u/blue-water75

I am lying in bed. It’s almost midnight. Nobody can bother me or demand I do anything, like what happened all day at work. I have severe OCD and living life and going to work every day takes so much mental energy. When I can just lie in my bed late at night and be comfortable in my own space it’s like paradise in a way. Yes, my OCD and anxiety are still terrible. But at least I can just lie here and sleep.

Usually, this excitement is tempered by the knowledge that I will have to get up for work in the morning. But I know I can sleep in tomorrow as much as I want. I’m so excited for when I wake up at 6:00 am and then go back to sleep with the knowledge that I don’t have to get up for multiple more hours.

Yes. I’m anxious, confused and terrified of a lot of things. But at least for now I can rest.

When the trailer for this movie dropped, so much of the discourse centered around Nolan’s apparent decision to take a vibrant, colorful story and make it drab and lifeless with his a desaturated color palette.

After watching the movie twice, I decided that the color grading was fairly tasteful. Some movies (Marvel being the main culprit) seem to think that just adding a gray scale filter to cinematography will somehow automatically make it more serious. However, the de saturated color grading in the odyssey felt like it fit with the subjective state of the characters. In desecrating zeus’s law, they have taken warmth and joy out of a once vibrant civilization.

Furthermore, I feel like there was a fair amount of variety to the color palette, actually. Lots of deep resonant blues that gave off an eerie sense of beauty. The dark scenes were gorgeous - especially the sequence in Hades dominated by charcoal. The frequent use of firelight as the main source of lighting added some multi dimensionality as well. While this was a fairly desaturated movie, it wasn’t just an endless slog of drab gray.

What did you think about Nolan’s color choices here? Should he have gone with a more vibrant color palette, or did he make the right choice?

I had a number of "terrible" thoughts and feelings today. I started spiraling. I was worried I had officially become a terrible person. That I had gone too far and could never be forgiven. I ruminated and checked and tried to figure it out.

But then it hit me.

None of this shit matters.

None of the thoughts, feelings, or what if scenarios that I experience have any significance whatsoever for anyone but me. I could live my entire life having these thoughts and feelings and literally nobody would be affected by them besides me. They only matter insofar as they impact my mental health.

So what does that mean? What is my actual moral obligation?

To live life. Not to spend hours in my room ruminating and trying to figure out what the thoughts mean. To stop caring about the thoughts and be productive. That's my responsibility.

Your thoughts don't have moral significance. Your feelings don't have moral significance. What matters is the decisions you make for how you treat other people. The people who are remembered as awful people are not remembered as such because they had some dark thoughts. They are remembered as bad because they actively chose to inflict severe harm on other people.

There is no moral crisis whatsoever surrounding whatever thoughts you have that make you feel awful. You can completely and utterly free yourself from that burden.

Live your life. Let thoughts be thoughts. No matter how "bad" they are.

Thanks.

I have tolerance for differing opinions about pop culture, but this opinion is just straight up dumb, yet I’ve heard it repeated by so many people.

Take four of his best performances: Marty Mauser, Bob Dylan, Laurie and Elio. Four people with completely different personalities, mannerisms and motivations. And he embodies all of them very well.

He can display emotional intensity very well (take his proposal scene to Jo in Little Women, or basically his entire performance in Marty Supreme) as well as subdued and restrained expressions of emotion, such as in Call me by Your Name.

He’s not a DDL level chameleon performer but that doesn’t remotely mean he “plays the same character” in everything. It’s honestly just such a stupid talking point.

I realized recently that really my main compulsion is a mental ritual in which I replay the same moment in my head over and over and over again, trying to resolve … something?

It happens whenever I make a “mistake”, real or not, whenever I trigger myself or do something “immoral”, I have to think about my choice over and over and over again. It’s like I fixate on it more and more with greater and greater intensity until it’s like suffocating my brain. It is physically painful sometimes and causes me to want to scream.

I don’t know exactly what I’m trying to figure out when I engage in this compulsion. Is it why I did what I did? Is it how I could have prevented it? Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to convince myself that it wasn’t actually a choice, and that there is nothing I could have done to prevent it. This is because a complex I have is this deep fear that I will throw everything good in my life away with one bad decision and will be stuck regretting it for my whole life. It relieves this to make myself think I didn’t have a choice if that makes sense
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However, even for small things I know are insignificant I find myself doing this. It’s like I can’t cope with the idea that I ever made the “wrong” decision with my own free will.

It is so exhausting and takes away so much of my attention and makes it so hard for me to get anything done because all my mind can do is this all consuming ritual.

Does anyone else experience this?