I tried learning about love languages, and taking tests to see which one I lean towards the most, but I seemed to notice that I get uncomfortable with every type of love language or affection.
For instance, I can be calm in like a really dangerous situation and everyone else is upset, but then freak out at like the littlest things that I shouldn't need to be upset over?
I'm 18, and have been struggling for years with my mental health, and I know ECT is typically a last resort. But I've been on I don't know how many medications. I've been through multiple therapies, therapists, etc. Severe occasions, I'd be sent to a psychiatric ward. Should I bring this up to my therapist and psychiatrist? Or should I wait longer before deciding to bring it up?
I get it might sound overly sensitive or overreacting or something, and I shouldn't be taking it to heart. But as someone who heavily relates to him, and also dislike when others joke about the stuff I went through, or would joke about "future possibilities" of it happening again. So when I see Wanderer or Scara getting those jokes, I kind of just don't see the joke in them? Please let me know your opinions on this.
Edit: I just want to clarify, I think I might have emphasized my dislike TOO much. I don't HATE it, like I'm not dying or anything just because of the jokes. And I was fine at first, I think it's just it's gotten overused? And how some kind of like watered him down to only the betrayals. But besides that, I don't really care much, or I just try and go on with my day and try to ignore them. I just wanted to share that I don't really understand the jokes for the most part. I do think it's just my sensitivity, though. I am fairly oversensitive a lot, so I tend to freak out over the little things that don't really need happening...but yeah.
I legitimately feel like slamming my head into a wall over and over and over and over again until I bleed.
Will hurt, but that's genuinely my point. I'm so lost and empty and numb...and bored. I need to feel something, ANYTHING. My body is on fire and screaming. I was fine and happy minutes ago...WHY AM I FUCKING LIKE THIS NOW? God, I fucking hate myself and my mind and everything with it.
I have a best friend, they're technically my favorite person as they have been with me for 12 years. I always got so scared of losing them to the point my mental health would spiral...they don't reply to me, I would think they hate me. They talk to someone else, I think they hate me or leaving me, and I would end up harming myself or try to...you know, end it. I don't interact with anyone else, I have no other friends, and isolate myself from everyone or everything, and see them as the best out of everyone and everything. Like they're some flawless person or god...sometimes I do end up trying to push them away because I get scared that they'll leave. But it doesn't last very long and end up coming back to them needing that comfort and reassurance that they're still there. It drains me, and feels like I'm honestly on fire from the intensity of this. The extreme emotions that come with does not help.