u/chicknnuggget

I met my dog five years ago and she’s always been a picture of health. Despite being 12 at the time I brought her home, besides some teeth build up, you really could not tell that she was advanced in age. Last year, I noticed a cataract begin to develop in her right eye, which prompted a visit to an eye specialist. We did some tests and ultimately, given the nature of the cataract, her age, and the possibility that it could come back or worse, rupture her eye, I decided against the surgery.

In hindsight, it was like the universe helping us to protect her strength and my financial resources for the real battle ahead. Two months later her nostril became clogged. It was hardly noticeable at first and I thought maybe she had a little doggy cold but by the second week, I started to get concerned. You could audibly hear her struggling to breathe as the airflow in her right nostril became almost nonexistent. So we went to the vet.

Our vet suggested two possibilities, a possible tooth infection that was pushing a mass against her nostril cavity or a cancerous growth. So of course, we scheduled an appointment to check her teeth and also collect a sample of what was in her nose. Unfortunately, there was no dental infection, the chances were high that it was cancer and he referred us to an oncologist. Because of her age, he also recommended I be aware that this might give us a couple of months but this would not produce a significant change in our situation. I knew what he was trying to say without saying it.

So I pushed that from my mind and scheduled the oncologist appointment to get a second opinion. By this time, we had been managing this for two months. The oncologist has a fuller opinion that yes, it could give her a couple more months but it could also be years. On the flip side, it could also not be effective at all. Unfortunately, every dog reacts differently.

Then we were given two options, radiation, which would be a two week commitment two hours from home. Much more aggressive but as a result, had a higher chance of impact. Or, a form chemotherapy which was less aggressive that I could give to her in pill form. Less aggressive and often seen as a means to manage rather than cure.

By this time, I was grappling with if I should put her through this or if I was being selfish, unwilling to say goodbye. What continues to be my North Star throughout this experience is that despite everything she and her little body were going through, one thing never changed, which was her appetite. Every morning we had breakfast, and every evening we had dinner. And she loves food. Like genuinely would eat herself into oblivion if given the opportunity. So I hinged my decision on that, so long as she enjoyed her food and found joy in life, I would fight this with her.

So we opted in for ten rounds of radiation. Monday through Friday, for two weeks. Every day she would be put under, given treatment, and then she’d come back to the motel with me and have her late breakfast then her late dinner. To the surprise of everyone, she completed radiation without major complication and relative ease. To be honest, I probably had a more difficult time than she did. I was an emotional wreck.

After the two weeks, they gave us an initial promising prognosis but warned me that radiation takes time and we needed to come back in a couple of weeks to fully understand how the tumor was reacting. So happily, we went home and for the first time in nearly three months, she was breathing easily out of both nostrils. That alone felt like a victory.

A couple weeks after that, we went back for our first check up and I remember our Oncologist coming out with a smile after completing the scans. The first words out of her mouth were, “she’s a very strong lady”. She opened her laptop and showed me that the tumor, to their delight, had shrunk an incredible amount. More than they had even hoped for. At the peak of its size, not only was it pressing against her eye, it was also backing into her brain, threatening to become fatal. Now, they no longer had those concerns. Three months after this visit, we had our second check up, this time, we saw repeated success. This time, the tumor had shrunken to something almost obsolete. The doctor shared that in many scenarios, we’d actually be seeing it starting to regrow. She went on to say, this type of progress meant we didn’t even need to keep our quarterly check ups. Maintaining a close eye on her and having normal check ups with her vet was sufficient to maintaining her health.

And now here we are today, as close to cancer free as we can be. Despite the sleepless nights and financial investment, I have no regrets. Instead, I feel so grateful that even if it’s not forever, the fight was worth her comfort and I was right to listen to her and her appetite.

Thanks for letting me share, this was therapeutic!