Why am I reluctant to connect with others?
From what I understand about astrology, my chart looks like I’d be a very fun, outgoing, sociable person, but I don’t feel that way. I want to have a rich social life and make meaningful connections, I think I have interesting ideas, and that I’m creative and funny, and I love engaging in conversations. But I’ve always felt very socially anxious, constantly fixated on how I am perceived. I love the concept of community, but everywhere I go, I struggle to feel as though I belong, and I fear that people pretend to like me but actually don’t. I’m very sensitive to rejection so it’s possible I look too deeply into subtle shifts in others, and I internalize that. I have a handful of long lasting friendships, I am close with some family members as well, but even with my innermost circle, I can’t really feel at ease. I’m always suspicious that others are suspicious of me. A lot of what I’ve learned about astrology describes me as someone I want to be, but feel I am not. Do any of my placements indicate why that is? What stands out in my chart that I could reflect on? Where will I find a sense of belonging?