u/brokenpa

https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/s/q1wQ5b1fMc

TLDR; Both Nparents are elderly and were alcoholics when I was growing up. They subjected me to abuse daily until they kicked me out pregnant at age 21. My grown adult daughter contacted them 6 months ago because all they have ever shown her is the complete opposite. Both Nparents sent her money throughout college behind my back and moved her into their house around Christmas while also telling the whole family I "failed her".

I found out she moved after she was already there. My Nmom told me she had no car, license, and no job at the time of moving and they were going to "fix it" (exact words). They boasted to the rest of the family that I "wouldn't help" when I didn't even know and wasn't asked to help or contribute.

My Ndad started to contact me in January just to tell me about how she "breaks curfew" nightly. He said she does not have a car so he was actually driving her 40 miles round trip every single day to and from work. He called to tell me he needs her birth certificate so she can get a license because he's going to "make her".

Ndad would call and complain to me about how I "raised her wrong" and that she "doesn't listen" so I blocked him telling him explicitly I don't want to hear about how I failed.

He started emailing instead saying things like "You need to answer your texts.". I ignored those emails so he emailed "Mom and I are going to call a welfare check on you soon.". I know for an absolute fact he knows my employer and knows I'm working.

This was only one month in, so I said "I work every day 7 days a week (true), leave me alone.". I explained that I do not want to hear from them until they both acknowledge they abused me throughout childhood and they both take accountability.

In February he texted "Want to go out to lunch?". I ignored it entirely but still saw it on Android in the "blocked" messages.

In April, he wrote "Are you still mad?" again. I ignored this.

On Mother's Day, I find a $50 gift card in my mailbox after work. Not from my daughter, but from my mom.

In June, I am given $300. This is in my door when I get home from work and it's with a note that says "I know you'll need a new car soon let me know when.".

This is how Ndad fixes things. He ruined my whole childhood with abuse and hitting. Now, he spends his whole adult life throwing money at problems instead of discussing anything at all.

The biggest insult of all came a week ago. He called and left a voicemail (blocked but can still leave voicemails) saying that everyone is going to Disney World and can I please come get the mail and watch the house while they're gone.

So, the whole family is going to Florida, I'm not invited, and the money was all a bribe to watch his house. He claims my adult daughter is "spoiled" and that I "raised her wrong" yet she still lives there rent free and he rewards her with a Disney vacation.

I have an extreme amount of anger and can't stop ruminating about the situation. They both want to complain about having my daughter there but won't ask her to leave because they want to be victims and "Saviors" at the same time.

This is becoming a daily event now since I have been at this job for one month. I do not order any food and don't want to have anything to do with this. My job is to answer 8 telephone lines that ring all day and direct visitors in a VERY large hospital.

HR, the Director, Accounting, Infection Control, and the Director of Nursing are all on the top floor. For lunch, one of them comes down with 5 debit cards and (usually poorly) written orders to a restaurant of their choice. Friday it was Arby's.

They demand I go get the food, separate all orders into different transactions, and provide proof of receipt. This means I have to take my own car and go into Arby's (or whatever other restaurant) during my unpaid lunch break. Leaving the building without clocking out is a company violation resulting in termination.

I never get anything to eat because the cashier at the restaurant is already pissed when I say I have 5 transactions. This whole ordeal takes up my whole lunch break and I don't get to eat my own packed meal or take a real break.

Then, I have to take all the food to the top floor where I receive complaints that I messed it all up.

Friday was the last straw for me when they had me order delivery from a popular restaurant over the phone and I did so from the front desk. I was disciplined by HR for reading their credit cards out loud at the front desk and was told I should have "used my own cell phone on lunch break" to place their lunch order.

Then, when the food came and I was working, I was told again that I should "know better than to let it sit there" and it's "my job to bring it upstairs.".

Not in my job description. I am not to leave the desk.

This becoming a daily event now since I have been at this job for one month. I do not order any food and don't want to have anything to do with this. My job is to answer 8 telephone lines that ring all day and direct visitors in a VERY large hospital. This is not in my job description.

HR, the Director, Accounting, Infection Control, and the Director of Nursing are all on the top floor. For lunch, one of them comes down with 5 debit cards and (usually poorly) written orders to a restaurant of their choice. Friday it was Arby's.

They demand I go get the food, separate all orders into different transactions, and provide proof of receipt. This means I have to take my own car and go into Arby's (or whatever other restaurant) during my unpaid lunch break. Leaving the building without clocking out is a company violation resulting in termination.

I never get anything to eat because the cashier at the restaurant is already pissed when I say I have 5 transactions. This whole ordeal takes up my whole lunch break and I don't get to eat my own packed meal or take a real break.

Then, I have to take all the food to the top floor where I receive complaints that I messed it all up.

Friday was the last straw for me when they had me order delivery from a popular restaurant over the phone and I did so from the front desk. I was disciplined by HR for reading their credit cards out loud at the front desk and was told I should have "used my own cell phone on lunch break" to place their lunch order.

Then, when the food came and I was working, I was told again that I should "know better than to let it sit there" and it's "my job to bring it upstairs.".

Not in my job description. I am not to leave the desk.

Is this not completely ridiculous and petty bullying?

Only HR and my trainer who initially trained me have my phone number. Human Resources is aware of my IBS as I have reasonable accommodation for it on file.

However, three coworker's who sit closest to me started texting me from 10am-12pm asking for the exact reason as to why I wasn't there (diarrhea due to IBS-D). I told one of them "I couldn't make it in" and her text back was "Are you sick and what do you have?"

I didn't reply but I only need to notify HR of my illness. However, I know when I walk in tomorrow I will be bullied in person. These women don't let anything go and since there is only one bathroom in the whole office, I'm also extremely nervous (horrified) to go in to work at all.

I know if I disclose my medical condition, they will also laugh or make jokes and I'm just not in the mood for it as I spent all day struggling.

Has anyone else had to deal with something similar? These are adult women who find toilet humor hilarious. Thanks.

I have been denied disability 3 times with a lawyer.

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I have lost 17 jobs. I still have ocular migraines with visual aura lasting up to an hour. The pain lasts 2-3 days.

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I am on not just migraine meds but also anti-seizure medication and still have migraines. I am wondering if anyone else has dealt with anything like this or can offer any recommendations other than herbal supplements.

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Thanks

This is my third day on the job (yesterday).

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We had a morning meeting where I brought a notebook with me because I am new and wanted to gather some notes because I remember things better when I write them down. In the notes, I also wrote down people's names since I am still learning who everyone is. This is a personal notebook I brought from home and it has my name on the front. It has notes and a calendar with dates and my personal business in it.

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When I got up to use the restroom later in the day, my boss "just happened to pass by" my desk where the notebook was sitting. She went through it and when I came back she told me my notes were "wrong". Since I take notes in shorthand, she started saying "what does this even mean?" and questioned me on how I write.

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I wanted to tell her to stay out of my own private notes especially because I don't need to be corrected on what I write down but I have a feeling she's a micromanaging pain in the ass and I need to take everything with me to the bathroom including my purse from now on.

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Is this a red flag?

I applied to a part time weekend position with this company. I was interviewed over the phone for a post that is 10 miles from my home. Then, I was told I need to come to their corporate location which is an 80 mile round trip.

When I got there, I was fingerprinted and drug tested, all good as this took 10 minutes.

When I was about to leave, I asked about uniforms and was told I won't be getting any. They told me I have been sent an email for "online training" which consists of the following:

Downloading Teams and turning on location to my personal cell phone. Teams links to their training. Completing all training courses on a laptop or computer only. Cell phones won't open the modules. The training includes 19 classes that MUST be done within 48 hours and range from 20 minutes to one hour per module. If I do not complete all classes to 100% they will not hire me.

I will only receive an official job offer AFTER training is complete. After I complete all modules, I need to drive back to the corporate office (80 miles round trip) for uniforms. Since I do not have a personal computer, I'm basically screwed.

Has anyone worked for them? My courses are due tomorrow and I'm trying to see if it's worth getting to the library (where I probably won't be able to access them anyway).

He's been doing this for 2 years and has a car that is NOT reliable. He recently had to ask for money for a new transmission from his mother. Age 35. No other income and when he quit his regular job to go do this full time I knew it was a problem.

He blew a tire last week and put a new tire on a credit card because he's broke.

I work 40 hours a week and while I am at work he sends me photo messages of his dashes. He tells me he's making huge amounts of money on this but that can't be possible. He's absolutely addicted to the "rush" and will send me pictures of every single transaction in his passenger seat. It's kind of scary since he's done it while driving also

He refuses to go search for a regular job and admits he wants to chase this high. I told him to stop texting me while he's driving but he continues to do this. Anyone else addicted?

I walked out of a front desk position today at a Nursing Home where I was continuously blamed for Resident's elopements.

There are no alarms on doors and the facility allows those diagnosed with Dementia to remain on the AL side. They expected me to work the front desk and caregivers also found it easy to blame me if people with Dementia wandered off. This happened often on the weekends if I had to use the restroom and it was absolutely impossible to watch everything at once. If I was on the phone, I would have to place calls on hold to chase people who were running out.

A Resident tried to leave 3 times this morning before noon. I am not certified in anything medical and told my boss last week I can't keep chasing after these Residents who often start screaming or hitting me when I try to bring them back in. My boss told me it is not my job but offered no alternatives to solve the issue. She did not tell me the caregivers would help and did not tell me who to go to when this happens.

So, I sat and typed up a letter of resignation today. As I was typing, a Resident started walking outside and the head nurse just let them walk while watching me waiting to get up.

I told the Head Nurse I was resigning due to the lack of care for these people (as I was bringing this elderly woman with Dementia back in). The head nurse told me "How was I supposed to know she was even outside?" Which proves my point exactly. I was the only one who cared.

I called the Director of the facility to tell her my resignation was in their inbox and said I was outside in my car at 12:30 leaving permanently due to Resident neglect.

The Director demanded I hurry up and go back in before I leave and fix the timeclock since it was frozen and "no one else knows how". I absolutely did not. She then blamed me for quitting and said it's my fault I didn't come to her first.

Part time job 20 hours a week at $16 an hour. Toxic.

I have had enough of this behavior and caught it on video this morning. This is in a healthcare facility.

My immediate supervisor will come out of her office screaming at the top of her lungs at the staff and Nurses. She screams about absolutely everything and has recently started throwing objects. It's almost like a blind rage where she grabs anything she sees. She never hits anyone, just throws things at the walls.

I caught all of this on video this morning from behind the front desk but also learned it's useless in my state of PA as I can't use it or send it to Corporate or else I will probably be fired.

However, I want to know if anyone else has to deal with this abuse. This is abuse right? Toxic work environment? If you yell back, she screams louder and this is in front of SICK PEOPLE.

She is humiliating herself as a 50 year old woman who can't control her temper but she seems to not even care. Everyone here wants her out. She controls the building with her rage and it works. Ideas?