u/cherryisyummy

hello, i’m infj for context :)

it’s been very fun learning about my bf. he looks up to how energetic & social i can be, exuding confidence (it’s anxiety btw)—as i look up to how smart, kind, sweet, and goal oriented he is.

he reminds me often that he isn’t good with words and isn’t as expressive, which i find ironic bc he does well with words, even if he side eyes (i do too, im not the best w/ words either.) at times, i do have to remind him about things i like & value, and i don’t really think forgetfulness means they don’t care about you, i just think they simply forget.

my bf has human decency, tho sometimes it doesn’t click to him right away if what he did or does came across inconsiderate or rude, that’s just him being authentic without a facade imo

when im upset, he knows. he holds my hand and tries to get it out of me to speak to him about my feelings. although he doesn’t always understand, i know he cares. one time, i was really upset but didn’t know how to explain myself since i tend to ramble, so i wrote a concept map with arrows explaining xyz & then we made up lol.

it’s funny tho, bc sometimes i feel like my bf is nicer than i am with people. sometimes i tend to shut down, but he still acknowledges those that are not the nicest to him..unless he has a ‘valid’ reason to dislike them .

i think when an intj cares or genuinely cares, i feel like they consider you in part of their future plans. they aren’t as expressive either.

also, he’s really introverted in terms of staying home often as i go out w my friends at times. but we’re both homebodies for the most part. i’m happy that he likes my emotions as i used to think i was too much for people. him , on the other hand, told me he was afraid that he wasn’t enough. i like this guy

we come off as contradictions, because we almost—always are; but do you ever wonder why?

have you ever felt this way?

it’s like, you feel too much of everything, no matter your ability to rationalize them, yet the emotion can’t just fade away; where the emotion cannot just rest until it’s completely out of site (is this why we doorslam?).

but when you try to consider all perspectives, both logic and emotions, it feels too much to bare that you almost feel like you’re going to implode. so you isolate yourself, reflect, and cry.

how sad it is, to want to communicate your feelings—but you worry about conflict.. til you realize that your lack of communication, reinforced the issue (self-sacrificing, but seen as selfish).

does it sadden you? because it almost feels like you lack gratitude, to be so hyper-fixated on any conflict—rather than genuinely being grateful to what/who actually cares about you?

why do you do what you do? do you only want to know and create meaning for anything—to feel in control of everything?

are you pleased to help others for them? or is it to runaway from yourself—by finding you, in them?

I find that social media has ruined the idea of love. We tell ourselves that if your partner doesn’t do something specific, it means they don’t love you.

We often compare our relationships with others and question if we’re even ‘doing it right’.

We later expect our partners to be perfect, subconsciously test them, and knit pick every little thing they do or don’t do, and forget they’re human too.

When the storm comes our way, we quickly default into going our separate ways, rather figuring it out together because ‘love should be easy.’ Now, I don’t believe love shouldn’t be easy; effort matters..but sometimes I question if those who deem to be in love, are really just infatuated and hung up on the idea of love.

Sometimes, we think we have to change ourselves to finally be loved, when I wish I could tell you and my past self that your person will look at you and love you just the way you are. This includes your flaws as well. Being with you wouldn’t feel like a chore, rather a blessing. You learn to love yourself even more as you unravel into the person you’ve always been, but hid throughout the years to be accepted by a society that hardly ever love themselves.

i’m not so sure if this is normal, but I just want to know what you all have to say.

My boyfriend doesn’t give me a reason to worry, but sometimes I find myself crying alone and I don’t tell him because I know i’m just being sensitive and I think about things in the past that has nothing to do with him. Whether it’s me being worthy or not.

I just think a lot about other relationships too, and how they’ve come to an end after claiming to be in love. it breaks my heart sometimes, and sometimes I wonder if I am worth fighting for when it comes to the times it gets difficult. My boyfriend is amazing, he has nothing to do with my negative mind. I just wonder ..it’s been a while since i’ve been in a relationship where for once, i’m loved back through words and action.

I’ve had past relationships that never really worked out. I hear about people who’ve been married for years and ended up divorcing and that thought scares me and sometimes makes me sad. Because I question how you can go from loving each other, to parting ways; I just don’t know if I could ever recover from that.

I love, love—but it scares me hearing these stories. :(

I’ve had past relationships that never really worked out. I hear about people who’ve been married for years and ended up divorcing and that thought scares me and sometimes makes me sad. Because I question how you can go from loving each other, to parting ways; I just don’t know if I could ever recover from that.

I love, love—but it scares me hearing these stories. :(

I feel bad because I have noticed that I don’t really ask my boyfriend for help; however, he asks for mine even with the little things and I love helping him. I show my appreciation tons, but sometimes I feel like I love him around and he makes me happy with how he is—I just feel really bad when I don’t ask for help and assume I got it all. If there’s something I’m obviously multitasking on, he insists on helping, but I tell him I got it because I feel bad granted he seems stressed all the time and same time (for once out of everyone i’ve talked to or been with) I enjoy doing things for him effortlessly…