u/catchthetams

As title states. I just got back from a muddy round where several discs found some poison ivy. I usually give them a scrub in the shower with me and some Technu (probably doing too much) or Dawn in this situation. Sometimes I realize a handful of discs have some light dirt on them and I'll toss my whole bag in the tub to let them soak.

I've also played with some guys who don't ever clean them more than a quick wipe on the course and back in the bag.

Have you noticed anything different with the flight or your grip with a freshly cleaned disc vs. one that's never seen water and soap?

Alright dudes. Just wanna throw this out there that I know there are dads out there who are struggling with this, or are going through divorce, or incredibly tough times with their children. I just want to give out some helpful advice that helped my wife and I reconnect and have better intimacy than we have had in our 10+ years being together. This could also be the most "duh" post in this sub, but wanted to throw this out there because it may help one of you. We went from maybe once a month to every other day now. I'm also finding myself with more time to hang out with friends, enjoy hobbies, enjoy time with my kids, and we're in a better rhythm. This is just a somewhat organized collection of things I've been working to improve on over the last 18 months or so.

Couple years ago we started therapy after the second one was born. Bad communication, trying to get "wins" over each other where we could. I won't say our careers, but I will say I'm not the breadwinner but probably have the more overall stressful job. It took a long while, but we found methods that worked for us, we've stuck with them, and we are able to diffuse fights before they happen... mostly. If you're in therapy - use the tools. Don't try to "win" each argument. If you're considering therapy - for yourself, or your marriage - absolutely do it if available.

One of the big things we noticed was how she felt post-partum. I encouraged her but never pushed/forced her to see a therapist about it. She did eventually, I don't ask details but just ask if it makes her feel better or more grounded. If she wants to talk, she will. My wife also switched meds after talking to her doctor and that seemed to help her "relax" a bit more. If that's a convo you can have, I would 100% recommend it.

Find out what you both enjoy doing for chores and run with it. I can't cook for shit, and she loves to do it. But that means I'm doing dishes 90% of the time. I'm OK with it, because I have to be. I do the yardwork. I build shit. I hang the lights and trim the hedges. She cleans the bathrooms organizes the house. Cleaning apparently gives her a release like I'm assuming how I feel after I throw burgers on the grill and crack open another beer.

I know everyone here does stuff around the house, but help out more especially with our little goblins running around. Find fun ways to make them clean up. I have no problem being bad cop and enforcing the rules, and will tell my kids, "Let's make mommy happy, who can clean up faster?" If I can at least put another load in the dishwasher, or throw away junk my kids left behind, I'm at peace. I know I can also tell my wife right before bed, "Don't worry, I handled it". She probably did the dishes the night before or unloaded them in the morning half the time.

We started that "I'm at 50%, I need 50%" mentality. If either of us had a tough day at work, we communicate and say "I'm running low. I'm 20%. I need help today" but know we have to be there for each other. There are days when I need her to pick up the slack because work sucked and my girls won't stop screaming but she knows I have her back when it's the same for her.

Learn to give a massage. Find a book, or a youtube video. Don't do it with the intent of getting laid - maybe that will come, maybe it won't. Leg rubs, arm rubs, neck, etc. I've always had a knack for them, but I actually enjoy giving my wife a foot rub for no reason other than I want to let her know she's comfortable with me. She also knows I'd gladly trade a head scratch for a neck rub any day of the week.

Porn and those IG models. Cut it out, and stop following them. Hell, get off social media but that's a topic for a whole 'nother day. I'm not perfect, but I used to watch a fair amount when she "wasn't in the mood" but now I might watch it when she's on her period.

On that note, when she's talking to you - put your damn phone down. Pause the TV. Look her in the eye and give her an, "I'm here." You may be exhausted from the day, or your kids, or life in general but you make a better effort to connect and you'll find better connection.

Thank you for coming to my dadTalk. Hopefully this is a worthwhile post.

What's the deal with their beef and the border wall?

As title states. I often seem to struggle with transferring my 3* pokemon that have little to no value other than they're 3* and/or lucky. I seem to have a ton of Flaffys, Scizors, Wailmers, etc.

How about you?

These last few weeks are dragging. We're all heading towards the finish line and looking for a positive boost from this wonderful community.

What are the top 3 things that happened this year? School, personally, or whatever. Did your students rock their state test? Get an improvement on your admin responses? Join a new committee that is doing great work?

Give me that supportive boost and we can get through these last few weeks together!