u/captainduckworth

Sitting in a friend's garden in the Wantage area today, I spotted a bird I've never seen before. I didn't manage to catch a photo, but Merlin's step-by-step ID brought me to the spotted flycatcher which looked like a very good visual match. I know they've occasionally been seen in the Wantage area before, but since they're quite rare I wanted to run it by others before adding it to my list! Could anyone offer any alternatives based on this description, or could I be right?

It was briefly perched on an outer tree branch in a quiet and very green residential area, bigger than a robin but smaller than a blackbird and very slim. It was buff/grey-brown with a light, lightly speckled chest and a slim, dark beak. Unfortunately it didn't stick around long enough for me to hear any calls. I'm fairly confident it wasn't a thrush, it wasn't as darkly coloured or strongly speckled, and was definitely slimmer.

Thanks in advance!

I know, it's an older game, I could Google tips. I'm hoping people will help a girl out anyway because I really want to play this game, but I'm autistic and easily overwhelmed and honestly, I feel a little out of my depth!

I tried to play on PS4 once a couple of years ago, not being a console gamer, and got immediately overwhelmed by the pace and tension of the train robbery scene. It was a bit much for me to keep on top of the controls *and* keep up with the game. I'm now playing my bf's PC copy to see if I can get on with it well enough to buy it in the Steam summer sale - but I'm so nervous of just being a bit shit at it and disappointing myself.

Can anyone offer advice on how best to ease into the game while still making some measure of satisfying progress? I want to get better at it but my own brain is holding me back right now.

Thanks in advance 💛

We received the memorandum of sale today. In the email, the estate agent said this:

"If they are required, the expectation is that surveys will be booked, and mortgage applications submitted, within 2 weeks of the memorandum of sale date."

At the moment my partner is out of the country for work (which the estate agents know), so I'm trying my best to get everything kicked off by myself in the evenings, while working full time in the day, and this heatwave is starting to make me unwell. So my question is: is it absolutely vital that the above is done within 2 weeks? Will there be any ramifications if I'm not able to? Or is that just standardised text designed to get the ball rolling and instill a bit of urgency, and I actually have some leeway to wait until my partner's home?

For context, my parents used to live about a 4-4.5 hour drive away, depending on traffic. They hadn't visited us in 6 years because they always had reasons why the drive would be too much for them. So the plan was for them to move closer to us while downsizing for convenience, and when we were able we would buy our first house slightly closer too (especially as that area was affordable for us).

They moved as planned in December, but just before they did, our relationship completely fell apart due to an argument. I haven't seen them in person since, and we're currently no longer arguing but we're not speaking - I've been hurt enough by the fallout that the trust isn't there and I don't know what my next move is.

The kicker? My partner and I have just begun the legal process of our first house purchase. My parents don't know. A huge part of me wants to share this massive life milestone with them because I'm so excited - the other part of me doesn't want to, because it will look like giving permission for "normal" contact to resume and I've already said explicitly that I'm not ready for that because nothing has been repaired. And regardless, I don't even know how they would react to the news at this point. Add to that the resentment of having to navigate the complicated legal process for the first time without parental support.

I don't really know what I want from this post. Just... Shouting into the void I guess? I don't know. I'm so tired.

Just had an offer accepted on a place and I'm both excited and hugely intimidated. Obviously need to get a solicitor sorted ASAP.

I came across Habito while getting the MIP sorted and their Plus service seems great on the face of it - I'm auDHD and though I'm capable of doing life admin stuff, and doing it well, I can find it super overwhelming and life is already a lot right now. So having mortgage brokering, legal and survey all handled in one place with support is *really* appealing. Huge bonus points for being able to do it all online as phone calls are the worst and I love having things in writing where I actually have time to process it.

My question is, is it worth it both financially and practically? Would anyone who's had experience with Habito Plus, or a similar service, be willing to share some details? Especially if you're neurodivergent, I'd love to hear how you handled this part of the buying process with a service or otherwise.

Thank you so much in advance.

-- Edited to add -- Just got an estimate of how much Plus would be for us based on the property we're trying to buy. For a level 2 survey only it'd cost £2,713, level 2 survey plus valuation would be £2,776.

My partner and I are neurodivergent and anxious about this whole process, and while we know 5-10% under asking is considered totally normal, we've no idea what the "right" initial offer would be for a house we like. We want to make a good impression and show we're serious, but don't want to pay more than we have to, obviously. My instinct is £280k, my partner initially thought higher. If anyone could offer some insights, I'd be really grateful!

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Some details on the house:

- £300k asking price. The agent said he valued it lower, and although the seller wanted to put it up at 300, they're ready to sell and would lower it "for the right buyer". The seller has been waiting for the tenant to be ready to move out, else they'd have sold sooner.

- 3 bed townhouse, terraced, small garden.

- Very well kept, has had the same tenant for ~10 years, no major work to be done, only decorating.

- Good location within walking distance of town centre and transport.

- Nearby houses are estimated on Rightmove at around 280-285k. No idea how useful or accurate this is.

Straight to the point - I'm a 31yo autistic, hypermobile, fibromyalgia-suffering desk worker whose shoulders are maybe 50% knots and whose joints are clicking every time I so much as blink.

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I spent my whole childhood very active and only slowed down a bit once I went to uni, and then again when I got an office job about 7 years ago. So my base level fitness/strength isn't absolute zero, but it's not where it used to be or should be. I want to start building up a little strength to try and protect against any worse issues than the ones I already have. Starting at home feels like a good option, where I don't have to worry about feeling observed/judged, I can be comfortable in my own environment and I can go at my own pace. I find gym culture really intense and off-putting.

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Can anyone recommend a YouTube account or two that could help someone like me with some beginner strength training? Thanks in advance ❤️

Newly estranged here, and (maybe naively) still hoping that if my parents would read something impactful written by someone who isn't me - christ knows they don't hear anything I say - then it might make a difference.

I've come across Joshua Coleman's book, 'Rules of Estrangement'. It seems to be pretty well respected and sounds balanced, but I'm iffy about one bit on the blurb:

"As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren."

This makes me feel a little defensive... Like it's a trend, as so many estranged parents keep saying. Maybe that's just reactivity after seeing so much criticism of adult kids who've had enough.

Has anyone read it? Is it actually balanced and helpful? Anyone had their parents read it and actually make an effort to repair things?

TIA from a very sad and tired newly estranged adult kid who honestly just misses her asshole mum

Not sure if this is a bug or not, but I've got the ring of speed equipped and the "balanced body" catching skill. Neither seems to work underwater since I got my mermaid tail, I'm scything and catching soooo slowly 😩 This happened to anyone else?

My hair has been thinning on and off since I was 19, now 31 and it's destroying my self confidence. I've been trying so hard to look after my hair but I'm starting to think I need help with it.

My question is, where should I go for a reliable/accurate diagnosis and potential treatment? i.e. trichologist/dermatologist/GP/hair clinic?

I do need to think about budget, I have some health insurance through work but I highly doubt it would cover this. I can't afford to be dropping four figures on this, but could be tempted to spend hundreds if I was confident enough in a potential outcome.

If anyone has any more specific recs, I'm in the north Wiltshire area, close to Swindon. Thanks in advance ♥️