u/cutemurderboy

(To start out, I’m not looking for responses from anyone who is anti Christianity, i understand you don’t agree with it but it’s my personal beliefs and I’m looking for answers from those of you who are Christian but also diagnosed with schizophrenia or psychosis.)

So I developed and was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago, and since then I avoided churches, the Bible and Christianity overall because my schizophrenia began to severely affect how I saw God, Jesus, all of it. It would give me hallucinations, voices, delusions and anxiety if I ever did anything related to Christianity like go to church, read the Bible, or try to connect with God.

My mind would tell me God hated me and wanted me dead. Even now, I’ve been trying to get back into it as I really do desire a relationship with Him, but the schizophrenia has severely damaged everything when it comes to it. It torments me to be honest about it

And it still affects me when I try to do any of it. I bought myself a more simple worded Bible recently, because I wanted to try and read it again, but every time I read any verses about how God has destroyed certain things or killed certain people, or even just done things for his will that had to be done but were sort of terrible and had to be, my mind without fail always tells me “oh, God is telling you this because that’s going to be you, he’s speaking directly to you with those verses only and telling you these things, that he’s going to destroy you and ruin your family”. I don’t even know why.

And I try to ask God for answers but my mind twists everything, and I don’t know if I’m reading the Bible wrong or what. It’s getting to the point where I just am too anxious to even open the Bible again or pray. And I pray that God would help me with this. But i still am stuck in the same cycle. And it feels like i have no answers.

This is to say I wanted to ask you all especially those of you who have had bad religious psychosis episodes in the past like me, how did you get yourself to recover your relationship with God after? How did you convince yourself that God loved you after all of that, and that your mental health condition wasn’t stopping you from connecting with God entirely? And cope with feeling condemned constantly.

It’s been over 4 years now for me and nothing has changed I’ve come to realize. I’ve honestly cried about it a lot. And I just want things to go back to normal again, I don’t know what I did wrong. I’ve repented of everything I could think of and changed my ways back from when I avoided God. I just want our relationship back again and to feel peace when I’m near him again.

Basically what the title says, I was wondering for those of you who also are Christian and have schizophrenia like me, how did you recover your relationship with God after how past episodes have affected your perspective of Him and relationship with him? It’s been over 4 years and it still seems to affect me no matter what I’ve tried.

So for context I dyed my hair black (a natural black color) to match my original hair color for a while after my original dyed red hair had faded. Now the black dye has somewhat faded to where you can see most of the original faded reddish parts again, but the majority of my hair that was dyed back to its original dark color looks more of a somewhat darker brownish red.

The black color honestly wasn’t a very good hair dye to begin with, I can’t remember the name unfortunately as it was months ago and I don’t have the original box, but it was a box dye that I think was like garnier nutrisse (probably spelling that wrong but yeah.)

I am wondering what are some (possibly natural/easier) ways I can wash out and remove more of the dark dye I put into it? I know there are color removers but I don’t know if I want to resort to using chemicals right away.

I do have hair repair masks and such I can use, I’ve only bleached my hair once, only one time for the red color I had gotten done. and it took very well so I don’t have a whole ton of damage like someone might who’s done it multiple times before.

I will mention, I do plan to go to an actual salon if I get my hair dyed back to red again, however I just needed suggestions to remove most of the black color as I don’t need it anymore and a large majority of my hair has grown out again anyhow, so if I do need to just cut the dyed parts off it would be fine too (just.. shorter than I would prefer it but I’d be okay with it either way.)

What are some good apps for logging your alter switches and that? Since that one app everyone uses is defunct now (I can’t remember the name)

I don’t know where else to ask this to be honest.

No joke they keep doing it almost every night, or it is possibly their spirits attacking me as well, it was over just a regular friendship breakup and unfortunately he’s the type of person to be extremely hateful towards others when he perceives they have done wrong even if they didn’t do anything harmful to him. And I never did anything wrong to him at all. I’m genuinely so tired of it and I want it to stop completely and banish and remove his influence completely from my life.

I’ve even prayed against it but nothing will stop it unfortunately. I believe he possibly attached something to me or is using magic on me in the astral as well as my energy is being drained and pain caused to my body as well as confusion and psychic attacks. And he’s literally using it to sexually assault me as well when I go to bed.

I don’t know what to do anymore about it, I’ve tried everything I could. I unfortunately can’t astral project well enough myself to set up any defenses in the astral etc. the only reason I know it’s him or his sprits is because every time this happens I get mental images etc of him out of nowhere even when im not thinking about any of it. And I can definitely feel and sense everything even if I can’t see it. I haven’t thought of it for an entire month now but still it keeps happening.

If anyone can help me please do. Thanks.

So a while back I started resonating with nine tail foxes a lot. Basically what I think happened is my interests in that stuff became its own “person”?

Because what has happened is within this past year and 2025 I’ve had times where I had someone else control my body when I was under high stress etc. to where I even blacked out a few times. and also I suspected it was an new alter so what I did once was ask it to come out and normally this never happens but for some reason i literally woke up that next day to my voice sounding completely different and not like me at all, even my family was like “do you have a cold or something?” Because my voice sounded strange and that entire day I felt very much not like myself.

Problem is this alter seems to identify as a nine tailed fox and that would be fine other than the fact it’s been causing us a lot of body dysphoria and all of these other things. And they’ve been around for about a year now from what I can tell but I didn’t realize it until recently, or maybe longer than that im not sure. I just don’t know what to do about the body dysphoria and that. Like they want to look more like some magical looking person and yeah we cant change our appearance that drastically at least not yet. I’d also be fine with it if it wasn’t for the fact that I have another alter too who likes to express himself through our appearance as well at times and has for years now. Another one of us used to do that all the time as well but he went into dormancy again after he did his job again so to speak

I need prayers against spiritual attack as I recently left some demonic witchcraft stuff that wasn’t good for me, got rid of some demonic items as well and since then have been spiritually attacked every night now. It makes it difficult to sleep and the only thing that protects me is Jesus.

Please pray me, my family, friends and home are completely protected from any demonic forces and that it would be revealed to me if anything else needs to be removed as well.

I’m constantly being harassed and spiritually attacked by a ex friend of mine since we stopped being friends. He even kept astral projecting to my house and my other friends houses and harassing them as well, and also trying to spiritually affect me with witchcraft.

It got so bad I had to contact his mom about it and tell her about what he was doing, but I don’t know if she’s just going to try and put things against me or not. I would appreciate prayers that me, my family and formed are protected and none of this results in any legal issues or anything. I’m genuinely just tired and want it to stop.

So I’ve been trying to astral project for the past year about, I’ve had some rare successful attempts that all only had happened during sleep paralysis, but I am wondering how can I do this without having to go to sleep?

I struggle to astral project for some reason. I’ve tried the gateway tapes but I honestly didn’t like them much and decided to try and do it myself instead. I only successfully left my body while awake laying in bed only once but I can’t remember what I did. All I know is I have to get my mind into that half asleep state to fully separate from my body, even if my body falls asleep completely before that.

Issue is I keep falling asleep every time I try to do this. Are there any techniques I can use or things I can do during the day that may help me be able to at least be aware of things still so I can fully project and not just… accidentally fall asleep?

I’m very motivated to do it, it’s just no matter how many times I’ve tried my mind doesn’t want to get into that state, even if my body falls asleep completely. And it’s like if my mind does get into that state I have to fight to keep myself awake right before I fall out of my body, or else I’ll quickly fall asleep. Any advice helps.