My therapist really wants me to go to occupational therapy, and my doctor agreed and wrote a referral for it, but everywhere around us only takes in children. I wonder how much better I would do if I could do OT.
I don't know how to feel about picking at my fingers because on one hand it helps me feel better (and I usually don't even notice I'm doing it) and on the other hand my mum is always sad about it. It is painful and inconvenient, but I don't think it is AWFUL bad. Sometimes my fingers get infected, but not super often. She says I "harm myself" and to me that sounds more like cutting yourself and stuff. Most of the time when I pick and bite at my fingers is in the dark and I don't realize how bad it is til I go to the bathroom and there's blood smeared on my hands.
I am starting a drug for my OCD so I hope that might help it some.
Today I sobbed in the car with my mum after therapy because I am so overwhelmed about learning how to tell when I'm thirsty. I hate that I have to work so hard for things that are supposed to be human nature. I hate that I am having to learn how to drink more liquid in the day. I hate getting overstimulated from having to go pee over and over.
My therapist asked about my heart rate because I got a smart watch and all of this is supposed to lead to recognizing my feelings eventually. But it's hard already and he said my heart rate is high and I told him how it says my heart rate is high when I feel fine and when I'm nervous it is regular and I don't understand why and he said I probably am confused about realizing how I truly feel. I am so frustrated I can't tell when I'm anxious and a stupid watch can tell more than me. I am so confusing and I can't tell my sensations and feelings.
He told me to tell him what I was somatically feeling at that moment and I said what I felt and he said that it was a thought and not a feeling. What even are feelings!!??
Both of my therapists and my mum are all working together trying to get me to drink water and these are just the baby steps but I already want to give up. I'm so tired and confused and upset. My mum said maybe she'll email my therapist about slowing down the pace of my progress and my goals and I feel so stupid because DRINKING is so hard I need to go slower.
My mum and my therapist talked about how I need to try to grow in independence where I can and I am trying so hard and it is so hard. They are just worried about if something happens to my mum and I have a support worker other than her and they will only see me a few days a week so I need to learn how to do some things because they won't be there all of the time to help me. The goal is so I can tell I'm thirsty without a reminder to drink but I don't know can I even do it. And then I'm supposed to learn other stuff and one day hopefully tell my emotions and recognize and understand sensations in my body.
Other people have partners and houses and cars and jobs and families and I am struggling and crying and shutting down and feeling cornered because I have to drink stupid water. I don't want to drink stuff I just want to do stuff I like. I hate have to get up and use the bathroom and I just wanna do my stuff with no interruption and I don't understand why liquids are important. I just wish I was normal so so bad. :(
Please be nice!! Also please excuse the dog hair xD I'm in bed next to my doggy.
I recently saw someone telling someone online that they "probably walk tilting forward" and somebody else clarified that they were implying the user was autistic.
I know autistic people can have unusual gaits, but I was unaware that tilting forward was associated with autism by people.
I always have walked on my toes, and tilted forward. People have always pointed out the toe walking, but I never noticed the tilt until a friend mentioned it one day. xD I usually look at the ground as well.
I was curious how you guys might walk!!
I had been doing good but right now I feel like I should never eat again the things I ate today, because my stomach is so upset and I almost pooped myself and it hurts so bad. I don't want to go back to not being able to eat. But I am so scared of this happening again.
I am very recently diagnosed and realized what may have been my first obsession and compulsion is that I had to wash my hands before flushing the toilet when I was little so that I could run out of the bathroom as fast as possible while the toilet flushed. The reason why is because I was convinced that if I stayed for the toilet flush the whole room would suddenly fill up by a giant room-sized bee and it would sting me to death. I still have no idea how my mind came up with that!! xD
Hi, I am going on a big trip with my mum at the end of August to visit my brother at the small town he lives in in Alaska. I'm from the midwest and we're going to have to take multiple planes and a long bus ride to get there. I'm really really nervous because I've never had such a big trip before. ( ･ั﹏･ั) I've never even been out of the country (we have to go through Canada).
I'm thinking about getting sunflower lanyards for my mum and I, me for my ASD and other stuff and my mum for her MS. But I am not really sure what other stuff will help. I think I read that most airports have sensory rooms now?? That could probably be helpful.
My mum said we'll also ask my psychiatrist for extra medication to help my anxiety while we're travelling. I'm really scared to go on a plane. I haven't been on one since I was 7 and I was too distracted reading Animorphs for the first time to be afraid on the plane back then!! xD But now I worry about everything.
I'm definitely going to bring my noise cancelling headphones and my best bear friend comfort teddy with me on the plane.
I would appreciate any tips from you all!! (人 •͈ᴗ•͈) Thank you for reading.
I think they deleted it (I had saved it to share my own in the comments but it's not there anymore) but their art was super good and I wanted to support their post!! If you are still here, I'd like to see your self portraits again!! :D
I have big eyes that look crazy sometimes because I have small irises and you can see white all around my eyes when I'm just looking around!! Also I have bunny teeth, a big chin, and have lines on the corners of my mouth when I smile. I'm wearing a comfy hoodie and my ear defenders cos I'm sensitive to feeling and noise!! I used to wear my hair in two braids but then I cut it recently to a pixie cut and it's growing out again. :3
It would be fun to see how everyone draws themselves!! \( ╹▽╹ )/
My parents have been gone at our place of worship and I watched the worship on Zoom and I ripped up my lips because I'm anxious and prayed over and over could the building not explode and I'm crying right now because I am so afraid my parents aren't making it home and I swear I will hear an explosion any second. I am so tired of being afraid all of the time and I'm embarrassed because my mum worries when my lips are all bloody and I don't want her to feel bad.
I'm also scared that I'm faking this and I'm crying just for an invisible audience and really I'm trying to manipulate my loved ones and all of my therapists and doctors because really nothing is wrong with me.
I'm so so tired. I need more help. :(
Wondering if I'll be diagnosed my next psychiatrist appointment. My therapist thinks I have it.
1st pic- current painting
last pic- first painting (the gift that got me into this hobby!!)
I'm on my fourth diamond painting now, and whenever I see people's WIPs I get so confused. Does pretty much everybody work on their paintings section by section?? Am I doing something wrong??
I go color-by-color one color at a time and have fun scanning the whole painting from top to bottom to find EVERYWHERE I need to place that color. I use a sheet of parchment paper to cover where my arms rest, and shift it down as I complete "rows." Am I going to regret doing things this way when it comes to big paintings??
How do you all switch from color to color so much for your little square sections you do?? Are you constantly going from baggie to baggie to change colors?? Are you dumping out the little packets into baggies immediately to make them easier to get in and out of?? I don't have enough baggies to do that, so should I order more??
I'm so curious because I think I'm doing this wrong. (╥﹏╥) And if this is a bad habit I should put an end to, I'd like to stop it!! I'm just kind of unsure how you guys are doing this. Sorry for being dumb!! (´；ω；｀) Please help me...
I am so anxious for my multimeeting next week. My caseworker comes to my house with my behavioral therapist and someone from the company that employs my mum to be my caregiver. Of course, my mum will be there, which always helps me feel a little better. But I haven't had my outside support for two months since my Medicaid was suspended and we were unsure if stuff would still be paid for the waiver. (thankfully it's back now, there was a glitch when I started getting SSI and they needed to a lot to override it) So I haven't talked to my people in a while and I am really nervous. ( ･ั﹏･ั)
I am scared I will cry in front of everyone and also always I get so sweaty and my stomach gets upset. Also I am not sure what we will talk about because I haven't had my services for a couple months.
Is there anything any of you do to prepare for a multimeeting??
Reuploading because I think I put too many pictures!! Hi!! Please be nice, I am very sensitive. (･ัω･ั) And kind of scared to post this cos I am shy about my art and delete my stuff over and over.
I want to try drawing more and taking my art a little more seriously and really trying to improve. I have no idea what people think of my different styles (I think I have around 3 of them) and have some questions I'd like to ask if you'd please help me get some feedback!!
How would you describe/what would you call my different styles of drawing??
Can you tell all of these were drawn by the same person?? Like, do I have any shared traits throughout all my art that makes it feel like I drew it??
Is there anything unique about my art, or does it look samey and boring??
Which style is your favorite??
Sorry these are kind of rough, and thank you for hearing me out!! You don't have to answer all of the questions if you comment. No pressure!! (• ▽ •;)
Hi!! Please be nice, I am very sensitive. (･ัω･ั) And kind of scared to post this cos I am shy about my art and delete my stuff over and over.
I want to try drawing more and taking my art a little more seriously and really trying to improve. I have no idea what people think of my different styles (I think I have around 3 of them) and have some questions I'd like to ask if you'd please help me get some feedback!!
How would you describe/what would you call my different styles of drawing??
Can you tell all of these were drawn by the same person?? Like, do I have any shared traits throughout all my art that makes it feel like I drew it??
Is there anything unique about my art, or does it look samey and boring??
Which style is your favorite??
Sorry these are kind of rough, and thank you for hearing me out!! You don't have to answer all of the questions if you comment. No pressure!! (• ▽ •;)