if I were in a romantic relationship I would probably be comfortable escalating physicality at a societally typical pace and it would not be abnormal.

However, I'm not, and so I'm in my mid-20s and have never had sex, which I know isn't that uncommon, and I don't feel badly about, but also, maybe I'd like to, or whatever.

Anyways, I have a fluctuating opinion of hookups, where sometimes they stress me out, or sometimes they seem fine in theory, but then I'm talking to someone and can't follow through now that it's a real person and not an idea, or sometimes they seem fun, but maybe I'm just horny? Which I guess isn't a bad thing.

Ideally, I could have an fwb situation with someone I actually know, but I am now 3/3 on the people who I have physically intimate relationships being acespec and now living on a different continent from me, and for obvious reasons it's frankly not that easy for me to find people who are interested in some day maybe potentially having sex, but let's just be friends and get to know each other first.

So... What to do if you're easily scared but it's probably lack of experience making you scared in the first place?

I've had the thought before that if I were alloromantic, I would probably have a typical relationship with sex, and it's only because I'm not that my own holdups around sex and physical intimacy become apparent, bc if I were in a romantic relationship I would probably be comfortable escalating physicality at a societally typical pace and it would not be abnormal. (Edit to clarify: I am not ace, I am just also not a super openly sexual person. The feeling is more social anxiety than anything lol, but it gets in the way)

However, I'm not, and so I'm in my mid-20s and have never had sex, which I know isn't that uncommon, and I don't feel badly about, but also, maybe I'd like to, or whatever.

Anyways, I have a fluctuating opinion of hookups, where sometimes they stress me out, or sometimes they seem fine in theory, but then I'm talking to someone and can't follow through now that it's a real person and not an idea, or sometimes they seem fun, but maybe I'm just horny? Which I guess isn't a bad thing.

Ideally, I could have an fwb situation with someone I actually know, but I am now 3/3 on the people who I have physically intimate relationships being acespec and now living on a different continent from me, and for obvious reasons it's frankly not that easy for me to find people who are interested in some day maybe potentially having sex, but let's just be friends and get to know each other first.

So... What to do if you're easily scared but it's probably lack of experience making you scared in the first place?

Hello all! For anyone interested, I am organizing a trans+ karaoke night in Osaka on the evening of 10/23 (Friday)! I know finding trans community can be a challenge and for a variety reasons singing at karaoke can be more challenging for us, so if you want to meet other trans people people or have a safer place to sing, please send me a DM or leave a comment!

More details:

• Will be in the Umeda area or otherwise centrally located to be accessible to people coming from farther away
• Sober-friendly!! (some people may be drinking)
• Maybe we'll do dinner before if people are interested

If you want more trans community but can't come to this event (or don't want to), feel free to still send a message, and we can organize something else!!

After a slew of messages from "heteros" looking for "trans/CD/transvestite" on grindr I changed my bio to say "fuck off 'heteros'" and I just had a guy message me saying he reported me and saying "how can you [trans people] want equal treatment and spew hate, you're all the same." I should have just blocked him outright but I sent something back about "yeah it's hate that as a trans guy, I don't want dick pics from a man who says he's exclusively into women and not into men, we're all the same 🙄," which he responded to with 10 messages that I didn't bother reading and his own dick pic, bc as we all know it makes small men feel powerful to show their penis to someone who's indifferent. what is wrong with people!!!!!! what is wrong with people. sick of it.

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ok just had to vent that's it

Obviously this is a person-to-person thing, but if I've talked with someone on Grindr and later decided that I'm not really into them, what's the most appropriate way of communicating that? Is it better to be blocked outright, left on delivered, or given a proper adult explanation? I know people generally block liberally on Grindr, but idk if that's harsher after having a conversation. Not trying to hurt feelings lol he's a nice guy just not my type

I'm looking for something for when I'm too mentally drained for my other hobbies but that won't suck me in the way social media does.

Inb4 someone says reading, I do that, but I prefer to read in chapter or section chunks, so it's a been less pick-up-put-down than I'm looking for, unless you have a particularly interruptable subset of the hobby to recommend