u/cutie_pie7156

So my boyfriend and I have been together since December 2022 and we now live together with our two kids. I have a son from and previous marriage and so does he. My son is 11 and his is 10 and they get along for the most part but there’s some things that my son has brought to my attention I’m not happy about.

His son watches YouTube videos on his tablet and I’v walked by his room I’ve heard it saying sexual things, cuss words, violence, etc. I’ve brought this to my boyfriend’s attention so many times and he’ll just go in his room and be like “what’re you watching turn that off.” And then just walk out. He never even looks at what he’s watching just says to turn it off and walks out and obviously he doesn’t listen and just goes right back to it. My son has came up to me a few times about it and said he’s showed him videos that aren’t appropriate and I’ve told my bf and I feel like he just doesn’t want to deal with it.

Another thing is he will just go in the kitchen and just take whatever snacks such as snack cakes, chips stuff like that without asking. I’ve been telling my bf he shouldn’t be in there just constantly snacking he needs to eat actual food. He’s ate a whole box of honey buns I just bought that morning and they were gone by that night he snuck in there and got them and we didn’t know and found the box and wrappers in there and they were all gone. Again my bf did nothing about it. Also I was in there making spaghetti one night and stepped away to use the bathroom and came back to him running out of the kitchen I looked in his room and he’s eating a honey bun and I told him he doesn’t need to eat that I’m making dinner but he was already in the middle of eating it. I tried to tell my bf and he said “well he probably won’t eat it anyway.” He’s a very picky eater and most of the time won’t eat what I make for dinner and I have to make him separate things. He won’t try anything I make either that I know he would like. For example he likes hamburgers from fast food places but will refuse to even try the hamburgers I make at him so if I make it I have to make him chicken nuggets instead. I told my boyfriend I understand if it’s something he actually doesn’t like but I know he likes it I wish he would just try it because I hate making separate things every night.

He picks his nose still and wipes it on things. It’s so freaking disgusting it makes me sick to my stomach anytime I see it I make him go wash his hands but it’s like a bad habit that’s not getting corrected. I was talking to his mom about it and she laughs, I don’t understand how that’s funny that he’s wiping his snot everywhere. I caught him today sitting on the couch picking his nose and when I walked in he tried to hide what he was doing and wiped it on his cloths, again told my bf and does nothing about it.

He’s been so disrespectful and talking back lately and I understand he’s a kid and all kids especially that age will talk back but it’s gotten a bit extreme. Anytime his dad or I try to tell him anything he doesn’t listen and will just do it anyway but he knows my bf won’t do anything about it. I just don’t know what to do at this point I’m about to lose it I don’t know if I should call his mom and talk to her or what I feel like it’s not my place because I’m not his mom but at the same point this is affecting me and my son. I also wanna have a conversation with my boyfriend because it’s his fault for not correcting his behavior but I don’t know how to bring it up to him without him getting defensive. It’s just been a lot.

So my boyfriend and I have been together since December 2022 and we now live together with our two kids. I have a son from and previous marriage and so does he. My son is 11 and his is 10 and they get along for the most part but there’s some things that my son has brought to my attention I’m not happy about.

His son watches YouTube videos on his tablet and I’v walked by his room I’ve heard it saying sexual things, cuss words, violence, etc. I’ve brought this to my boyfriend’s attention so many times and he’ll just go in his room and be like “what’re you watching turn that off.” And then just walk out. He never even looks at what he’s watching just says to turn it off and walks out and obviously he doesn’t listen and just goes right back to it. My son has came up to me a few times about it and said he’s showed him videos that aren’t appropriate and I’ve told my bf and I feel like he just doesn’t want to deal with it.

Another thing is he will just go in the kitchen and just take whatever snacks such as snack cakes, chips stuff like that without asking. I’ve been telling my bf he shouldn’t be in there just constantly snacking he needs to eat actual food. He’s ate a whole box of honey buns I just bought that morning and they were gone by that night he snuck in there and got them and we didn’t know and found the box and wrappers in there and they were all gone. Again my bf did nothing about it. Also I was in there making spaghetti one night and stepped away to use the bathroom and came back to him running out of the kitchen I looked in his room and he’s eating a honey bun and I told him he doesn’t need to eat that I’m making dinner but he was already in the middle of eating it. I tried to tell my bf and he said “well he probably won’t eat it anyway.” He’s a very picky eater and most of the time won’t eat what I make for dinner and I have to make him separate things. He won’t try anything I make either that I know he would like. For example he likes hamburgers from fast food places but will refuse to even try the hamburgers I make at him so if I make it I have to make him chicken nuggets instead. I told my boyfriend I understand if it’s something he actually doesn’t like but I know he likes it I wish he would just try it because I hate making separate things every night.

He picks his nose still and wipes it on things. It’s so freaking disgusting it makes me sick to my stomach anytime I see it I make him go wash his hands but it’s like a bad habit that’s not getting corrected. I was talking to his mom about it and she laughs, I don’t understand how that’s funny that he’s wiping his snot everywhere. I caught him today sitting on the couch picking his nose and when I walked in he tried to hide what he was doing and wiped it on his cloths, again told my bf and does nothing about it.

He’s been so disrespectful and talking back lately and I understand he’s a kid and all kids especially that age will talk back but it’s gotten a bit extreme. Anytime his dad or I try to tell him anything he doesn’t listen and will just do it anyway but he knows my bf won’t do anything about it. I just don’t know what to do at this point I’m about to lose it I don’t know if I should call his mom and talk to her or what I feel like it’s not my place because I’m not his mom but at the same point this is affecting me and my son. I also wanna have a conversation with my boyfriend because it’s his fault for not correcting his behavior but I don’t know how to bring it up to him without him getting defensive. It’s just been a lot.

So I just had my interview yesterday and got the call today I got the position. She asked if I could come in to do orientation tomorrow from 9am-2pm. When do you think she’ll have me actually start? Tomorrow’s Thursday I wasn’t expecting to start anything until next week I already have plans on Saturday that I’ve had planned for a few weeks. Do you think they’ll ask me to come in on Saturday? And if so would it be bad to say I had plans? I don’t want it to make me look bad just starting a new job.

So my bf and I have been together for years we share no kids together but we both have kids from previous relationships. Our kids call us step mom/step dad and call each other step siblings.

Well last month for Mother’s Day I took my step son out and let him pick his mom out flowers to give to her for Mother’s Day and also got my bfs mom flowers for him to give to her. I didn’t even get a “happy Mother’s Day.” From my bf or didn’t receive anything. I’m not going to lie I was pretty hurt that he didn’t at least tell me because we’ve been parters for years and he says he considers me a step mom to his son. In the past he’s got me stuff or at least told me but this year he didn’t.

Anyway today’s Father’s Day and honestly I might be petty for this but I didn’t text him and say happy father’s day this morning (bc he didn’t for me) so why should I? He’s working today until 4 and he works 45 minutes away from where we live and he texted me and said I should bring him lunch. A part of me wants to for Father’s Day but another part of me says no why should I when I got nothing for Mother’s Day. So I ended up just saying why don’t you get something delivered. He read it and never replied so I think he’s upset. AITAH? I hate being like this bc I love doing things for holidays and giving people gifts I’m just so tired of always giving and never receiving and not feeling appreciated. The same thing happened on Valentine’s Day I went out of my way and made him a craft with our pictures and bought him his favorite snacks and made a cute thing for him and I got nothing other than him paying for dinner bc I asked his if we could go out to eat. I just wanna give the same energy back anymore I’m tired of it.

So my bf and I have been together for years we share no kids together but we both have kids from previous relationships. Our kids call us step mom/step dad and call each other step siblings.

Well last month for Mother’s Day I took my step son out and let him pick his mom out flowers to give to her for Mother’s Day and also got my bfs mom flowers for him to give to her. I didn’t even get a “happy Mother’s Day.” From my bf or didn’t receive anything. I’m not going to lie I was pretty hurt that he didn’t at least tell me because we’ve been parters for years and he says he considers me a step mom to his son. In the past he’s got me stuff or at least told me but this year he didn’t.

Anyway today’s Father’s Day and honestly I might be petty for this but I didn’t text him and say happy father’s day this morning (bc he didn’t for me) so why should I? He’s working today until 4 and he works 45 minutes away from where we live and he texted me and said I should bring him lunch. A part of me wants to for Father’s Day but another part of me says no why should I when I got nothing for Mother’s Day. So I ended up just saying why don’t you get something delivered. He read it and never replied so I think he’s upset 😅 AIOR? I hate being like this bc I love doing things for holidays and giving people gifts I’m just so tired of always giving and never receiving and not feeling appreciated. The same thing happened on Valentine’s Day I went out of my way and made him a craft with our pictures and bought him his favorite snacks and made a cute thing for him and I got nothing other than him paying for dinner bc I asked his if we could go out to eat. I just wanna give the same energy back anymore I’m tired of it.

So I still think about this off and on and I’ve never told anyone except my ex husband about what happened but it still confuses me.

So my grandparents weren’t like the typical grandparents, my grandpa was (still is) an alcoholic. He had like scheduled days he would drink but even days he wouldn’t drink he was always really mean and hateful towards my grandma I always felt so bad for her because my grandma is the sweetest person. She is such a beautiful soul and I always thought she deserved so much better.

I was never close with my grandpa, ever time we would come over to visit he would just sit in the living room watching tv and wouldn’t go out of his way to talk or spend time with us unless we came to him. He never came to any of our sporting events, birthdays nothing like that he was always the type of person that showed his love by giving us money. My grandma on the other hand would always come to our events and would spend time with us. They had a pool and she would always take the grandkids night swimming with her and would have movie nights, things like that but my grandpa never joined us in anything we did.

I didn’t stay all night with my grandparents a whole lot growing up my mom didn’t like for us to stay because like I said my grandpa was an alcoholic so we were only aloud to stay nights when we knew he wouldn’t be drinking. Anyway one night when I was 13 my grandma asked if I wanted to stay the night and us have a girls night and watch movies together. My brother didn’t stay with me that night it was just me and my grandma. We stayed up watching movies, eating popcorn, and doing each others hair. It was honestly one of my favorite memories with my grandma we had such a good night.

That night we stayed in my grandparents room the whole time and my grandpa stayed in the living room watching tv. We eventually got tired and went to sleep, so my grandma was asleep on the right side of the bed and she was asleep on her side facing the other side of the room. I was on her left side also laying on my side facing her. I was asleep and then all of a sudden I hear my grandpa come in the room and he comes and gets in bed beside me. So I’m in the middle of my grandparents at this point. So like I said I’m 13 year old girl just now starting to hit puberty and my boobs are just now starting to come in. Anyway he comes and lays beside me and I feel his hand start to go up my shirt, at this point I was awake but I was pretending to be asleep and I’m just in absolutely shock, I didn’t know what to do I felt like I couldn’t get myself to move or speak I was just completely froze. He goes up and grabs ahold of my boob and just holds it, I laid there for probably about 10-15 minutes and I did try a few times to pretend to move in my sleep to get him off me and everytime I would try he would just reposition himself to keep holding me. Finally I got the courage to “get up and use the bathroom” and I just went to the other room. I stayed awake almost the whole night just in shocked and freaked out. I was too embarrassed and scared to say anything to anyone so I never did.

After that night I never stayed there alone again. Anytime I was there I stayed when my brother or other family was there. But now looking back I do remember when I would stay the night and sleep in the guest room I would hear my grandpa get in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and he would always open the door and stare at me for a few seconds and walk away. I alway thought it was odd but I never really thought more into it until I got older how creepy it was and made me feel.

But I still doubt myself and think “did he just think I was my grandma?” “Was he drinking that night and we not know it?” But I really don’t think he was drinking that night I remember him just laying watching tv that whole night and he knew I was in bed with my grandma. I don’t know this situation still has me shook up.

So I still think about this off and on and I’ve never told anyone except my ex husband about what happened but it still confuses me but I need to know if I’m AIO.

So my grandparents weren’t like the typical grandparents, my grandpa was (still is) an alcoholic. He had like scheduled days he would drink but even days he wouldn’t drink he was always really mean and hateful towards my grandma I always felt so bad for her because my grandma is the sweetest person. She is such a beautiful soul and I always thought she deserved so much better.

I was never close with my grandpa, ever time we would come over to visit he would just sit in the living room watching tv and wouldn’t go out of his way to talk or spend time with us unless we came to him. He never came to any of our sporting events, birthdays nothing like that he was always the type of person that showed his love by giving us money. My grandma on the other hand would always come to our events and would spend time with us. They had a pool and she would always take the grandkids night swimming with her and would have movie nights, things like that but my grandpa never joined us in anything we did.

I didn’t stay all night with my grandparents a whole lot growing up my mom didn’t like for us to stay because like I said my grandpa was an alcoholic so we were only aloud to stay nights when we knew he wouldn’t be drinking. Anyway one night when I was 13 my grandma asked if I wanted to stay the night and us have a girls night and watch movies together. My brother didn’t stay with me that night it was just me and my grandma. We stayed up watching movies, eating popcorn, and doing each others hair. It was honestly one of my favorite memories with my grandma we had such a good night.

That night we stayed in my grandparents room the whole time and my grandpa stayed in the living room watching tv. We eventually got tired and went to sleep, so my grandma was asleep on the right side of the bed and she was asleep on her side facing the other side of the room. I was on her left side also laying on my side facing her. I was asleep and then all of a sudden I hear my grandpa come in the room and he comes and gets in bed beside me. So I’m in the middle of my grandparents at this point. So like I said I’m 13 year old girl just now starting to hit puberty and my boobs are just now starting to come in. Anyway he comes and lays beside me and I feel his hand start to go up my shirt, at this point I was awake but I was pretending to be asleep and I’m just in absolutely shock, I didn’t know what to do I felt like I couldn’t get myself to move or speak I was just completely froze. He goes up and grabs ahold of my boob and just holds it, I laid there for probably about 10-15 minutes and I did try a few times to pretend to move in my sleep to get him off me and everytime I would try he would just reposition himself to keep holding me. Finally I got the courage to “get up and use the bathroom” and I just went to the other room. I stayed awake almost the whole night just in shocked and freaked out. I was too embarrassed and scared to say anything to anyone so I never did.

After that night I never stayed there alone again. Anytime I was there I stayed when my brother or other family was there. But now looking back I do remember when I would stay the night and sleep in the guest room I would hear my grandpa get in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and he would always open the door and stare at me for a few seconds and walk away. I alway thought it was odd but I never really thought more into it until I got older how creepy it was and made me feel.

But I still doubt myself and think “did he just think I was my grandma?” “Was he drinking that night and we not know it?” But I really don’t think he was drinking that night I remember him just laying watching tv that whole night and he knew I was in bed with my grandma. I don’t know this situation still has me shook up.

So I work at a daycare and I cook lunch for the center and I go in a classroom in the evening. Well today, I was taking over the toddlers lunch and I noticed this little girl in a highchair, and my coworker was looking at her legs. She turns around and sees me and said the little girl threw a toy at another child so she went to put her in time out, and she was trying to put her in the highchair but the little girl was fighting her and she was aggressive with her trying to get her in this highchair and she left indents on her leg from trying to force her in there she also told me she was squeezing her arms and knew she was doing it tight and knew she was getting mad so she had to stop and take a breather and turn around. When I looked at the little girls’s legs, I could see the imprint from the highchair on her legs. I waited to see if my coworker would report this incident and make an incident report because that’s what we have to do when a kid has an injury but she never reported it so I thought that was weird so I went and told my boss about it and they went back on cameras and watched the video. My boss came to me afterwards and said it didn’t look as bad as what I thought it would and she’s just not allowed to be with the little ones anymore she’s only aloud to be with the older kids. well now everybody at my work is pissed at me because I told on her am I overreacting and making a big deal about this? If that was my 2 year old child I would be pissed especially for her not reporting it. I feel like my boss it down playing the situation.

I don’t have a lot of friends to talk to so I came here to vent and ask advice on how I should bring this up to my bf or even see if I’m overreacting for being upset. So my boyfriend and I have been together for years and he has a kid from a previous relationship and I have one also from a previous relationship. Well the day before Mother’s Day I went to the store and took my step son with me and let him pick out flowers to give to his mom and I got my mom flowers and also my boyfriends mom flowers. Mother’s Day came the next day and my boyfriend never told me happy Mother’s Day or even acknowledged it being Mother’s Day. He texted and told his mom and when my step sons mom came to pick him up he walked out with him and opened the car door for him to give his mom the flowers but that was about it. I ended up taking my son out and we had a mother son day. I came home to him just sitting on his video games I thought if I didn’t get me anything maybe he would at least fold the laundry because we just got back from vacation and it was piled up and needed folded but instead he just left it for me to do. I was pissed. Later that night we go to get in bed and he just had the clean laundry all dumped out on our bed so I just started folding them all and he got the hint I was upset and he started helping me but we didn’t speak and after I was done I just went to bed. It honestly just upsets me that he puts in no effort, he also didn’t get me anything for Valentine’s Day either when I went all out for him. It makes me not even excited for holidays anymore.