sidenote: i am the whitest mf alive so idk where he got liberia from. ive been assumed to be wasian before so if it were that id sort of understand but liberian??
also theres nothing on my profile that hints at my job
m25, still live at home due to medical conditions (anorexia and controlled epilepsy through medication)
it’s 19:44 and he just came inside after 10-12 minutes I could hear him out there.
i swear im not insane. he has a lung condition which means he clears his lungs every 20-30 seconds, which ive learned to tune out somewhat but is still noticeable. my window faces onto the verandah. he’s been standing out there in the dark, and i can hear him. I don’t know why he’s watching me, I think he was trying to catch me doing something weird?
my parents have always been super strict/overprotective. i don’t do any drugs at home ever (never done any hard drugs, only tried smoking weed a couple of times at a friends but it didn’t really do much for me so I don’t bother, had mdma once in like 2021 but you get the idea, not an issue for me), i drink but not in excess, and i did just pour myself the remnants of a bottle of an almost empty bottle of soju left over from a night out with friends last night. (which im regretting because what if he saw me while watching me and yells at me) im not promiscuous or get up to any debauchery.
I closed my blinds (which I never do for some reason, only close my curtains) and he went inside and I heard him talking to my mum about something in the hallway but I couldn’t catch what. if he was out there (which im 99% certain he was), he would’ve seen me close the blinds which is out of character.
i know it seems dumb that im 25 (just turned a couple of days ago lol) but my parents have always been sticklers to the rules my entire life (no junk food (or even packaged food), no drinking even as an adult, god forbid drugs, no staying out late, no bad grades etc) and it’s kind of messed me up.
if I bring this up, ill definitely look insane and paranoid, if I don’t, im just going to spiral on this. so confused ugh. what do I do from here?
edit: I have a job, but it’s at a school and its school holidays. i do have the funds to move out, but ive been considering going part time with my job in order to pursue a masters degree part time in the field i already have a diploma in. and although im passively suicidal and don’t really care what happens to me, i know those around me would be worried that ill have a seizure when im alone or that ill relapse in my anorexia and start starving myself again (valid, im kind of relapsing lately but im taking my epilepsy medication and everything) explanation of my congenital brain condition if that’s relevant to this. yes, this is the first time this has happened
yesterday my dad & i got coffee (around brunch time) & a lady ordered one of those “build ur own egg toast” things & got almost all the addons (that cost like $4-8 each, like salmon, spinach, mushrooms, sun dried tomatoes, halloumi), and proceeded to eat one (1) slice of halloumi and left all the rest. what was her deal?
you could’ve had a $11 poached eggs and toast but you made it a $26 eggs and toast and slice of halloumi (adding halloumi as a side came with 4 slices for $8).
is it the ozempic? are people ordering food just to get insta pics? this lady was middle aged and didnt take photos, mind you, she didn't even offer any to her friend she was dining with. especially with cost of living being so high here in melbourne, it's crazy to me. this isn't even a rare sight to me, i can't stop noticing it. i hope the cafe staff at least get to much on the leftovers, it must produce so much food waste.
i'm a library technician in the senior school of a k-12 private school in VIC.
we have a bunch of year 12s sitting a makeup SAC (school assessed coursework) this afternoon after school. of course, they all want to borrow dictionaries. one student comes up with a thesaurus asking to borrow it. i double check with him that he definitely wants a thesaurus, and not a dictionary. his words to me: "what's a thesaurus?". this is an EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD, about to do an end of term test, for ENGLISH. at an AFFLUENT PRIVATE SCHOOL WITH AN INCREDIBLE ACADEMIC REPUTATION. what is happening. gotta laugh or you'll cry...
threw out my scales on wednesday 💪 (lol fucking embarrassing, buying them was the first thing I did after getting discharged from inpatient) and my parents aren’t home and I so badly want to check what I weigh. I’ve been allowing myself slightly more since then, since there’s no way for me to check the “damage” or “consequences” but rn I so badly want to see what’s happened to my weight. pls help me not crash out and do unhinged shit like doordash from bunnings i swear this disorder is an actual humiliation ritual.
also should i come clean to my family that I actually DID receive a meal plan at discharge and lied about that? i feel bad but at the same time it’s so scary
note: vivi has the “floats” walk style and has a robotic garble voice. the rest have greeting/walk styles that I think suit their personalities best. hyeju’s least favourite food in the world is yerba mate. chuu is best friends with my dad (elderly property lawyer from communist germany who doesn’t speak much english) and yeojin spends a lot of time with david attenborough
vegemite toast weetbix porridge and OJ, egg and salad sandwich with yoghurt & MIIIILK, salad apple and rice & beans. pretty ok all around. this isn’t including my 3 snacks. probably going to be put up a meal plan since im not gaining weight ugh 😣
week three inpatient for ana (third attempt at this program) and DXA results just came in and well. call me old man mcdeadtyped. negative 2.2, meaning osteopoenia bordering on osteoporosis.
no idea how im gonna tell my parents this (i know i legally dont have to but it'd probably be important for them to know as theyre my emergency contact for when i have epileptic seizures which.... would be dangerous with this bone density).
so yeah. even if you think its not going to affect you (been in quasi recovery for a year, active recovery for 4 weeks) because your safe foods include greek yoghurt or tofu or leafy greens....... youre not safe 🫠