u/artificialif

TL;DR- Any lingerie for moms who aren't moms? I have the tits of having breastfed three children despite being 24 and childless

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I'm honestly close to tears at this point, that I have to ask reddit after an hour of searching for any lingerie that might fit my body type for the vacation I'm going on.

To preface: I planned the vacation and I am the sole person considering sexy wear for the trip. Meaning: this is not influenced by my partner's manipulation, and I can guarantee this is purely self-motivated, as I've been in relationships where that wasn't the case and this is nowhere near similar.

The reality is, I want to add to the sexiness of our trip, being our first true extended time period alone. I'm moving into my new home, but up until now we have lived with family, making things awkward. And I just want to both feel and be sexy for them and for myself.

Before people come in to say my partner may have brainwashed me: it's honestly almost the opposite. He often doesn't care too much about the clothing involved, but I have gotten positive reactions to lingerie I wore before gaining some weight, and I haven't worn any since. Although I'm still not at my desired weight, I still lost some in the chest department to make me saggy and flat, not in a "flat-chested" way (no hate at all! unfortunately cant think of other descriptors) but rather in a pancake way where existing skin loses volume and flattens to my ribcage. This all leads into my question...

Is there any lingerie, LITERALLY ANY, that I can buy without looking like I've been sucked dry of milk? I feel like a mama cow that birthed a very hungry calf, and I have never had a child. This is no shame to mothers, more shame to myself that I look like I've had a child when I haven't. The only true support I get is from a bra I bought as a freshman in high school (im 24 btw) that was from the only store within 50 miles (that im aware of) offering personal sizing.

I just want to feel sexy for myself first, not even my boyfriend. Shopping to look attractive to him made me realize how little I feel about myself for having a body like mine, and how much I wish for one lingerie style that isn't empty cups exposing my saggy-ness.

Please tell me what lingerie suits a former mother who breastfed. For reference, I'm sized at 32-34 DDD/G. And not in the sexy way. No shame to mothers, I just feel shameful as someone who looks like a mother of 3 when I have no kids to show for it. I just want to shove my disgusting tits into something that makes them less reprehensible on a vacation I was meant to feel happy on.

TL;DR at the bottom because unfortunately, I don't have the capability to be concise

My sister [26] and I [24] are both incredibly fortunate. Basically, my grandmother dated a man for over twenty years who eventually went on to develop a business that put him in the top 1% of a state that already has a high average income. Despite the fact that my grandparents split when my sister and I were 5 and 3, he was in our lives from the very beginning and decided to stay anyway. Because of that, we will very simply not want for anything. To put it into perspective, we both were gifted brand new cars for our 16th birthdays, we both have/had our tuition covered completely (I'm still in school), and we were both just gifted new homes in the beginning of this month.

The thing is, I kinda never really thought about her finances at all despite the way I saw her spend. It just never occurred to me to think about it, even in the moments i was a little jealous haha. She got a masters degree, works at a top firm in her field, is engaged to a man who just started a lucrative career, travels frequently, is overall very "bougie," and we both had an investment account, tuition account, and roth IRA inherited on our 21st birthdays. She must be doing pretty well for herself, right?

Apparently not.

I got curious today after looking at my investment account and how much it has accrued over the past year, and asked her how much she has in her investments. I honestly assumed she'd have surpassed me, especially considering we both got gifted 15,000 over the past two christmases which I deposited the majority of, as well as my tax returns and other savings, into my investments.

She has none. In fact, she only has her roth IRA untouched. I don't know anything about her personal savings whatsoever so for all i know they're impressive. But considering she told me she semi-recently bailed herself out of 13k in credit card debt she obtained from traveling, and considering she's smart enough to know that our investment portfolio is so solid that it accrues much more than any high yield savings account...

To put that into perspective, my investments have reached $110,000 alone, and I still have $55,000 in my tuition account and may potentially have some left over after graduating. And as for our portfolio, just from May 2025 to May 2026 I gained over $22,000 not including my deposits! So in my mind, she can't have much in savings right? But she just came back from Paris and Amsterdam last month!

Turns out, the university she went to that she begged me to follow her to, only for me to drop out after a year and eventually continue somewhere that is a third of the cost? It completely obliterated everything she had besides that roth IRA. and despite the fact she graduated in 2023, she must be spending almost as much as she earns!

I'm just flabbergasted, honestly, considering the divide and how unexpected it was. My sister has forever been the responsible one of us too, but she always had a habit of constantly buying stuff online growing up, and loves her gucci, supreme, etc. It also doesn't help that she has no experience with money hardship whatsoever. I won't act as if this experience really means much of anything, but I ran away from home at 19 with a boy and disinherited myself for a year, and during that whole year I lived with very little money and security. As in, we couldn't afford to eat so often that I lost 55 lbs by the time i came home and was underweight with a BMI of 17.2, and every day was filled with incredible financial anxiety especially as my abusive ex would steal my money and blow both our income on incredibly stupid shit. I honestly thank the universe every day that it put me through that hell, because I would probably be in a similar position to her.

Anyways, for the youngins, go to community college!! Or at least in-state college with a cheap tuition. Considering the majority of students take out loans, take my sisters story and don't fuck yourself over. Hell, her fiancé went to the same school and took loans and now owes close to $500,000 for a four year experience that is offered for plenty cheaper.

Anyways, thanks for reading!

TL;DR- Sister and I both were gifted enough money to have net worths in the low six figures at this point. While mine is, hers appears to be much lower. Don't go to college out-of-state, and don't procrastinate saving in favor of fun

I know some of you guys are sitting here like "aren't you posting on an anime subreddit?"

The reality is, even if people engage with posts, comment, or even post things themselves, many people don't want to be bothered. As well, messaging every person that interacts with a post about an anime I enjoy is obviously not ideal for anyone involved.

As someone who is fairly new to anime as a whole, and brand new to anime discussion communities, I wanted to ask the more seasoned otakus where the best spaces to find anime friends are without creeping on random posts. I tried a couple discord servers I found organically but I don't understand discord enough to find other anime communities, and the main anime subreddits don't allow posts seeking friends. So instead, I pose a different question: What are the best spaces to meet other fans?

Hi everyone! I want to thank you all in advance for reading this :)

Alright, so my current conundrum is as follows:

I am in a position in life where I now cannot go much longer without job benefits like PTO, holiday pay, and a salary. I make 20.50/hr and considering I now own my own house, I'm going to need a higher income to support myself and my property. I want to apply for other jobs internally, and I want to do it in the best way possible to ensure current job safety if I'm not hired for another position, and to help prepare my department to replace me. The reason why I want to ensure my current job still waits for me is because the odds are stacked against me, as I'm still in college and have no degree to my name, unlike literally all of my coworkers. I shall also mention that there is no role for me to take on in my current department that would be full-time, so I have no choice than to apply to other departments.

After reading the below, I hope that some kind, helpful redditors might have some shining advice for the most diplomatic way to handle this once my current busy season officially comes to a close.

TL;DR - My job treats their employees well, and my position is not easily replaceable by AI or other temporary associates, as I have doubled the efficiency of my role. Regardless, I want to figure out the best way to ensure they don't offload me the moment I imply that, despite having no degree, that I want a full time position.

The Details:

I'm currently working as a temporary associate for a decent sized corporation. For reference, we have about 2,200 locations and revenue is probably around 2.5 billion with maybe 1,000 coworkers in the corporate building amongst many more in remote positions. Despite being a corporate office however, they put a good amount of effort in small ways to make the employees more comfortable. Examples of this include stuff like having no dress code, being allowed to take hour-long paid lunches, arts and crafts breaks, no cameras near desks, no micromanaging, or the freedom to leave a couple hours early maybe two to four times a month whilst still being paid for those hours (since I'm not salaried with no benefits, thats a big one for me!) I recognize that these all can basically amount to the level of effort and consideration of a pizza party, but as a 24 year old who has only ever worked corporate at this location after escaping the customer service industry, its a lot for me! Another thing to mention before I get to the meat of this is that this company predominantly likes to hire internally and tends to retain temps for long periods and try to shoehorn us into full-time positions, to where the "temporary" title starts to mean little. I mention these all predominantly to illustrate their mindset towards their employees in case that colors how you suggest I handle my predicament.

I have been working here as a temporary associate now continuously for 2 years and 4 months, and in total for 2 years and 9 months. This is because my first temporary season, they attempted to shuffle me to our call center after my role was not necessary (they usually hire temps for our busy season), which didn't fit so they called me when another position opened. Since then, I've proven myself a valuable employee and they now swap me between departments and the remaining time they basically pay me to sit around and either do miscellaneous projects, or nothing at all.

I mention that I have proven myself because I think it factors into my dilemma. As AI is starting to replace our need for temporary associates, I'm remaining as the only temporary in my department whose job is not possible to be AI automated. As well, what I do is largely very redundant and time-consuming. When I say I have proven myself, I have quite literally outpaced my coworkers in these specific tasks, to where I can double their productivity. And I'm quite serious actually, during a project handling 1,300 documents I was able to process 750 of them in the time my two colleagues processed 320 and 230 respectively. My coworkers have remarked multiple times that they feel it when I am absent because no one can keep pace and productivity falls behind, which makes me feel as if I may have some power in this consideration. As well, I am the only temporary associate that has worked in this department that has been able to handle the workload so well that they trained me on multiple tasks they normally never trust temps to work on.

All of this is to basically illustrate the circumstances I'm working with, as I'm sure my job can be expected to be more considerate of my position than, say, a call center or a more rigid and cold corporate office. And I'm sure I have slightly more security in my current role than someone who barely meets quota.

So, considering all of this, I must ask: How would you recommend I handle this with my manager to ensure the best outcome? As much as I'm comfortable with how my job treats their employees, I'm afraid that if I make it known I want to apply to other departments that they just scrap me entirely.

Thank you to everyone who read this far!

Hi everyone! I want to thank you all in advance for reading this :)

Alright, so my current conundrum is as follows:

I am in a position in life where I now cannot go much longer without job benefits like PTO, holiday pay, and a salary. I make 20.50/hr and considering I now own my own house, I'm going to need a higher income to support myself and my property. I want to apply for other jobs internally, and I want to do it in the best way possible to ensure current job safety if I'm not hired for another position, and to help prepare my department to replace me. The reason why I want to ensure my current job still waits for me is because the odds are stacked against me, as I'm still in college and have no degree to my name, unlike literally all of my coworkers. I shall also mention that there is no role for me to take on in my current department that would be full-time, so I have no choice than to apply to other departments.

After reading the below, I hope that some kind, helpful redditors might have some shining advice for the most diplomatic way to handle this once my current busy season officially comes to a close.

TL;DR - My job treats their employees well, and my position is not easily replaceable by AI or other temporary associates, as I have doubled the efficiency of my role. Regardless, I want to figure out the best way to ensure they don't offload me the moment I imply that, despite having no degree, that I want a full time position.

The Details:

I'm currently working as a temporary associate for a decent sized corporation. For reference, we have about 2,200 locations and revenue is probably around 2.5 billion with maybe 1,000 coworkers in the corporate building amongst many more in remote positions. Despite being a corporate office however, they put a good amount of effort in small ways to make the employees more comfortable. Examples of this include stuff like having no dress code, being allowed to take hour-long paid lunches, arts and crafts breaks, no cameras near desks, no micromanaging, or the freedom to leave a couple hours early maybe two to four times a month whilst still being paid for those hours (since I'm not salaried with no benefits, thats a big one for me!) I recognize that these all can basically amount to the level of effort and consideration of a pizza party, but as a 24 year old who has only ever worked corporate at this location after escaping the customer service industry, its a lot for me! Another thing to mention before I get to the meat of this is that this company predominantly likes to hire internally and tends to retain temps for long periods and try to shoehorn us into full-time positions, to where the "temporary" title starts to mean little. I mention these all predominantly to illustrate their mindset towards their employees in case that colors how you suggest I handle my predicament.

I have been working here as a temporary associate now continuously for 2 years and 4 months, and in total for 2 years and 9 months. This is because my first temporary season, they attempted to shuffle me to our call center after my role was not necessary (they usually hire temps for our busy season), which didn't fit so they called me when another position opened. Since then, I've proven myself a valuable employee and they now swap me between departments and the remaining time they basically pay me to sit around and either do miscellaneous projects, or nothing at all.

I mention that I have proven myself because I think it factors into my dilemma. As AI is starting to replace our need for temporary associates, I'm remaining as the only temporary in my department whose job is not possible to be AI automated. As well, what I do is largely very redundant and time-consuming. When I say I have proven myself, I have quite literally outpaced my coworkers in these specific tasks, to where I can double their productivity. And I'm quite serious actually, during a project handling 1,300 documents I was able to process 750 of them in the time my two colleagues processed 320 and 230 respectively. My coworkers have remarked multiple times that they feel it when I am absent because no one can keep pace and productivity falls behind, which makes me feel as if I may have some power in this consideration. As well, I am the only temporary associate that has worked in this department that has been able to handle the workload so well that they trained me on multiple tasks they normally never trust temps to work on.

All of this is to basically illustrate the circumstances I'm working with, as I'm sure my job can be expected to be more considerate of my position than, say, a call center or a more rigid and cold corporate office. And I'm sure I have slightly more security in my current role than someone who barely meets quota.

So, considering all of this, I must ask: How would you recommend I handle this with my manager to ensure the best outcome? As much as I'm comfortable with how my job treats their employees, I'm afraid that if I make it known I want to apply to other departments that they just scrap me entirely.

Thank you to everyone who read this far!

I'm going to apologize in advance, as I'm currently grappling with a development that is already quite depressing whilst concurrently stuck in a depressive episode; so although my post is going to drip with more self-pity and self-loathing than I'm comfortable with, I have nowhere else to turn and too many ugly thoughts to keep inside.

I've had a handful occurrences, both throughout life and ones I'm currently experiencing, that have recently built to a level that spurred some hefty realizations about my value as a person that have obliterated my self-esteem and self-worth.

To sum it up, I have been reminded throughout life that as an individual or as a personality, I am unbearable to be around at best, and not a good person or a person of value outside of what I am wiling to offer. And contrary to the vibe of this post, its not because I'm some consistently self-deprecating idiot that is pushing people away. My best guess would be that I might possibly be autistic, but the culprits involved would be things such as my social obliviousness, my incessant yapping, and my self-absorption. Simply, I wish I could say I was exaggerating when I say the vast majority of people I interact with (I'd estimate like, 97-98%) will either come to dislike me immediately upon first impression, or gradually grow in their distaste towards me.

My family tolerates me at best, I struggle keeping friends for very long, and the friends I do keep, really only value what I provide to them. For example, my birthday was a couple of weeks ago and of my three close friends: one didnt wish me a happy birthday at all, one didnt care to do anything together to celebrate, and the one friend i made plans with canceled two nights beforehand. For these very same friends birthdays within the past year, I: broke the bank to buy an extravagant gift for the friend who forgot because they were unable to celebrate with me until they came back from abroad, booked an airbnb and gathered the close friends of the friend who didn't care to celebrate with me, and drove 2 hours to pick up a strange man that my friend who canceled wanted to hook up with after her party.

This past birthday devastated me and made it impossible to ignore that I overestimated my worth as a person, and I only have value to people around me when I overextend myself and become a glorified ornament, as these same friends (and family) criticize the amount which I speak, the contents, and I have been told many times that I "talk to hear myself talk" and "you're prettier when you're quiet."

I know this sludge is just all a bunch of whiny unbearable self-pitying, but I already don't speak to my friends about my feelings as they tend to be mowed over, ignored, or criticized, so it's been brewing with no outlet for a long while. Basically, I'm struggling to figure out how to navigate these realizations that:

1. My true self is fundamentally unlikable,

2. The only way I will obtain value is through changing parts of me that feel intrinsic to me (namely, my talking. Its unfortunately one of the few things that genuinely makes me happy)

3. i have to essentially train myself to cleanse my speaking to remove any traces of myself, including learning to never share my thoughts, emotions, or opinions and basically only speak when spoken to, or when socially necessary in order to have any chance of becoming a person people could like

4. even if i change these parts of me, its likely that I will continue to only have value to people around me by overextending myself and expecting nothing in return

I can't escape this depression loop of feeling so worthless and yet feeling like nothing I do will change it. I can't escape this feeling that I will never have value and that my best chance is to essentially become an NPC in my own life. How do I just get over it and cope with this? Its honestly made me hate myself more than I ever have, and It's led me to legitimately contemplate if I have any reason to remain on this earth if i have to fight every day to prove that I matter to the people who tell me the care about me more than anyone else

I'm going to apologize in advance, as I'm currently grappling with a development that is already quite depressing whilst concurrently stuck in a depressive episode; so although my post is going to drip with more self-pity and self-loathing than I'm comfortable with, I have nowhere else to turn and too many ugly thoughts to keep inside.

I've had a handful occurrences, both throughout life and ones I'm currently experiencing, that have recently built to a level that spurred some hefty realizations about my value as a person that have obliterated my self-esteem and self-worth.

To sum it up, I have been reminded throughout life that as an individual or as a personality, I am unbearable to be around at best, and not a good person or a person of value outside of what I am wiling to offer. And contrary to the vibe of this post, its not because I'm some consistently self-deprecating idiot that is pushing people away. My best guess would be that I might possibly be autistic, but the culprits involved would be things such as my social obliviousness, my incessant yapping, and my self-absorption. Simply, I wish I could say I was exaggerating when I say the vast majority of people I interact with (I'd estimate like, 97-98%) will either come to dislike me immediately upon first impression, or gradually grow in their distaste towards me.

My family tolerates me at best, I struggle keeping friends for very long, and the friends I do keep, really only value what I provide to them. For example, my birthday was a couple of weeks ago and of my three close friends: one didnt wish me a happy birthday at all, one didnt care to do anything together to celebrate, and the one friend i made plans with canceled two nights beforehand. For these very same friends birthdays within the past year, I: broke the bank to buy an extravagant gift for the friend who forgot because they were unable to celebrate with me until they came back from abroad, booked an airbnb and gathered the close friends of the friend who didn't care to celebrate with me, and drove 2 hours to pick up a strange man that my friend who canceled wanted to hook up with after her party.

This past birthday devastated me and made it impossible to ignore that I overestimated my worth as a person, and I only have value to people around me when I overextend myself and become a glorified ornament, as these same friends (and family) criticize the amount which I speak, the contents, and I have been told many times that I "talk to hear myself talk" and "you're prettier when you're quiet."

I know this sludge is just all a bunch of whiny unbearable self-pitying, but I already don't speak to my friends about my feelings as they tend to be mowed over, ignored, or criticized, so it's been brewing with no outlet for a long while. Basically, I'm struggling to figure out how to navigate these realizations that:

1. My true self is fundamentally unlikable,

2. The only way I will obtain value is through changing parts of me that feel intrinsic to me (namely, my talking. Its unfortunately one of the few things that genuinely makes me happy)

3. i have to essentially train myself to cleanse my speaking to remove any traces of myself, including learning to never share my thoughts, emotions, or opinions and basically only speak when spoken to, or when socially necessary in order to have any chance of becoming a person people could like

4. even if i change these parts of me, its likely that I will continue to only have value to people around me by overextending myself and expecting nothing in return

I can't escape this depression loop of feeling so worthless and yet feeling like nothing I do will change it. I can't escape this feeling that I will never have value and that my best chance is to essentially become an NPC in my own life. How do I just get over it and cope with this? Its honestly made me hate myself more than I ever have, and It's led me to legitimately contemplate if I have any reason to remain on this earth if i have to fight every day to prove that I matter to the people who tell me the care about me more than anyone else

Long story short, I struggle with anorgasmia (the struggle or inability to orgasm). To illustrate my situation, it took about 7 years from when I started self-pleasuring until I was able to achieve an orgasm \\\*of my own manipulation.\\\* I've heard plenty about women who struggle to orgasm during intercourse but to this day, despite boatloads of research, forum posts, etc. I have never met a woman with my level of insensitivity to where orgasm was that elusive, let alone for the duration I experienced it.

Despite finally reaching a point where I could achieve orgasm while solo, it's become unfortunately obvious that I will never experience an orgasm from any sexual activity I engage in with another. I've come to this conclusion because the only two (and a half?) ways I have been able to discover where I could orgasm are fundamentally impossible to apply during sex. the first one simply enough, requires a powerful jet stream from a shower head, specifically at concerning levels of heat, as well as penetration that simultaneously puts pressure on the anterior and posterior walls of my vagina. obviously not an easy thing to replicate in bed haha! the only other way involves a very powerful vibrator (think hitachi), applied with intense pressure (requires both hands to apply appropriate pressure, and the force is enough to break my vibrators roughly every 6 months) and it cannot work without complete stillness. this is just not possible for me during sex, as my boyfriend and I have attempted penetration on several occasions while using my vibrator to no avail. And honestly, I've come to believe that even if the stars aligned, it would still be fundamentally impossible because of the duration of time and focus it requires of me to orgasm normally. my typical masturbation session can last upwards of an hour without orgasm unless the circumstances are ideal.

Despite always struggling with climaxing, I always held out hope that it would eventually happen with a partner. My partner also hopes that eventually he can satisfy me to that level, though he knows it has nothing to do with his performance being amiss and everything to do with me and my body. I think I have to finally abandon that hope and come to terms with my unique situation and that I will never have a truly fulfilling sexual experience with someone I love, and that I will forever be excluded from that universal human experience. Hell, when I tell close friends or partners they quite literally always pity me. How can I go forward without self-pity, or without grief? I've been grappling with this situation since I was roughly 13 years old, and now at 24 I still haven't been able to accept the let down.

Thank you to all who read this far

Long story short, I struggle with anorgasmia (the struggle or inability to orgasm). To illustrate my situation, it took about 7 years from when I started self-pleasuring until I was able to achieve an orgasm \*of my own manipulation.\* I've heard plenty about women who struggle to orgasm during intercourse but to this day, despite boatloads of research, forum posts, etc. I have never met a woman with my level of insensitivity to where orgasm was that elusive, let alone for the duration I experienced it.

Despite finally reaching a point where I could achieve orgasm while solo, it's become unfortunately obvious that I will never experience an orgasm from any sexual activity I engage in with another. I've come to this conclusion because the only two (and a half?) ways I have been able to discover where I could orgasm are fundamentally impossible to apply during sex. the first one simply enough, requires a powerful jet stream from a shower head, specifically at concerning levels of heat, as well as penetration that simultaneously puts pressure on the anterior and posterior walls of my vagina. obviously not an easy thing to replicate in bed haha! the only other way involves a very powerful vibrator (think hitachi), applied with intense pressure (requires both hands to apply appropriate pressure, and the force is enough to break my vibrators roughly every 6 months) and it cannot work without complete stillness. this is just not possible for me during sex, as my boyfriend and I have attempted penetration on several occasions while using my vibrator to no avail. And honestly, I've come to believe that even if the stars aligned, it would still be fundamentally impossible because of the duration of time and focus it requires of me to orgasm normally. my typical masturbation session can last upwards of an hour without orgasm unless the circumstances are ideal.

Despite always struggling with climaxing, I always held out hope that it would eventually happen with a partner. My partner also hopes that eventually he can satisfy me to that level, though he knows it has nothing to do with his performance being amiss and everything to do with me and my body. I think I have to finally abandon that hope and come to terms with my unique situation and that I will never have a truly fulfilling sexual experience with someone I love, and that I will forever be excluded from that universal human experience. Hell, when I tell close friends or partners they quite literally always pity me. How can I go forward without self-pity, or without grief? I've been grappling with this situation since I was roughly 13 years old, and now at 24 I still haven't been able to accept the let down.

Thank you to all who read this far