u/basedbimbo420

over 3 psychiatrists, they keep prescribing me this over the past 3 years. i feel nothingness from it, many on this subreddit says it’s “lifesaving” but i literally have never noticed the effects of it over the years. they keep prescribing it to me, i’m on 200mg now, when i express my disinterest, it’s always just wait and see. I just got upped to 200mg 3weeks ago n same thing. ik it takes like 3 months to feel something but i’ve literally had been on it for a year last time and felt nothing. most i feel is flat and uninterested.

Has anyone else not have lamictal work for them, if so what worked?

i’m also getting bloodwork done to determine what works for me.

over 3 psychiatrists, they keep prescribing me this over the past 3 years. i feel nothingness from it, many on this subreddit says it’s “lifesaving” but i literally have never noticed the effects of it over the years. they keep prescribing it to me, i’m on 200mg now, when i express my disinterest, it’s always just wait and see. I just got upped to 200mg 3weeks ago n same thing. ik it takes like 3 months to feel something but i’ve literally had been on it for a year last time and felt nothing. most i feel is flat and uninterested.

Has anyone else not have lamictal work for them, if so what worked?

i’m also getting bloodwork done to determine what works for me.

a common argument against suicide is that “it’s wrongs because think about how it will affect those who love you”. which i agree it’s very sad but, i’ve always viewed it as the person going out on their own terms. i have a family member that i supect killed themselves, my family was distraught. I however, felt fine, that’s how he wanted to leave. clearly it was getting to overwhelming for him. idk if depression has eroded my sympathy.

Wouldn’t it be unethical to live for others? if a person it at their wits end and the human condition is too much and are ready to go, forcing them to stay alive for your own happiness feels wrong. if you love someone, you’d let them go. what am i supposed to do be dancing monkey for my family so they can stay happy. i’m not even happy, why live for others, who i barely even like?

i don’t want to hear the whole just “live for yourself” because i have no interest in living. everyday it feels like pulling teeth.

This is weird question but one of my ways of self harming, is beating myself with a 10lb weight until bruises appear. usually my stomach and upper thighs/outer hips. i do it consistently to my left side l however, I noticed that my hip on the left has kinda changed(?)

instead of a curve, there’s a hip dip on my left now. i finally noticed how my body is no longer symmetrical. Can beating yourself cause depressions in the body? will it go back to normal?

ty!