u/danyixa

So last week I came here discussing body image issues I’ve been dealing with. I’ve done a lot of reflecting and journaling about my body image issues with ballet. I almost threw in the towel out of fear that ballet would make things worse for me, but I didn’t. I decided to continue with ballet, because I remembered how happy I felt during class practicing at home. I realized it wasn’t worth throwing it all away because I had a difficult moment in my life.

My biggest insecurity lately has been my legs, and I realize it came from consuming lots of dance related content online where I was seeing people who I wish I looked like. My legs aren’t thin, I have thick thighs. Out of everyone in my class I’m one of the curvier ones. I do have strong legs which I now see can be beneficial for my dancing. I do wish my legs were more muscular at times.

I never really was super athletic or into sports. I did dance, jazz and modern for a few years as a kid and eventually got bored of it. In my younger years I felt like physical activity wouldn’t even be possible for me because of how my body is built. I do see how these moments really shaped how I see myself as a dancer. But I realize now none of that is true.

I deserve to be kinder to myself, and everyone here deserves the same as well. Starting ballet as an adult is HARD. There’s a lot of stigma in the dance world starting as an adult, part of being that we don’t have the “right bodies”. In my class there are people of all walks of life that do amazing! It’s tempting to want to follow what the mainstream says, but you really have to experience things first before even coming to conclusions.

Thank you all for the help! This was eye opening.

I’ve been at ballet for a month and I really love it. I posted in this sub last month with concerns that I may not be able to dance due to my body type. Well, I’ve learned that stuff is wrong because I am picking it up quick and I’m also practicing a lot at home which helps. But also, I just feel exhausted with a lot of the body image stuff which I’m trying to work through. My studio is also very inclusive which is a huge plus for me, so I could be doing a whole lot worse.

But I need boundaries surrounding ballet. With my body dysmorphia I sometimes do worry that maybe I won’t be able to do harder stuff because of my body type. I’ve lost weight too recently. Social media really doesn’t make things better so I’m aggressively curating my feed so I see as little ballet content as possible.

Problem is, I just don’t know HOW to set the boundaries aside from the social media stuff. I’m hoping someone here might understand because starting as an adult can be hard. There is a lot of stigma attached to it too which is quite unnecessary! I really don’t want ballet to be one of those things I have to leave because it’s mentally taxing. I’d really hate to do it because I love it, and I don’t want my teacher or the studio owner to think they did something wrong because they didn’t. In fact I’m always very happy in class, but at home I’m a mess.

As of last year I’ve lost about 15 pounds. Weight loss has been slow. While I do understand people need these medications for diabetes, or weight loss because they have a condition that makes it difficult, it is hard for me to see people on these medications lose so much weight fast, especially when patience during this weight loss journey has been rather difficult for me.

I know I should be thankful to be in a position that I’m not sick to the point I need these medications. I should be thankful I don’t have a physical disability or a health condition that would make exercise or losing weight hard. But also, I’ve been fighting my body for so long, I really just want a quick fix to be done with this pain.

I have a friend who is going to get on ozempic, and have weight loss surgery. I’m happy for her as all her life she dealt with weight issues stemming from health issues. But then sometimes I get in my own head wondering how different life would be if I could just have lost all the weight I wanted by now if I took those medications or got surgery.

Like I said, I’m glad I’m not sick to the point I need those medications or surgery. I just want to be done with constantly feeling bad about myself. I get exhausted waiting for the weight to come off. I started a new diet to change things and I’ve lost 3 pounds in a month. I exercise a lot, and eat a very healthy diet. But in the end I’m not special, weight loss isn’t just going to come right away because I’m upset that it’s going slow.

My ask is this, with so many people losing weight on ozempic and GLP-1s, how can I feel comfortable in my progress while seeing others lose weight faster than me while on those medications?

I take 4 classes a month. Due to the work I do and the availability of my studio’s class schedule sometimes I don’t do 4 a month but maybe 2-3. This doesn’t bother me too much because as long I’m doing Pilates I’m fine. I find that I can be stiff because I focus on making sure I’m doing things right. But then eventually I need my posture corrected 🤣

I feel like at 3 months I should have the hang of it. If it’s of any use I work in tech so it’s a desk job therefore I wonder if it’s impacting me when I do Pilates. What can I do at home to improve posture while on the reformer?

I’m kind of bottom heavy, I’m a woman and I’m aware it’s just a natural fat storage for us. But it’s causing me a lot of insecurity lately. I work out a lot as I’m trying to lose weight so far, I lost 13 pounds so far. I work a lot on weights and cardio. I also dance a lot, and I do Pilates. I eat very healthy so my lifestyle in general is healthy. But one thing bothers me and it is my bottom part of my body starting from my waist. It’s not like I’m carrying a whole ton of extra weight and I’m not even considered fat.

I have strong legs from dancing and other weight workouts I do, which I see as a benefit. But I hate how my body just stores fat. I go to the gym and I don’t see anyone who looks exactly like me. I just started adult ballet and while it is an accepting environment, when I practice at home I watch YouTube videos to learn and the dancers don’t look like me. So when I mess up I wonder if my body is the problem. Ive been at Pilates since April, I sometimes need help compared to other people there because out of everyone im the shortest.

Even going to the gym can be triggering. When I was there last I literally had a whole wave of body dysmorphia hit me. Then for the rest of the day I cried. I even wonder what’s the point of hitting the gym if it ends up hurting me this bad? Therapy doesn’t seem to help. I realized that maybe this is a struggle I’ll have to endure for the rest of my life, and I’ll just need to learn to live with it.

This sounds intense but I’m starting to question what I’ve done so wrong to have these problems in the first place. I thought Jesus would save me, but it looks like I’m not even saved yet. I just don’t get how Christians can say if you put your faith in Jesus and be saved from whatever problem you have, but there are many people who strongly believe in Jesus but still struggle with some kind of issue.

It hasn’t been really helpful for me to constantly hear messages that I need to pray more, I need to get off of social media, I need to look at myself more than others, I need to read my bible, you name it, I’ve done all the things but I still struggle, even therapy hasn’t helped a whole ton and I’ve gone through many therapists already.

Maybe I need to accept this is a struggle I have to bear, and maybe God wants me to suffer from it for whatever reason that may be. I just pains to see me how some people can put their faith in Jesus and life gets easier, but I’ve been a Christian my whole life and somehow I’m still stuck with this problem.

I’m 5’1 with thick thighs and triple D breast size. I’m pretty worried I might not be allowed to even do the class because of my size. I’ve been practicing at home through YouTube just so I won’t end up behind in class. It’s my first time doing ballet ever. At home I do tap, but I’m also very active at the gym and I do Pilates.

I would like to ask though, how likely is it for a beginner adult class that I may not be allowed to continue because of my size?

I wanted to ask here as I’ve been wrestling a lot with my faith. I’m part of the Catholic denomination which I love. However lately my faith has been really giving me problems. I question why bad people seem to get blessed, while I have done what I could to be a better Christian and yet I still struggle with depression, low self esteem, and trauma. I decided last September to go back to church again (I had a poor relationship with the Church in general, and it wasn’t just the Catholic Church but Protestant churches too). I thought it would make me happier, but nope, I ended up getting depressed more than ever.

I was on TikTok and saw a lot about manifestation, witchcraft, etc.. and how you can get what you want by doing these things. To be honest when I saw those videos it made me even more upset, because now I’m confused. Would have I had a better life if I practiced those things? but also, should I even be doing those things if I’m Christian when the Bible says not to?

I ended up being in this mindset where I was constantly questioning if I was doing something right or not because I was afraid of sinning. I felt like I had no control in my life because I thought God would just give me whatever he wanted me to endure. I also recently dealt with family problems, where family I’m estranged from decided to invade my privacy. Since then these feelings have amplified. Maybe I could use a therapist but I don’t know how I’d even bring this up in therapy. I feel like this is something a religious or spiritual leader would know better about.

I decided maybe being too religious hasn’t been doing me any favors, so I need to seek a more spiritual path while maintaining my Christian beliefs. I want to stay away from popular spiritual practices such as tarot for divination (self reflective practices I’m more okay with depending how it’s done), crystal healing, and smoke cleansing.

Has anyone gone through the same?

Believe me I tried EVERYTHING. Tried bumble bff, tried to find local events and there’s none, etc.. nothing works. All of my friends are far away or online. I’m grateful for them but I wish I had people closer to me. My parents tell me I’m a social butterfly which I cannot believe because if I did I’d have a group of girlfriends by now.

I’m also convinced what I do for work certainly doesn’t help. I’ve been convinced of this for years. I work in tech where women are a minority. It can certainly be a lifestyle for sure, and I can see how women may feel wary being friends with me for that. I understand because of what I do maybe to some
Women I don’t fit into certain expectations of femininity like the way they do so they see nothing in common with me. Oh well, might as well let these people be. I’m 27 if that helps.

I tried changing myself too and honestly? It made
Me even angrier in the end. I tried getting into activities like Pilates because apparently thats popular among women. I tried dressing differently. Made it obvious I do these things in my bumble bff profile. Still didnt work. Heck I was getting so desperate to figure out whats wrong with my profile on the app that I asked ChatGPT and made changes to it. Wild, I know, but the stuff you do looking for answers is wild too.

I’m fighting on should I bring this up uto my therapist, because I can’t control if people wanna be friends with me or not. Maybe at least I’ll get feelings out.

So if any of you are struggling just know you are not alone at all!

Ive gotten VERY exhausted seeing how the Christian culture has been treating women. It feels like if you don’t fit a certain mold on how a Christian woman should be, you’re seen as less. My question is this, if we’re all equal in God’s eyes, then why do some Christians continue to mistreat women? Where is God when Christian women or women in general get mistreated?

I hate being told that if I make a man stumble with my clothes it’s MY FAULT. Aren’t we not supposed to give into temptation? yes, people will look and maybe think lustful thoughts but I believe people need to have self control so they don’t end up hurting someone.

I don’t fit into the Christian Girl aesthetic you see online. I dress more alternative. Im quite modest in my dress as well. I don’t make alternative dress my identity, as I try my best to root my identity in Christ. But it also hurts seeing other Christians downplay my faith because of the colors I like to wear. If I was a man I feel like I wouldn’t be given this much grief.

I’ve been tempted to learn about spirituality/paganism but deep down I don’t feel right about that either. What am I as a woman supposed to do if my own culture tears me down?