u/deaddaisyldn

For those of you who have booked a babysitter for an infant, how did you go about it? Is there a general rule of minimum months of age? I see some sitters don't do a meeting before so you just have to trust them from the get go?

For context - we have a 4.5 month old who's only spent time with his grandma for a couple of hours, and his aunt in the evening. We can't rely on family regularly, so we'd love to build a relationship with a local babysitter (Kingston, Greater London) for ad hoc bookings. I'm just confused as to what is deemed an appropriate age start? Can you ever prepare? What if baby just cries throughout? Is it safer to put them to bed and have someone watch them that way? But what if baby wakes up and primary caregivers aren't there?

I was discussing this with my husband and even though he'd be equally as worried, he said millions of people leave their infants (that age and younger) at nurseries...so what's the difference, really? I am sure there is a difference between all day nursery and a few hours of care in the home environment, but again - help a FTM!

Whenever people (mainly childfree folk) ask me if I'm enjoying my mat leave, I'm always completely honest that I wouldn't describe it as enjoyable. I enjoy not being at work but that about sums it up.

I don't know if I'm failing my baby or failing myself?

I'm 38 going on 39, FTM, had a wonderful, very active pre-baby life but like most other parents my husband and I "felt like we had to have a baby". It was time! Of course I adore him, I enjoy spending time with him, I love how he smiles at me, but the maternity leave is maternity service. It's not what I expected...

Most days are spent at home or if we are out I'm mostly anxious, stressed, or feel alone without my husband. Weekends feel super short and like I barely have time for myself. If I book to do something on my own I feel guilty for leaving not only baby, but also husband, after a long work week of us barely seeing each other. He WFH most days but it's nowhere near the same dynamic we used to have.

1/3 of my mat leave has passed and I'm aware half of that was newborn trenches, but I keep wondering: will this get enjoyable?

I've started making mum friends but it still feels kind of lonely, and weird. Baby classes seem like a stupid thing to do with a volatile 4 month old, and pricey.

What made maternity leave good for you, if anything? Did you enjoy motherhood more once it ended?

Looking to hear from parents whose babies started sleeping through the night early on? By sleeping through the night I mean a long stretch without waking up to eat. Is it generally true that once a baby starts sleeping through the night and are considered a good sleeper, they don't really go back, as in, they may regress once in a while during illness, teething, etc but generally they can keep the same good sleep?

Let me start off by saying I know I've got a unicorn baby and I'm very grateful. Since he turned 3 months he stopped nursing at night and has been sleeping 7/8 night stretches without a fault. He's now 4 months old and some sleep regression has hit meaning we put him down for the night and he wakes up 2/3 times, needing a quick soothe before being transferred back to next-to-me cot...but either way, his last feed is around 9/9.30 pm and his next one is 6.30/7 am. He's EBF.

Problem is I get very very engorged after such a long stretch and I'm not keen on pumping in the middle of the night, as I'll lose sleep but also tell my body to make more milk. And a middle of the night feed isn't happening. When he's up I put him on each boob for about 5 mins which is almost always followed by him puking multiple times. A happy spit, but still frustrating, early in bed.

On weekends I managed to pump just before he wakes up, about 300 ml...which makes me think that's a ton of milk he's literally drowning on when I breastfeed him. I don't know when to stop him, I need both boobs drained so I offer both, but something tells me there is a better way to do this.

Has anyone managed to adapt their milk supply to baby's long stretches?

I've started thinking about weaning. Baby is now 4 months and realistically I'll probably start in July. I have too many questions but main ones are:

- advice on batch cooking vegetables and freezing - which and how much to last for how long? My understanding is baby only needs a couple of spoons a day? Can I freeze a lot and what do I freeze it in?

- do I give water with every solid food and how much?

- baby is EBF, will this hurt my milk supply?

Thank you!

This may sound stupid but beyond newborn stage I don't think I've actually seen my baby show strong hunger cues/rooting anymore. He's now 4 months, I feed him about 5/6 times a day and once early morning after his long night stretch. I'm talking 9 hours without a feed, 8 hours sleep. I've become pretty versed in his tired cues but what about hunger. I normally always feed at the 2.5/3 hour mark regardless. I know he can go longer but I want him to get enough calories in the day to sleep longer at night. Do people feed their babies every time they cry? His hand is constantly in his mouth anyway...just confused!

I've been using the Ergobaby embrace since newborn (well as soon as my son reached 3.5 kg). My husband and I use it pretty extensively and for me it's starting to add pressure on my upper back. Not a massive fan of the cross at the back and the pulling next to the neck. What carrier can I buy next that fits the following criteria:

- can be worn by myself and husband

- not cross at the back

- baby can face forward or be on the back

- feels lightweight but supportive especially the arm straps

- easy to put on

Would I eventually have to stop carrying my baby if he gets too heavy? He's just over 6 kg now.