u/artstronautss

Wanting to start DJing, I plan on playing mainly for house parties or small groups, but open to gigs in the future. I found a used pair of SRM 450s V2 for $600 CAD, but wondering if it’s worth it to splurge on the DBR10/12s for double the price ($1200 if I go for a pair of DBR12s).

Is it worth to pay so much more for the DBRs or should the SRM450s suffice?

For context, my bf and I were on a break for about a month due to some underlying issues. Him and his coworkers who are now his close friends organized a Tolkien-inspired elven party during this time. He knows I’m super passionate about Tolkien (read all his books as a teen and we regularly discussed our passion for his works) and initially invited me to come the first time we got back together.

But things went south and we had an argument that almost broke us up again a few days after we got back after the break. He opened up about this to a few friends including a close female friend of his, who he’s probably the closest to outside of the relationship. We eventually worked things out again and things have been steady, but because of him opening up about our relationship issues to this female friend, who’s one of the main planners of the party, he tells me that he needs to talk about it with her first to gauge if she’s comfortable.

The thing is she’s not even the host of the event, just one of the main planners. He says she can be stubborn and might be super particular about how smoothly the event goes, which means she’d want no drama whatsoever. I asked what would be the case if she were to reject my attendance, and he said that I’d have to respect her wishes and that he’s not going to force her into me coming. He also said he’s not going to just drop going to the event or sulk about me not being there, as it was planned during our break without my involvement so I ultimately don’t have a say.

I’m feeling a bit weird about the situation because I don’t know why my attendance needs to be dictated by the needs of a single person, especially considering that he’s inviting all his other friends and knows I’d be really into an event like this. Is it justified for him to be concerned for his friend’s feelings that our relationship might get in the way of the party going well?

For context, I recently graduated with BSc in psyc and have been job hunting for a while. I’m mainly interested in medical related fields, but from my mass applications I was able to land an interview for a research position at a labour union. The problem is, it’s only 8-week long position, and the research will be predominantly on analyzing collective bargaining and worker benefits. This is a field I’m not familiar with, and also have little interest in. However, the pay is pretty good (23 CAD/hour), which is the main motivating factor, on top of its potential benefit to my resume (I currently have no work experience other than my honours thesis I did during my studies and another research lab I participated in on the side).

Though I’m not even sure if it’s worthy for resume experience as it will only be 8 weeks. I also wanted to spend this summer studying for acceptance into a nuclear medicine program. At this point I’m debating whether to cancel the interview, even if it means I’ll be stuck at the retail position I’m currently in for the summer. As my interest is predominantly in medicine, I’m wondering if it would just be more worthwhile to spend this summer studying and volunteering in hospitals rather than engage in a job that feels irrelevant to my future career plans.

For context, I recently graduated with BSc in psyc and have been job hunting for a while. I’m mainly interested in medical related fields, but from my mass applications I was able to land an interview for a research position at a labour union. The problem is, it’s only 8-week long position, and the research will be predominantly on analyzing collective bargaining and worker benefits. This is a field I’m not familiar with, and also have little interest in. However, the pay is pretty good (23 CAD/hour), which is the main motivating factor, on top of its potential benefit to my resume (I currently have no work experience other than my honours thesis I did during my studies and another research lab I participated in on the side).

Though I’m not even sure if it’s worthy for resume experience as it will only be 8 weeks. I also wanted to spend this summer studying for acceptance into a nuclear medicine program. At this point I’m debating whether to cancel the interview, even if it means I’ll be stuck at the retail position I’m currently in for the summer. As my interest is predominantly in medicine, I’m wondering if it would just be more worthwhile to spend this summer studying and volunteering in hospitals rather than engage in a job that feels irrelevant to my future career plans.

My whole life since I was 12 has been in isolation. My parents and I moved towns almost every year and it took a toll on my ability to make consistent friends.

I was so full of energy and extroverted as a child, but it suddenly diminished when I reached middle school. Even though I was able to adapt easily in elementary school despite moving a bunch, I found myself incredibly quiet and anxious of others when I moved to a new town after I turned 12.

I started getting bullied pretty bad. It didn’t help I was one of the only Asian Americans in a rural town. What also didn’t help was that I had no siblings and no connection with my family outside of my parents. On top of my parents being introverted, I never experienced family gatherings, no family friends over at the house. It was just me, and my parents.

Then my mom started developing extreme paranoia to the point we couldn’t go out anywhere without her lashing out at people in public. She would drill into my head about how people aren’t to be trusted, how anyone can be a potential threat, and how hateful the world is. She’d go into full manic episodes, sometimes carrying a knife and walking down the street while screaming obscenities at people, and had to be taken to a psych ward a few times. This probably had the biggest toll on my wariness of others.

I’m now 25. I’ve found comfort in the security of relationships, and as soon as I turned 18 I’ve resorted to dating apps to ease my loneliness. Hopping from one relationship to another, without ever feeling fully satisfied. I’m terrified of other women, as a lot of my bullying was received by the girls in my class, despite wanting nothing more than other girlfriends. Every time I’ve begun to develop the potential for a female friendship they’ve cut contact. Whether it’s because they see right through my anxiety and inability to connect with them, or because I just don’t know the social mechanisms that operate behind these kind of platonic friendships, I don’t know.

Romantic relationships are easy enough to achieve, as an average woman generally finds on a dating app that’s predominantly filled with desperate men. It’s easy to find social solace this way, even if in many circumstances it’s not genuine. But every relationship I’ve been in where I open up about my loneliness ends up with a whole slew of issues, from using my insecurities against me to mocking my inability to connect. I think my loneliness allows others to feel elated in themselves in seeing someone in such a pathetic state.

I wish my heart didn’t pound anytime a stranger sparked up a conversation in public. I wish I wasn’t incapable of not being able to look anyone in the eye when I walked past them. I wish I didn’t go into social situations expecting something negative to happen, or the mindset that everywhere I go there’s hostility towards me. Even when I do try, and I do talk to people, I find myself catering so much to what I think they’ll desire from me that I act entirely disingenuous.

I feel incredibly hopeless. I desperately know I need to reach out, but every time I try I can’t rid myself of this anxiety. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried medication. Benzodiazepines are the only thing that makes any notable impact, but after seeing how its addiction has borderline ruined my father, I know I can’t rely on them. I lay awake every night knowing that each passing day is another lost opportunity.

I went through the entirety of my undergrad for 6 years not speaking to anyone, not even making any acquaintances. People would avoid me as much as they could. They could tell I was too anxious to even talk to them normally, and left me alone. I’m fucking sick of living like this. All I feel is fear and anger when I’m engaging with people. I so desperately want out of this hell.