u/autistichalsin

My mom has started getting into those "my child abandoned me waaah :( " groups on Facebook and it's hilarious because it's the same two posts repeated infinite times.

1. My child abandoned me for NO REASON and gave me NO CHANCE to fix it. This is cruel. The pain is literally worse than dying. I can't believe my own child would do this to me.

2. I wasn't cut off by my child, I decided their absence was less painful than their disrespect! I walked away from a spoiled child who tried to put boundaries on ME, the PARENT! I don't need them!

This isn't even the Goomba Fallacy here. It literally gets shared by the same people agreeing every time, even when the OP is different (and sometimes it's the same OP too!)

Which are they, BRAVE warriors who chose to PUT THEIR CHILD IN THEIR PLACE forEVER and ever, or are they said innocent victims who were tragically abandoned by the child they selflessly spent 18 years psychologically damaging?

IE you finally cut them off because they have never shown an interest in you, your hobbies, or your achievements, but what they took from it is "they cut me off because I missed one of their baseball games!"

For me it's, the last straw was cutting my mom off because I finally realized she was never going to hold me in equal regard to my sister and was never going to expect me and those around me to drop everything to set ourselves on fire to keep my sister warm... to my mom she got blocked because she refused to go to family therapy with me, which I of course demanded for no reason at all. Definitely not because I was hurting and needed help.

Your anger at your E parent(s) keeps you safe. If you were abused or neglected, it keeps you safe from going back to a dangerous situation where you could be hurt again. Even if there was no abuse at all whatsoever, it keeps you safe from being manipulated by a genuinely unpleasant person.

Your anger at them protects you, just like a child's aversion to bitter flavors keeps them from eating poison. Your anger protects you from poisonous people. Your anger at what happened to you reminds you that you were hurt, that you don't deserve to be hurt, and that no one should be able to hurt you again after they did it once.

Your anger keeps you safe. Don't let anyone tell you your lack of forgiveness is hurting you, that it's like holding on to flames and hoping the other person gets burned. That's not for cases of abuse or other harm.

Keep your anger.

My mom used to drink and be terribly abusive. She developed a huge victim complex around counseling because one counselor dropped her for chronically being late and no-showing, and another developed severe health issues that caused him to be forced to drop half his patient load.

My mom and I have been on awful terms for a while, and I finally told her it's either family therapy or we go no contact. She sent me an email where, among other things, she had this to say about counseling:

I told you several, several times I would never, ever again let anyone hurt me like that again. [OP's note: by "hurt me" she means firing her as a client]

So what did you do?

Picked the one thing you know I cannot and will not do.

How would you feel if dad told you sure, [OP's name] honey, sure I’d love to meet with you somewhere! But I’m only willing to meet you in a bar.

While everyone is drunk.

You’d be livid. It would trigger every single alarm bell and bad memory you have.

That’s exactly what you’re doing to me by telling me I either open myself up to knowingly be hurt again by demanding I go to counseling OR ELSE. [OP's note: the OR ELSE refers to me cutting her off for good]

So in her eyes, because she doesn't like counseling, that's equivalent to the trauma of me being around drunk people... okay.

The irony is I actually am okay being around bars and alcohol now that I don't have her hitting me every time she gets drunk. It took years of work in... you guessed it... therapy. 😂 Shows how well she knows her own now-permanently-estranged adult child, I guess! 😂

Hugging Tokage and having a cup of tea with him would fix me TBH.

Can't believe how few discussions of pregnant Halsin are on this sub. The guy who loves taking care of children? Who dreams of having a family? Plus, his build would make pregnancy a breeze for him too. He would constantly laugh about how Silvanus blessed him in so many ways. TBH he'd probably interrupt sex times to pray to Silvanus to get pregnant from it. YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT.

I think Halsin's skill gets overlooked because it's repeatedly shown that his main skill is in healing instead of in combat. It's easy to identify Jaheira as a powerful Druid because she kicks ass, but when it comes to healing, Halsin is shown as leaps and bounds above every other character in the game.

For example: Jaheira has to use another tadpole to identify the player as infected. Halsin, meanwhile, casually strolls up and uses a spell no one else is ever seen using (giving a high likelihood HE INVENTED IT HIMSELF) to diagnose your infection within seconds.

Halsin is renowned across the land for his healing abilities, to the point that EVERYONE in the Grove says "man, it's a shame he's gone, he'd cure you in seconds." (And in fact, if it wasn't for the magic on the tadpoles, he would have.) And how about the fact that he is one of the only ones to be able to identify that there's magic binding the tadpoles to you, something that even Gale, a genius, can't figure out? The only ones to see it are Omeluum (a mindflayer himself), Ethel (a hag), Halsin, and the Emperor (who was kinda involved in the whole thing to begin with).

His stuff in the Grove shows he is highly intelligent and studious; he makes anatomical sketches of both the tadpole and the Drow it infected, with observations. He is able to infer, from the lack of signs of ceremorphosis on that cadaver, that the tadpole had been altered. While others are like "huh, new tadpoles, odd" he's like "well, I'd better conduct a scientific experiment to figure out why." And while he didn't succeed in finding out the why at first, just him figuring out there was something different with the tadpole itself puts him leagues above most others.

There's other hints in Durge playthroughs too: he tells you that if he had time and some other Druids to help conduct the research, he would be able to find out why you lost your memory and etc, but because he has to focus on your tadpole infection, you have to wait. He's notably the ONLY companion who understands exactly what Durge is getting at when they mention their murderous Urge; the others joke about it, or treat it as just bloodlust that can be willingly redirected at enemies. Halsin's the only one who understands the seriousness, and that Durge literally means an uncontrollable compulsion. He also does something absolutely RADICAL for a medical professional (source: I have chronic illnesses) and listens to Durge when they talk about their symptoms. He says he believes them when they say they don't think their problems are solely because of the parasite. He believes Durge knows themself best. That's something that's rare for doctors in OUR world, let alone this one.

Oh, and then there's one of Halsin's most powerful feats of non-healing Druidic magic, which is opening that portal to the Shadowfell and finding Thaniel based solely on Art saying he could smell lavender when he was near Thaniel. That isn't an ability of Thaniel's (or else Halsin would have known it already). So he found a place smelling of lavender in literally less than 30 seconds (a turn in DND is 6 seconds, he was in and out of the portal in 5), managed not to get killed by any Shadow beings, scooped up Thaniel, AND found his way back to the portal in 30 SECONDS. And again, opening the portal up, in and of itself, is a big deal. And there's heavy implications (Halsin talking about seeking favor with Silvanus) that that magic was given to him by Silvanus HIMSELF. Meaning Halsin is not only powerful, but he managed to become a favorite of Silvanus with his sheer devotion to Druidic ideals (and determination to fix the Shadow Curse when everyone else, even the Emerald Enclave, gave up on it).

I know everyone likes to shit on him because he rarely shows his skills during combat, and because he wasn't really suited for leadership, but like, the game is pretty loud and clear about where Halsin's skills and powers rank compared to others- and he's very clearly one of the most intelligent and powerful characters in the entire game.

Shocked Pikachu face

I got a cystoscopy done partially because my gynecologist wondered about endometriosis, and partially because i've had periods of time where I would briefly find a drop of blood on my tissue after urinating. We did it today and on top of being excruciatingly painful for me, we really didn't find anything useful. The doc found one red spot they said could either be endo or something related to a blood vessel, the word of which escapes me at the moment. They're going to send the pic over to my gynecologist to get her opinion on endo/not endo. I feel so defeated and like I went through a ton of shit for nothing.

I graduated two years ago and was sent emails I would lose access on May 15th. I am down to a few hundred emails to sort through and planned to finish that this week. However, I just now got a message that my account had been disabled and I would no longer be able to sign in. Is there a way IT can restore my access until the date I was told I'd lose access? It seems very unfair for them to say one date and then do it a week earlier than that.

Obviously we can't know for sure as none of them exactly recorded their thoughts. But what would the most likely point have been? When hydraulics were lost and the Master Alarm sounded? Before then? At the moment the breakup happened?

I've had what you might call light brain fog before, but this week it's been something else. I'm also having the worst endo flare of my life. The fog has been so bad that when I was at physical therapy for an ankle issue and she was asking me questions, I couldn't remember the next letter of the alphabet (for a foot exercise) for a few seconds after I was done answering her question 😭 Can anyone else relate?

Once you realize you're dealing with a perpetual teenager, it is both enlightening and frustrating.

Enlightening because you finally understand why they do this and that they'll never change... but frustrating because THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE. They will never grow up. They aren't interested in talking to you like an adult because they aren't an adult. And nothing will ever change. You will continue to grow and learn and change, and they won't. It's so frustrating.