Enjoying this world without feeling guilty?
I want to know how you enjoy this world without feeling guilty you’re enjoying this world too much?
These past few years I got serious about my Deen but then found myself not enjoying this world. Now I can help but feel like I’m missing out.
I never go anywhere or do the types of things I used to enjoy. I didn’t exactly do haram things. I used to enjoy going on days out and i just don’t do that anymore because i have to prioritise my prayers and I don’t like doing wudu in public places, so I just stay home.
This is going to sound so bad but I actually look forward to my menstrual cycle because it gives me a few days off from praying and I can spend longer outside of the house without feeling guilty.
I’ve been struggling with my mental health a lot and recently started listening to music again. It distracts me from my problem a little bit and of course I feel guilty for listening to music.
I also have no friends nearby who I can enjoy a few hours with. I stopped talking to my be fiend over 10 years ago and regret it.
I’m just so sick and tired of life and have been asking Allah SWT to take my soul back. If I could commit suicide I would have done it already.