u/besttavern25

Currently flying with a CJ4 now and I’m told you can make approaches and landing easier with the ILS landing. However whenever go to try and select in the FMS, it doesn’t show one. I assume this is because the airport I’m flying into does support it? In career mode, I know most of the missions for the cj4 usually has you flying into smaller rural airports so I assume there don’t have an ILS or localizer.

This is a follow up to a previous post I made.

Here’s the short version. My friend Liz is having a baby shower for her upcoming baby. She had asked me to contribute with a cake among other things that would’ve cost me nearly $500 altogether. Well after an argument over an unrelated matter, she told me that she didn’t want me to contribute anymore as she didn’t want anyone to “throw it back in my face”. I didn’t argue back and we hadn’t spoken since.

Well as I’ve sorta predicted she has now apologized as said she’s been stressed over her pregnancy, her other daughter’s health and the possibility of having to find a new job. She is now asking if I would be willing to contribute to the baby shower again but I said no as I no longer have money set aside for this request (I technically do but that would require me to use some savings) and she needs to learn that she can’t act the way she did and then expect them to just forgive them.

Liz argues now that she’s apologized so what was the matter now. She says you don’t promise to contribute then refuse when the time comes. I reminded Liz that she was the one that relieved me of those duties but she was sorry so now I’m being a jerk by refusing to help now.

Liz explains that a deposit needs to be placed by the baker by Monday or the order will be cancelled or an “expedite” fee will be added if she asks for the cake after Monday. I still refuse.

Liz gives up but emphasizes that if she can’t get this cake and all the items I had promised to donate for the shower then she will likely have to cancel the whole event and it’s going to be on “my conscience” since many other friends and family have set aside time and resources as well but that cake is the center piece.

Am I wrong for refusing to help again even after Liz has apologized. What should I do?

Years ago I worked at my family owned Thai and American restaurant. It was a small 40 seat place and was run very much like a mom n pop shop. I left years ago and the restaurant was sold two years after that. Ask me anything.

Not too long ago I posted about my brother asking me for money. Here’s the TLDR version. Brother asked to borrow $1500 for upcoming trip to Las Vegas despite planning to quit his job and cash out his PTO and 401k.

I had a discussion with him the other day and he again asked if I was planning to loan him $1500 tomorrow when I’m paid. I again asked why he needs $1500 from me when he is about to get his final pay from his job, cash out nearly 220 hours of PTO and cash out his 401k.

He says his PTO and 401k is going to be used to cover his expenses and bills while he’s out of the job. He’s currently going to school right now and doesn’t have a job lined up and understands it may take some time. But his unused PTO alone can support him for 2-3 months he claims and he only plans to cash out his 401k if he can’t find an entry level position in 5-6 months. Above all else he claims he won’t fall behind on his responsibilities.

He plans to take his final pay to Vegas but wants to be able to enjoy himself and a bit of gambling hence why he’s still asking for $1500 as he plans to leave his PTO payout at home and transfer his 401k into a new IRA. He claims that his final pay will be enough to cover his meals and hotel in Vegas but claims he wants to try a few big bets and will pay me back the $1500 out of his PTO when he returns home.

However I still don’t feel this is a reasonable request. Am I wrong for not letting him borrow the money despite having money himself?

Years ago I worked for a small restaurant that my aunt owned. I had no job and moved 4 hours away where my aunt lived and started working there as a sever and cashier. My cousin also worked there but he made my job hell.

Even though the restaurant only sat around 45 people, we were constantly busy. My aunt, cutting costs where she can, kept a skeleton crew and only ever kept my cousin and i in the front of the house caring for 45 people. This was normally doable…if my cousin did his job. As the owners son, he came in late, left early, took longer lunch breaks and often didn’t show up without notice, leaving me to care for the entire restaurant by myself.

I often skipped breaks and lunch and often worked 14 hour days. Despite this, I still gave good service (as evident by the Yelp reviews) and was usually left nice tips. It was agreed that all tips would be pooled together and divided out among all staff at the end of the week on Sunday evenings. It was a common thing for my cousin to only work 2-3 days a week but he always made sure to show up Sunday evenings to count and ensure he got a good cut of the tips that I mostly earned.

However he often took it upon himself to give himself a bigger cut since he claimed that I must secretly pocket tips when he wasn’t there, even though he never had proof. He claims on the days I’m not there, he gets amazing tips and that tips seems to be low on days he’s not there. He would never accept the fact that people tip less when service isn’t as good, which was difficult for me to do when I was the sole server. He dismissed this idea and says it HAS to be because I’m stealing tips so him taking a bigger cut is just him “correcting” the issue.

On top of this, he’d often take any opportunity to verbally put me down, often in front of customers. He’d often say “this guys an idiot” if I made a small mistake or apologize to customer and call me a retard. It got to the point where customers felt uncomfortable and didn’t think it was necessary to belittle me like that. Even when customers made it a point to compliment me to him, his response was normally “he’s just a server. Easily replaceable.”

After about 8 years of this abuse and one hellish Black Friday, I told him to shove it and quit. He claims that I’d come crawling back but I moved back home and now and have my own place making over 100k a year while he kept working at the restaurant until it was sold 2 years after I left. My cousin claims it’s because my aunt wanted to retire but former customers have told me that business took a dive after I left since no one wanted to wait 30 minutes for food while my cousin took his sweet time doing his job.

I learned that your mental health is more valuable than job security. And that working with family can be rewarding but also a major point of contention. Any thoughts?

This happened when I was in high school. One day, as a treat, our science teacher showed the movie “The Core” which is a movie about the earths core stopping. He said it would take two class days to finish the movie so we watch the movie and once class ended, I left.

The next day, I expected to watch the rest of the movie, but our science teacher says someone stole the dvd between the end of our class and the next one since the dvd player was empty when he returned from the bathroom.

By that logic, he assumed it was someone from our class that took it while he stepped out really quick. He said unless it is immediately returned everyone there will get an F for the day and be given detention.

After no one claimed responsibility, my teacher did one last thing. He went over to the door, pulled the curtains over the window and said he was going to turn off the lights and black out the room. He will count to 60 and then turn on the lights. If the dvd was placed back on his desk he will not ask anymore questions. If not, he would give everyone detention as planned. He turned off the lights and started to count out loud and I started to hear giggling and rustling. I could barely see a figure walking towards the front as the teacher counted.

Suddenly the lights came back on after he counted to 15 and he saw my classmate Tony with the dvd in hand. He immediately took it from Tony and said only he’d get detention now.

In retrospect, was what he did ethical and fair? Yeah it was high school and a different time but was lying to get my classmate Tony to basically expose himself as a thief morally fine?

I later asked why he even bothered returning it and he said it was because he took the movie home to finish it (his family was poor) and realized it sucked so he wanted to return it secretly.

This is an update to my post yesterday about my friends situation.

TLDR: Jenny moves into Mary’s two bedroom apartment with her 4 year old son but Jenny insists on taking the one assigned parking spot while Mary finds guest parking (first come first serve) creating a big inconvenience for Mary.

Mary tells me that she said that she is taking back her parking spot as she has grown tired of needing to have food or items delivered since she can’t leave for fear of losing the parking spot or otherwise bending over backwards for Jenny.

Jenny says that’s fine and that she has already intended to move out soon anyways and that she’s already made arrangements with her parents to move into their place. Although Jenny says that Mary was making a big deal out of a small issue and that Jenny had always intended to leave soon anyways but with Mary essentially telling her that she doesn’t want her and her son there anyways, she says she “sees how it is.”

Jenny emphasizes how “God sees all” (they are both devout Christians) and said that don’t be surprised if Jenny can’t help if Mary herself ever finds herself in a situation where she could be homeless.

Mary says that’s fine and says they have until the end of the month (about 2 weeks from this writing) to be moved out. Jenny hasn’t fought back since although Mary says she believe Jenny took some shots at her during this exchange.

Thank you all for the suggestions. I think Mary handled it as well as she could have.

Disclaimer: this is about my friend and not me but she asked me for advice so I thought I’d ask Reddit as well.

My friend Mary does pretty well for herself and has a two bedroom apartment to herself. She converted her second bedroom into a home office as she works from home. However her apartments only assigns her one parking spot as a result. Recently, Mary’s friend Jenny broke up with her boyfriend whom she was living with. Jenny and her ex boyfriend also share a 4 year old son.

Once Jenny decided to move out, she tried to find her own place but due to the high cost of rent, couldn’t find a place she could afford on her own while meeting her prerequisites, so out of desperation, she calls Mary and ask if she could move in with her temporarily. Mary, wanting to be helpful agreed and soon Jenny and her son moved into the second bedroom and pays half the rent although Jenny must park in one of few guest parking spots at the apartment complex.

However due to Jenny needing to drive to work, she was finding it difficult finding parking once she came home on top of running errands or picking up her son from her mom’s place. Jenny then asked if she could then just take the assigned parking spot so she can come and go as she needs to. Mary agreed and parked her car in one of the guest parking spots and spent a week basically at home and never leaving.

However after a week, Mary has grown tired of being cooped up at home and not being able to leave because of how hard it is to find a guest parking spot. Jenny also calls Mary to ask her to help run errands which also causes issues. They’ve had arguments about this and how demanding Jenny is despite being a guest. Mary suggest she just add Jenny to the lease or just get a second assigned parking spot but Jenny doesn’t like this idea as she feels the way they’re doing it now is just easier and only temporary so she doesn’t want her credit ran or be locked into a lease.

Because of this, Mary has asked Jenny to move out but Jenny asks how Mary could kick her and her son out on the streets. Mary says to move in with her parents or her sisters but Jenny says that’s not possible and out of the question.

Jenny is asking for another month as she’s starting a new job soon that should pay her enough to get her into a one bedroom apartment for her and her son.

What should I (Mary) do? I advise Mary get her out of her place soon before she gets into trouble with her property owner. I think Jenny has other places she can stay such as her parents but is only saying it’s not a possibility so she can stay with her.

Edit: wish to add a bit more info I forgot to mention. Mary initially took the deal because Jenny offered to pay for half the rent. Mary saw this as a chance to save some money for month and Jenny appealed to Mary’s charitable side.

Hi sorry if this is the wrong place to ask but I don’t know where else to ask this.

I’m currently using a peptide that’s injected via a needle. But I was told I cannot just throw these away in the regular trash. Luckily I still have my needles as I wasn’t sure how to throw them out. But someone said I can take my needles to a disposal site. Someone says I can just clip the needle off or place the whole syringe in a plastic container.

If I only clip the needle, what do I do the actual syringe once it’s clipped? When turning in these sharps to the disposal center, do I just give them the whole container? I don’t get to keep it and have to keep buying a new one everytime it fills up?

Thanks.

Disclaimer: this isn’t me doing this.

A few years ago, my friend Eric told me that his friend Calvin had an idea where he’d make up some lie about a rival firm offering him more money to come work for them. Calvin’s plan was to simply say to his current managers how he really wants to stay with them but he’s being offered twice as much to work for their rival company. He doesn’t think they’ll actually investigate but asks Eric said he wasn’t sure that was a good idea. Has this actually ever worked?

Also I remember a guy I used to work with named Junior. His father was actually the office manager at an insurance firm he was working at. Junior said he didn’t want to do insurance customer support but also didn’t want to be unemployed so he thought about asking his dad to let him go and claim it was due to budget cuts so he can collect unemployment since he can’t claim unemployment if he quits.

Has either one of these scenarios ever worked in real life? I imagine there must be safeguards in place to prefect abuse. Just curious.

My younger brother (35) and I are both in our mid 30s with no wives or kids so several years ago, we decided to move into a 2 bed 2 bath apartment. About 8 years ago, I was laid off from my warehouse job and decided to try my hands in the engineering field as that’s what I studied in college. Today I’m a senior designer that makes decent money. On top of that, I am an army vet that gets monthly disability compensation.

When I moved in with my brother, I had to disclose this to prove we had the income to move in. At the time, I was rated at 80% which paid for my half of the rent. However I was increased to 100% over the years but kept it a secret from my brother. This is because I’ve been pressured before in the past by family to “take care of the entire rent bill” if I ever got to 100% as family needs to “look out for one another.”

My brother has worked at a local furniture store for 13 years. He’s basically an area manager now but still makes only about $35 an hour. To help him out, I only make him pay for 40% of the rent. In return, I get the master bedroom and enclosed parking garage for my car. However with budget cuts happening within the past year, he feels his time will come soon too so he’s considering going back to college and making a career change.

He’s told me that he’s already signed up for classes and toured at the local college. He says he wants to get into the finance field now but says if he leaves his job, he obviously can’t pay the normal 40% that we agreed on since he’ll likely start an a new entry level position. He is now proposing a new 75/25 split. I said that’s not fair to me but he says that he’s more than certain that I got an increase since he says “there’s no way you can afford the life you live with all the travel and dining out you do.”

I basically threatened him and said if I’m paying for all the rent then I technically don’t need a roommate but he counters by saying that he’s only asking me to pay more for a a year while he gets into a new career and works his way up to ask for a pay rate comprehensible to his current job.

What should I do? You have to understand how culturally speaking, me kicking out my brother would absolutely make me look evil in the eyes of my family. Especially since my brother doesn’t do anything like bring people over to our apartment and doesn’t drink or do drugs. He’s simply asking for me to pick up extra slack while he transition into a new career which I understand. If that were me, I may be tempted to ask my roommate to help out but again I’m not sure what I’d do in that case either. Should I enforce our current agreement or try to work with him or find a new roommate? I really want to avoid the last option as I don’t know if I would like living with anyone else as my brother is a good roommate despite how I’ve just described him.

I had a dog named Bubbles that was tragically killed by a bigger dog years ago. Bubbles was a husky/rot mix and he was smaller but very protective of me. He’d always roll on his back whenever I walked by and often just stared at me while I watched tv.

Anyone else have great dog bonding stories and more specifically if your life was ever in danger, do you think your dog would ever fight till the death of it meant saving you? Hypothetical situation obviously.

Long story short: I got tired of helping my friend Liz for years. She was always late, got irresponsibly drunk, and never took accountability for her own actions.

Last year, she convinced her boyfriend Will to move in with her and I happily took a step back. However I still see Liz at her family functions as I’m still very cool with her whole family. Liz recently told me how she misses me and wished she had her “best friend” back but I flat out told her no.

She admits she was wrong all that time and that Will has changed her for the best. She no longer takes hours to get ready, is on time, and rather than jump around from job to job, has decided to put in the time to work her way up at her current job.

I told her that’s cool but it’s funny how she only seems to have changed since Will has come into her life. I tell her that’s cool I tried for years to support her and make her quit her bad habits but it never worked. And often times she’s blame me for creating these “issues”. If I wanted to leave to go to a concert and blamed me for being weird as “who the hell goes to a concert before the show starts?”

I basically say that the only reason she’s changed now is because someone genuinely important in her life wants her to change. So that means I or anyone else was never impotent enough.

She says that’s not true but I say it doesn’t matter anymore and I’ll never go back to the way things were.

Am I wrong for making this accusation though? What if I was too demanding before?

Thanks for the input everyone.

A few months ago, I cut my longtime friend Liz off due to some rather harsh things she said to me when I denied her help. For years before this, I was helping her as well as helping raise her two young daughters. For years, she’s also asked me for professional advice but she never did anything I advised. She also was also never on time for anything and often deflected to the whole “I’m a single mom” as her excuse.

Last year her boyfriend Will moved in with her and despite having police called to their apartment 3 times in one month, now Liz and Will are engaged and are expecting a baby. I have not contacted her though she still reached out to me to ask why I’ve changed. I simply told her how can she expect me to be happy for her despite what I’ve seen.

Liz claims to have fully changed now. She says Will has shown her how wrong she’s been and now she’s on time, and has accepted her job and embraced it, working her way up rather than complain about it. She now never stays out late and answers her phone in a timely manner.

I told Liz that many people including myself tried for years to get her to kick her bad habits to no avail. However it took her boyfriend less than a year. Why? Because it’s being asked by someone she genuinely cares for. She never changed because we were never important enough to change.

Liz claims I’m being too harsh and to give her another chance. I however refuse and tell her that I will never go back to the way things were even if Will stays or leaves. I wished her the best but warned that she may present herself and Will as the ideal couple but I (and her sister for that matter) knows how dramatic their relationship has been and I’d be faking my happiness for them if that was the case.

Liz begs me to reconsider and she wants “her best friend” back but I’m standing my ground. I told her I’m enjoying the leave I’ve been given.

Am I wrong for being so blunt and harsh to Liz or should I have some grace?

I live in a large apartment complex where we all get mail through a central mailbox location. However, the mailbox numbers don’t always correspond with your apartment unit. For example, living in apartment 1120 doesn’t mean you automatically get mailbox 1120 but can be numbered 350 instead.

I check my mailbox maybe once a week at most as most as it’s usually only ever filled with junk mail and most of my important communications is through email or text message. However depending on the parcel service, we still get packages sent to the mail box rather than left at our doorstep. The other day, I go to my mailbox and find a package there. I wasn’t expecting one and quickly see that it belongs to the neighbor whose name is Mary (using a fake name) lives on a floor above me. I decide to be nice and leave it there for her. I ring her doorbell and she doesn’t answer. I decided to run back to my apartment, grab a sticky note and write “hey it’s your neighbor in unit 1020. Mailman left your package accidentally in my mailbox.”

For the next two days, I don’t hear from her. At first I thought how ungrateful she seems to not at least leave me a sticky note in return but I let it go. Fast forward to yesterday, I’m walking to my apartment when a lady asked if I live in apartments 1020. I said yes and she says she’s Mary. I was expecting her to thank me for bringing her her package but instead she asked why I waited so long to check my mail.

“I had to reorder that item again. I waited nearly 4 days so I thought they just forgot to send it so I reordered it and spent another $80.” Mary explains that she ordered some expensive pants off Esty and when she called their customer service line, they said they can’t resend an order out if it’s marked delivered as Mary could be lying.

I tell Mary that she should’ve spoken with the post office then but she says that doesn’t matter since she shouldn’t have to go to all that effort since she didn’t nothing wrong. She says I cost her an extra $80 because I don’t check my mail more regularly like a “normal person.” and I could’ve prevented this before she had to order her item.

I ask Mary what does she ultimately want from me then. She says that she has two pairs of the same pants now and it cost her $160+ in total which is fine but she says I need to check my mailbox more often in case we get each others mail so we can ensure they get to their rightful owners quickly.

Am I wrong for not checking my mailbox more regularly or is Mary overreacting? I felt like she needs to be more angry at the post office or apartment rather than ask me to check my mail more often.

I live in a large apartment complex where we all get mail through a central mailbox location. However, the mailbox numbers don’t always correspond with your apartment unit. For example, living in apartment 1120 doesn’t mean you automatically get mailbox 1120 but can be numbered 350 instead.

I check my mailbox maybe once a week at most as most as it’s usually only ever filled with junk mail and most of my important communications is through email or text message. However depending on the parcel service, we still get packages sent to the mail box rather than left at our doorstep. The other day, I go to my mailbox and find a package there. I wasn’t expecting one and quickly see that it belongs to the neighbor whose name is Mary (using a fake name) lives on a floor above me. I decide to be nice and leave it there for her. I ring her doorbell and she doesn’t answer. I decided to run back to my apartment, grab a sticky note and write “hey it’s your neigjbor in unit 1020. Mailman left your package accidentally in my mailbox.”

For the next two days, I don’t hear from her. At first I thought how ungrateful she seems to not at least leave me a sticky note in return but I let it go. Fast forward to yesterday, I’m walking to my apartment when a lady asked if I live in apartments 1020. I said yes and she says she’s Mary. I was expecting her to thanks me for bringing her her package but instead she asked why I waited so long to check me mail.

“I had to reorder that item again. I waited nearly 4 days so I thought they just forgot to send it so I reordered it and spent another $80.” Mary explains that she ordered some expensive pants off Esty and when she called their customer service line, they said they can’t resend an order out if it’s marked delivered as Mary could be lying.

I tell Mary that she should’ve spoken with the post office then but she says that doesn’t matter since she shouldn’t have to go to all that effort since she didn’t nothing wrong. She says I cost her an extra $80 because I don’t check my mail more regularly like a “normal person.”

I ask Mary what does she ultimately want from me then. She says that she has two pairs of the same pants now and it cost her $160+ in total which is fine but she says k need to check my mailbox more often in case we get each others mail so we can ensure they get to their rightful owners quickly.

Any thoughts?

It’s been two months since I last broke things off regularly with my longtime friend Liz. The TLDR version is Liz is a single mom who I helped for years but I eventually grew tired of her constant favors. We clashed many times over how entitled she acted at times.

Now she’s living with her boyfriend will and they’re expecting their first baby. This is despite Liz telling me how abusive Will is. She reached out to me once or twice a week to try to guilt trip me by saying how my change looks weird and jealous and how I’m cruel from going from being helpful to her kids to completely cutting them off.

I told her that I don’t care as I’m not her husband nor their father so she couldn’t do anything legally even if she wanted to. Despite my best efforts to help her, she ultimately doesn’t listen and does whatever she wants either way.

Ever since I distanced myself, my hair has looked more fuller and healthier and I’ve actually lost 5 pounds since I’m not forced to eat late and at McDonald’s. I sleep better now and have found more time to go biking which is one of my favorite hobbies. I’m not freaking out over every time the text message tone goes off on my phone now.

Even though I keep a healthy and friendly distance from her, she still tries to find reasons to contact me and always tries to imply how I’m a bad person but she can eat wet toast for all I care. Being nice and helpful didn’t work so I guess I’ll be an ass now.

Years ago I worked for my aunt at her small 49 seat restaurant. Her son (who is 3 years older than me) also worked there but he abused his position. He always came came in late (if at all), took longer lunches, sat around and talked most of the time to female customers, and verbally berated staff, myself included every chance he got and they often included vulgar language. Since we were a small business, my aunt hired many undocumented workers so they couldn’t retaliate and we didn’t have an HR to complain too.

What usually got on my gears the most was how often he’d complain and criticize me for every small mistake but would forget all the favors and times I stayed late, covered his tables or even worked on days off. He’d yell at me for showing up 5 minutes late while he showed up hours late. He’d yell at me for getting a customers order wrong despite them even admitting they ordered the wrong food. He’d take every chance to put me down even when a customer went out of their way to compliment me.

“Just wanted to let you know that (my name) is such a great sever.” Customers often said.

“Pfft, anyone can do his job.” He’d often scoff back.

After I quit, I made it a point to never work for toxic management again especially if there’s clear favoritism.

Also the restaurant was sold two years after I quit. Go figure.

My mother has been widowed for nearly 20 years now as my father passed away when I was young. My mom is semi retired and works as a farm hand. However, since she lives within an hours drive from several local casinos, she’s developed a gambling addiction IMO.

My sister doesn’t think it’s a big deal as she says I should just allow our mother to enjoy her hobby since her bills are still paid on time. However lately it’s become bad IMO. For the 4th week in a row, my mother called me asking if I can send her $200 since she was at the local casino and ran out of money. This isn’t the first time and because she always pays me back, I usually send it to her since I find saying no to her very hard.

However this last time, I told her no because it was the 4th week in a row that she’d asked to borrow money. What was the point is paying me back on a Monday only to ask to borrow money again on a Thursday? On top of that, she always calls me in the morning which implies she was there hours before. I told her that’s addiction when you find yourself at the casino on a Wednesday at 2 am.

My sister, often defends our mom saying how I should just let her borrow the money since she always pays me back. She says our mom went through a lot when we were kids cause when our father passed away suddenly, she was left to raise us on her own.

I told her that was years ago and she owns her house now as well as we all living on our own.

“So you’re willing to spend $160 on dinner for her, our aunt and yourself but asking to borrow $100 for some fun is wrong?” My sister ask. I try to explain those expenses are in different categories. My sister says I shouldn’t be scolding our mother since I waste money on concerts, sporting events and even things like pokemon cards.

Ultimately my sister says I’m wrong and am making myself look like a bad son and out of everyone in the family, I’m the one with the most disposable income so the fact I’m being so tight with my money is a bit crazy, as she said.

I counter and say that she’s crazy and only enabling her addiction but my sister claims it’s not an addiction since she always pays us back on time and it never late on her bills. So she says unless I’m genuinely broke, she doesn’t see the problem in loaning her money and is even more critical that I would berate our elderly mother.

So am I wrong for scolding my mother during this last request? If she continues to pay me back and care for her own bills, should I be worried?