u/chalkybone

My girlfriend is the DM. She invited a mutual friend of ours to join her DND game she runs. We used to hang out with him and his wife at theirs and play boardgames until life got in the way for us all.

So having missed playing games together, she invited him to join her DND game with 6 players making us 7 now, 8 in total including DM.

We would play at a local gaming club where all we had to do was purchase a drink or something ( no table or booking fees)

Things are great there, lots of table space, loads of terrain free to use. The only issue is occasionally the other tables sometimes being a bit loud with their own game. No big deal. We all get loud and enthusiastic.

This friend suggested we play round his, let's call him Kurt. Kurt said he's got the space for it since he got a new dining table, we wouldn't have to worry about noise so why don't we all go to his for it?

DM and everyone agreed we'll give it a try. Parking isn't ideal, in fact it's very limited space in the area as it's a cul-de-sac. Secondly, we were gaming in the town centre, which is more accessible for some so we all agreed to share rides for those that needed it.

We play a week or two at Kurt's house and it becomes abundantly clear that it's too small. There are 8 of us including the DM crammed around a 6 seater table. With DM screen, character sheets, snacks, drinks, stationary, maps and minis, there just isn't enough room.

We have a couple of large personalities on the table and Kurt joins that to make it a trio. Which is great, but in the confines of that room, it becomes overbearing with the noise.

Except that time his wife (who's in the other room doing her own thing, DND isn't her thing) gets an "important" phone call. So he shushes us, we try to continue playing quietly but he keeps shushing us, so it kills the vibe. So we end up sitting there in silence rather than continue subdued . After about 20 minutes, we discover she's off the phone and we are allowed to continue playing.

Then as the volume ramps up, a few of the less rambunctious players get talked over, even the DM is struggling to be heard from one end of the table to the head where Kurt sits, bellowing his jokes and what he's doing next, without giving anyone else a chance to speak their ideas.

We quickly learn that Kurt has main character syndrome. He wants to check every trap, loot every body, rush through every door etc.

I learned some news that would help the party with the bbg of that session, I try to tell the group 3 times, each time he tells and talks over me. I give up. The session finishes, we go home and I telly.gd how deflated I feel. Turns out, I wasn't the only one. Several other players messaged the DM to say they felt the same way and wanted to go back to the gaming club.

The DM messages Kurt to let him know how people feel and that we'll be returning to the gaming club. She then puts in the group chat that we shall be going back to the gaming club as the room just wasn't big enough with acoustics and table size for us there, thank you Kurt for inviting us into your home, but now we'll be going back to the gaming club.

Kurt then messages everyone in the group individually asking "what's wrong with my house?!" He becomes arsey and the DM said she was handling it as they came to her, as the DM. He gets in a tizz that it's his house, they should've gone to him, that it's not fair!

DM said we'd continue at the club as before, the next time we meet up, we get a message in the group chat saying he's dropping out, that he just doesn't have the time for it anymore.

Did the group do right by addressing issues with the DM not the host?

Did the host overreact messaging everyone directly and in the group?

Did he overreact by leaving the game?

TLDR: guy quit our game and friendship because his place was too small to host the game.

My girlfriend is the DM. She invited a mutual friend of ours to join her DND game she runs. We used to hang out with him and his wife at theirs and play boardgames until life got in the way for us all.

So having missed playing games together, she invited him to join her DND game with 6 players making us 7 now, 8 in total including DM.

We would play at a local gaming club where all we had to do was purchase a drink or something ( no table or booking fees)

Things are great there, lots of table space, loads of terrain free to use. The only issue is occasionally the other tables sometimes being a bit loud with their own game. No big deal. We all get loud and enthusiastic.

This friend suggested we play round his, let's call him Kurt. Kurt said he's got the space for it since he got a new dining table, we wouldn't have to worry about noise so why don't we all go to his for it?

DM and everyone agreed we'll give it a try. Parking isn't ideal, in fact it's very limited space in the area as it's a cul-de-sac. Secondly, we were gaming in the town centre, which is more accessible for some so we all agreed to share rides for those that needed it.

We play a week or two at Kurt's house and it becomes abundantly clear that it's too small. There are 8 of us including the DM crammed around a 6 seater table. With DM screen, character sheets, snacks, drinks, stationary, maps and minis, there just isn't enough room.

We have a couple of large personalities on the table and Kurt joins that to make it a trio. Which is great, but in the confines of that room, it becomes overbearing with the noise.

Except that time his wife (who's in the other room doing her own thing, DND isn't her thing) gets an "important" phone call. So he shushes us, we try to continue playing quietly but he keeps shushing us, so it kills the vibe. So we end up sitting there in silence rather than continue subdued . After about 20 minutes, we discover she's off the phone and we are allowed to continue playing.

Then as the volume ramps up, a few of the less rambunctious players get talked over, even the DM is struggling to be heard from one end of the table to the head where Kurt sits, bellowing his jokes and what he's doing next, without giving anyone else a chance to speak their ideas.

We quickly learn that Kurt has main character syndrome. He wants to check every trap, loot every body, rush through every door etc.

I learned some news that would help the party with the bbg of that session, I try to tell the group 3 times, each time he tells and talks over me. I give up. The session finishes, we go home and I telly.gd how deflated I feel. Turns out, I wasn't the only one. Several other players messaged the DM to say they felt the same way and wanted to go back to the gaming club.

The DM messages Kurt to let him know how people feel and that we'll be returning to the gaming club. She then puts in the group chat that we shall be going back to the gaming club as the room just wasn't big enough with acoustics and table size for us there, thank you Kurt for inviting us into your home, but now we'll be going back to the gaming club.

Kurt then messages everyone in the group individually asking "what's wrong with my house?!" He becomes arsey and the DM said she was handling it as they came to her, as the DM. He gets in a tizz that it's his house, they should've gone to him, that it's not fair!

DM said we'd continue at the club as before, the next time we meet up, we get a message in the group chat saying he's dropping out, that he just doesn't have the time for it anymore.

Did the group do right by addressing issues with the DM not the host?

Did the host overreact messaging everyone directly and in the group?

Did he overreact by leaving the game?

TLDR: guy quit our game and friendship because his place was too small to host the game.

My girlfriend is the DM. She invited a mutual friend of ours to join her DND game she runs. We used to hang out with him and his wife at theirs and play boardgames until life got in the way for us all.

So having missed playing games together, she invited him to join her DND game with 6 players making us 7 now, 8 in total including DM.

We would play at a local gaming club where all we had to do was purchase a drink or something ( no table or booking fees)

Things are great there, lots of table space, loads of terrain free to use. The only issue is occasionally the other tables sometimes being a bit loud with their own game. No big deal. We all get loud and enthusiastic.

This friend suggested we play round his, let's call him Kurt. Kurt said he's got the space for it since he got a new dining table, we wouldn't have to worry about noise so why don't we all go to his for it?

DM and everyone agreed we'll give it a try. Parking isn't ideal, in fact it's very limited space in the area as it's a cul-de-sac. Secondly, we were gaming in the town centre, which is more accessible for some so we all agreed to share rides for those that needed it.

We play a week or two at Kurt's house and it becomes abundantly clear that it's too small. There are 8 of us including the DM crammed around a 6 seater table. With DM screen, character sheets, snacks, drinks, stationary, maps and minis, there just isn't enough room.

We have a couple of large personalities on the table and Kurt joins that to make it a trio. Which is great, but in the confines of that room, it becomes overbearing with the noise.

Except that time his wife (who's in the other room doing her own thing, DND isn't her thing) gets an "important" phone call. So he shushes us, we try to continue playing quietly but he keeps shushing us, so it kills the vibe. So we end up sitting there in silence rather than continue subdued . After about 20 minutes, we discover she's off the phone and we are allowed to continue playing.

Then as the volume ramps up, a few of the less rambunctious players get talked over, even the DM is struggling to be heard from one end of the table to the head where Kurt sits, bellowing his jokes and what he's doing next, without giving anyone else a chance to speak their ideas.

We quickly learn that Kurt has main character syndrome. He wants to check every trap, loot every body, rush through every door etc.

I learned some news that would help the party with the bbg of that session, I try to tell the group 3 times, each time he tells and talks over me. I give up. The session finishes, we go home and I telly.gd how deflated I feel. Turns out, I wasn't the only one. Several other players messaged the DM to say they felt the same way and wanted to go back to the gaming club.

The DM messages Kurt to let him know how people feel and that we'll be returning to the gaming club. She then puts in the group chat that we shall be going back to the gaming club as the room just wasn't big enough with acoustics and table size for us there, thank you Kurt for inviting us into your home, but now we'll be going back to the gaming club.

Kurt then messages everyone in the group individually asking "what's wrong with my house?!" He becomes arsey and the DM said she was handling it as they came to her, as the DM. He gets in a tizz that it's his house, they should've gone to him, that it's not fair!

DM said we'd continue at the club as before, the next time we meet up, we get a message in the group chat saying he's dropping out, that he just doesn't have the time for it anymore.

Did the group do right by addressing issues with the DM not the host?

Did the host overreact messaging everyone directly and in the group?

Did he overreact by leaving the game?

TLDR: guy quit our game and friendship because his place was too small to host the game.