u/bbunny1996

I got "roasted" in another reddit forum for asking this question... But... I'm a huge people pleaser, so this has been eating me alive and I need to know if I messed up.

We have a small staff of about 25 and out of all of us, five (including me) are considered more "qualified" to handle certain tasks. Today I was in the middle of prepping for an event I had planned when a coworker came directly to me and asked me to assist someone. She didn't check with anyone else first — just came straight to me, which happens constantly. I asked if any of the other three qualified people were available, and that's when she checked and told me one was on break and another was busy. So there was me and one other person who was also available.

To be fair, my desk is closer than the other person's. But we have phones and extensions — it's not like she couldn't have reached them... And I was on a tight timeline while the other person had nothing urgent going on.

I helped the person anyway because I can't say no. When I got back, my coworker apologized to me. I said it was okay, but then I added that sometimes it's frustrating because I feel like people forget I'm not the ONLY person who works here and I am always asked, not Person A, B or C. It is always me. I tried to say it gently, but I could tell it upset some of my coworkers. They immediately changed their tone and haven't spoken much to me since.

Now I'm sitting here wondering if I should have just kept my mouth shut (especially since other reddit commenters were saying I am "entitled" and an "asshole"). But I know I'm the one they always come to, and I know I should probably take it as a compliment... but... I'm exhausted. And I had to say it. I always say yes, and I think they've just come to expect it. The second I said one mildly honest thing, the whole vibe shifted.

So... is it okay of me for telling my coworkers they should stop ONLY asking me? How do you handle saying "No" in the future when you are busy and there is someone else who can help? How do you NOT "feel bad" for saying "No"?

I work in a public facing role that involves a lot of social and tech assistance .... it's a very help heavy job. We have a small staff, and out of all of us, five (including me) are considered more qualified to handle certain tasks. Today I was preparing for an event I had planned when a coworker came to me and asked me to assist someone. I asked if one of the other three qualified people was available. She said one was on break and the other was busy. That left me and one other person who was also available.

To be fair, my desk is closer to this coworker than the other available person's desk is. But we have extensions and phone numbers — it's not like she couldn't reach them. And I was in the middle of prepping for an event with limited time, while the other available person didn't have anything urgent going on.

I ended up helping the person anyway. When I got back to my office, my coworker apologized to me. I said it was okay, but I also mentioned that sometimes it's frustrating because I feel like people forget I'm not the only person who works here.

I know that upset some of my coworkers — they immediately changed their tone and haven't spoken to me since. But honestly, it IS frustrating. I'm always the one being asked to help, while the other "more qualified" people rarely get called on. It's always me. I know I should take it as a compliment, but it's draining.

So... AITAH for telling my coworkers they should stop only asking me?

Like the title says… I have a 13 week old male kitten who I believe is suffering from severe separation anxiety.

He is neutered.

Whenever I leave he cries and cries and cries. When I get home there is always a surprise behind the door (or elsewhere— but commonly behind the door).

I have tried all the cleaners. I have been using natures miracle since I understand I need to break down the enzymes. Started with white bottle now I am using the red one. Prior to this I was using scouts honor.

I have mopped and sprayed. I let it sit the full 15 minutes, sometimes longer. I have blocked off the area but then he will pee in front of the blocked spot.

I have cleaned the walls up and down. Cleaned the door. Cleaned corners. Cleaned where I know he hasn’t peed but cleaned it anyway.

All I smell is the natures miracle smell.

He has 3 litter boxes available and pees and poops normally otherwise and knows where they are and they are all low and he gets in no problem.

It’s literally only when I leave or he can’t find me he will pee outside the box.

((He has a vet apt next week to rule out a medical issue… but I really don’t think it’s that. I think it’s behavioral.))

Anyway— the other things I’ve done:

When I leave I have tried all sorts of sounds and music from the tv. Classical. Purring. Synth-wave. Cat tv. Dog tv.

I purchased him a snuggle kitty heartbeat anti anxiety reducer pal.

He has my other cat to keep him company.

I have stimulation toys. Catnip. Toys galore.

I clean all my laundry with arm and hammer and natures miracle enzyme to break down. I have done so much laundry.

I have thrown out new toys that got pee on them to stop it.

I have tried everything and it keeps happening.

The only thing I HAVENT tried is feliway or Jackson galaxy separation anxiety drops. I am fearful they may just be a gimmick or not healthy for my kitten… some people are saying it makes their cats REALLY sick…

I have reached out to his foster and she says she thinks he’ll grow out of it… but I fear he may not.

Has anyone else dealt with this? Or tried feliway?

Not asking med advice. Asking opinion on product.

What is the difference between the red vs white bottle/which one has worked better in your experience? I used the white one yesterday (literally the entire bottle) and it did nothing to stop my male cat from peeing. I bought the red today so fingers crossed…. In the meantime yes I have changed litter and yes I have moved a 2nd litter box into the room. And cat also has vet next week.

Also curious what this “smell” is everyone is talking about. I definitely notice a smell but I wouldn’t say it’s “bad”… I keep getting whiffs of syrup or something… I don’t know if it’s related or not— lol.

I’m dealing with a situation involving a registered community cat colony under a local TNR/colony caregiver program and I’m trying to understand how typical this is elsewhere....

So we have a cat colony at my worksite... have had them for years now. These cats were originally TNVR’d years ago (about 6 years back) and were vaccinated at that time. Recently, I was informed from my town that I need to "re-trap" and "update rabies vaccinations" for them as part of continuing "compliance" with the program...

The issue is that this is a free-roaming colony, and re-trapping is extremely difficult but most importantly stressful for the cats.... I’ve only been able to safely recapture ONE cat so far, and realistically it may not be possible to get all of them again (about 9) without causing a lot of stress and disruption to the colony...

What’s frustrating is that from what I understood, rabies vaccines in cats are generally considered effective for multiple years depending on the vaccine, and in many places TNR colonies aren’t routinely re-trapped unless there’s a specific health concern or bite exposure.....

So I’m trying to figure out if routine re-trapping and re-vaccinating already-TNR’d community cats standard practice where you live?? Is this usually enforced through local ordinance, or is it more flexible in other areas?? What happens in situations where re-trapping the entire colony just isn’t realistically possible?

It feels a bit unnecessary and counterproductive, especially given the stress and risk involved in repeated trapping of already-established community cats... I’m just trying to understand if this is normal policy or if this is an unusually strict interpretation of TNVR management from this crappy town... lol.

Would really appreciate hearing how other communities handle this.

I just started reading a new series (Lucky River Ranch) and often times I avoid series because I struggle with remembering... If I start a series and read a few and then read another book unrelated to the series (because sometimes you just want to break away from the series and read something else or you have to wait for the next one to publish...), by the time I get to the next book in the series, I forget everything important. I forget who is friends with that person, which one is related to that one, what was the drama between so and so, how did this person become that, blah blah blah, etc etc etc... I was looking into reading journals but they're all the standard ones you see on Amazon where it's basically just a rating and only 3 lines to write your thoughts... essentially only keeping track of the book you read and overall thoughts. I am looking for something that is specifically geared toward SERIES and remembering character, relationships, plot points, etc. At this point I'll likely just need to buy a blank notebook.. but I was curious if anyone knew of a specific type journal that DOES track this or how YOU track it? Thanks so much!

I was passed down my grandmother’s 1993 Faberware English garden plate, bowl and cup set… has anyone ever tested these for lead? Based on my research, it was “out ruled” in 1978 but still could’ve been used well into the 90s…? Has anyone ever tested the specific style?

I remember going to her house and using these plates to eat all the time growing up.