u/brainwontstfu23

​

Nobody loves you without conditions. Your parents don't, your partner won't, your siblings won't and gosh your friends def don't. Everyone has certain expectations from you and if you are to fail those, their love would vanish.

​

I (22F) joined a gym around 3 months ago. Because of work, studies, and other hobbies, I’m not super regular: I usually go 2–3 times a week for strength and resistance training, about 30/45 mins each session. For cardio, I mostly prefer sports, so I alternate between badminton, basketball, and learning swimming, which I do 4 times a week

One of the trainers (30M) initially helped me a lot since I was inconsistent and my form was pretty bad in the beginning, so I appreciated the guidance. We barely spoke beyond basic small talk.

But around two weeks ago, he said something that made me really uncomfortable: “If only you were closer to my age, I would’ve asked you for a relationship.” I didn’t know how to respond, so I pretended I hadn’t heard him since the gym was noisy enough for me to get away with it.

Since then, he’s been trying to get closer to me in ways that feel inappropriate and uncomfortable. I’ve tried to politely maintain boundaries, but he either ignores them or deliberately pushes past them. He also occasionally flexes or shows off his body around me, which honestly just makes me feel more uncomfortable.

At this point, the whole situation feels weird and unpleasant, and I’m not sure how to handle it.

We met in college during our third year and became really good friends. After graduation, we stayed in constant touch and were close. Not the closest, but we had a solid friendship for years. At one point, she went through something and didn’t respond for three to four months. Since we hadn’t known each other for very long then, I let it go. Later, we reconnected and were close again for about a year and a half, maybe two years, making it around four years total.

During that time, I even introduced her to a friend of mine, and they later started dating. Gradually, our conversations became lesser. Then one day, she blocked me out of nowhere. When I asked her then-boyfriend, he said everything was fine. When he messaged her to check, she blocked him too. I had to contact her through another friend’s phone, which was really disturbing. She apologized, said she was going through a bad phase, was avoidant, and didn’t have the energy to talk. She promised it wouldn’t happen again, and I forgave her.

After she broke up with him, she became distant with me. I was there for her whenever she needed me, but she was rarely there when I needed her. For months, her replies had already been very dry, and I kept trying to understand.

Yesterday, I noticed she removed me and my private account from her Instagram. When I asked why, she said there was no need to have my account in her following and that everything was fine between us. When I asked to talk, she kept cutting my calls and refused to speak in the moment, saying we could talk later. That was when I realized I couldn’t keep doing this alone.

I sent her two voice notes and ended the friendship.

Since then, I’ve been crying constantly. I’m currently admitted to the hospital, and she knows, but she hasn’t checked on me. I know I ended it because I needed self-respect, but it still hurts deeply.

TL;DR: After four years of friendship, she became distant, removed me from her Instagram, refused to talk properly, and kept avoiding calls. I ended the friendship because it felt one-sided. I’m now heartbroken, especially since I’m in the hospital and she hasn’t checked on me.

I've spent 400 days clean but not anymore. I can't. Im an addict and my drug is self harm. I can't stop coming back to it for more every time I taste it once

Im done with every human relationship on the planet. Including the one with my own mother. Im just done.

I don't think there's ANYONE who loves me, not even my own fucking family and that's sad. But i can't live in delusion anymore. I've been a desperate idiot for their validation all my life and now, at 23 im just DONE. I can't do this anymore

No romantic or platonic relationship of mine has ever worked out anyway, and all i had to fall back upon was my bipolar mother. But at the cost of handling EVERYTHING of hers. She refuses to take treatment and expects me to act like her therapist.

I get that her first marriage wasn't her fault and neither was what she had with her parents later. But this? Why do I have to handle her relationship with the husband that she chose? The man that SHE left us for? The man that SHE was with when I was almost dying from sepsis?

I tried. I let it be. I planned a lunch for us, her, my sister, her husband, all of us. I tried to give her a good mothers day surprise and had everything planned. Bought her a beautiful customised necklace with our memories, which she never once opened. Reserved her favourite restaurant, wanted to make amends and treat her BUT NO SHE HAD TO RUIN THIS. Fought with her husband and now she doesn't wanna go, threw my gift away too. Perfect

Im officially DONE TRYING. IM DONE. NAHI HO RAHA AB. I'd rather be devoid of any human relationship than keep getting disappointed by the people i love but don't love me back.

Im done with every human relationship on the planet. Including the one with my own mother. Im just done.

I don't think there's ANYONE who loves me, not even my own fucking family and that's sad. But i can't live in delusion anymore. I've been a desperate idiot for their validation all my life and now, at 23 im just DONE. I can't do this anymore

No romantic or platonic relationship of mine has ever worked out anyway, and all i had to fall back upon was my bipolar mother. But at the cost of handling EVERYTHING of hers. She refuses to take treatment and expects me to act like her therapist.

I get that her first marriage wasn't her fault and neither was what she had with her parents later. But this? Why do I have to handle her relationship with the husband that she chose? The man that SHE left us for? The man that SHE was with when I was almost dying from sepsis?

I tried. I let it be. I planned a lunch for us, her, my sister, her husband, all of us. I tried to give her a good mothers day surprise and had everything planned. Bought her a beautiful customised necklace with our memories, which she never once opened. Reserved her favourite restaurant, wanted to make amends and treat her BUT NO SHE HAD TO RUIN THIS. Fought with her husband and now she doesn't wanna go, threw my gift away too. Perfect

Im officially DONE TRYING. IM DONE. NAHI HO RAHA AB. I'd rather be devoid of any human relationship than keep getting disappointed by the people i love but don't love me back.

Im kinda in that situation and he sent me a superswipe. His parents live 100 m away from me and no way in hell would i have ever expected this 😭. He's my school senior too

I don't like him anymore but it's worth a conversation

​

I (22F) haven't been the luckiest when it comes to friendships and relationships. All my close friendships have eventually fallen apart. It’s like I meet people, we vibe for a while, and then either something goes wrong, we argue, or they just slowly lose interest and disappear.

This same cycle keeps repeating every year, and now I feel like I can’t really form a proper connection anymore because I don’t expect anyone to actually stay.

The last fight I had with my ex best friend (we were close for 4 years), she said something that stuck with me. She told me she’s not my boyfriend and can’t be there for me every time I’m going through something, and that I should date someone instead. That was the first time I realized that maybe what I was expecting from friendships wasn’t normal.

So I did try dating someone who seemed emotionally available and consistent, even though it was long distance. That didn’t work out either. Around the same time, I also ended another close friendship that had lasted 8 years. This all happened last year, and since then, I don’t really feel like I have anyone steady in my life.

I’m still friendly with people, I can make new connections, but it never really goes anywhere. We talk for a bit and then it just fades out, and I’m back to square one again.

At this point I’ve kind of given up on the idea of having real, lasting friendships or relationships and I've completely given up the idea of dating. But I still wonder how other people manage it. Do people in their 20s actually have close, stable friendships, or is it mostly just surface-level connections that come and go?

PS: didn't know which flair to add so i did the most unique one hehe. Hope mods don't remove dis

I- IM SO RED RN OMG OMG. So I have severe body dymorphia from the bodyshaming I've suffered as a kid teen and later adult.

For the majority of my adulthood it was men shaming me for my "manly" features like my small chest and tall height but few women shamed me too, very male centric comments tho "you look like a man" , "men don't want this". Eventually I got sick of them and cut everyone off. Made new friends, stopped dating and now I'm better.

Although the dysmorphia stayed, I still cry when I can't fit into a pair of jeans due to my legs (im pear shaped and big thighs and hips are the bane of my existence), still hate how i don't fill out dresses from the top, still hate how I'm always the tall one out, but BUT BUT there's a saying na "dubne waale ko tinke ka sahara kaafi hota hai" (A drowning person can cling to even a straw for support) and I FOUND MY STRAW TODAY.

I explored female centric content on IG and felt comfortable enough to comment on it, and had a whole parade of women commenting that I look female gaze hot 😭. Gosh, female attention made me feel much better than male attention ever can. I do feel pathetic while posting this because technically I still did rely on validation but GOSH. WOMEN ARE LOVELY YALL.

Coincidence maybe? But when I went out today for a solo lunch date I had a group of girls tell me I look wonderful and my fit slays and it MADE MY DAY

GOSH I LOVE GIRLHOOD SO MUCH. Fuck patriarchy and misogyny guys, women are LIT

​

Ever since I was a kid, I was bullied for my body. And I don’t think I’ve ever had a healthy relationship with food or my weight because of it. I’ve always been hyper-aware, almost obsessed, with the exact features people picked on, and I hate that it still has this much control over me.

When I was younger, it started with my face. People used to say it looked “manly.” Then as I grew into my teens, it became about my height, since I’ve always been taller than most. I got called a man more times than I can even count.

Then when I gained weight, the focus shifted to my thighs. They were “too big.” And even when I lost weight, the comments didn’t stop. People would still say things like, “they still jiggle when you walk, can’t you do anything about them?” or “you’ve lost weight everywhere else, why can’t you lose it from your legs?”

And now, as an adult, after I’ve grown into my features and somewhat made peace with parts of myself, it’s about my chest. The number of comments I’ve received about it being “too small,” from friends, family, and even men I don’t care about, is honestly unreal. I tried not to let it affect me. I really did. But when something is repeated enough times, it eventually gets in.

The kind of body shaming I’ve experienced over the years has been described as inhumane by others, and even though I tried to keep it from getting to me, it did.

On the outside, I come across as confident, happy, and completely unbothered. But internally, I struggle a lot. I hate my body more than I’d like to admit. I find myself putting in less effort while getting dressed because somewhere in my head it’s like, “I’ll look manly anyway.” And compliments don’t even land anymore. They just make me uncomfortable, because I feel like people are lying or just being nice.

I’ve been in therapy for a while now, and I’m trying to work through all of this. Let’s see how that goes.

I just needed to get this out cause today felt extra hard. Thanks for listening.