u/dotdotdotidk

hi all!

i am a t1d living in america but in a relationship with someone who lives within the EU. i am currently preparing my graduate school applications and am seriously considering ways to leave the country. i know it may be ambitious, but i am really hoping that i can somehow turn my academic career into a life outside of the US.

are there other countries that are especially accommodating towards us? from my perspective, the US seems pretty easy to beat.

hi all!

i am 21 and diagnosed with bipolar, bpd, and ocd. i have noticed that despite being medicated, i react very strongly to even a few nights of sleeplessness.

my first ever manic episode pre-medication was strongly influenced (if not onset) by continually going to sleep late and waking up remarkably early, resulting in only around 3 hours of sleep each night. i didn’t know my symptoms then, and things snowballed from there.

now, despite being medicated, i notice that sleeplessness remains to be a major indicator for my wellbeing. for example, i went to a concert that caused me to stay out late and woke up extremely early the next morning for work. since that concert, sleep has been more difficult and i have noticed a significant uptick in my manic tendencies, including an increased susceptibility to paranoia and partial hallucinations.

i am wondering: how does sleep impact you guys and your presentation of symptoms? how do you manage a late night out?

Hey all!

I am studying lit and I want to preface by saying that what you suggest does not need to be a "good" book. I am a firm believer that slop is a wonderful form of literature and that is sort of what I'm craving here. This is a no-holds-barred really earnest request sort of scenario.

I need a book with insanely devastating character relationships. They can be happy or bittersweet, but the important part is that the characters in this book have an insane dynamic that racks your brain. The dynamic can be romantic, platonic, familial, or something else entirely. I'm actually not really looking for standard romances, but I will be open-minded.

Admittedly, I have read altogether too much fanfiction in my life and I get really into stories that center around friend groups. Marauders are kind of exemplary here, I like the weird complex bond thing. Another off-the-wall sort of one would be The Secret History by Donna Tartt (famously not a fanfiction). The character dynamics in that book are kind of awful and terrible but simultaneously fascinating and weirdly jealousy-inducing and it's really a wonderful read as a result.

In terms of similar TV shows, I can cite "Fleabag" or "Misfits" as good examples here. "Fleabag" is much more literary and has a wonderful plot structure as well as devastating relationships, but "Misfits" is obviously less of an elaborately constructed plot (from what i remember, it has been a minute). The key here is character dynamics above all else.

I sense that I will get a lot of fantasy recs (thank you Tolkein, big big fan of Frodo)... but since I am such a Tolkein fan I have trouble reading literally any other fantasy because I just really badly want it to be Tolkein instead. Although I will humor a fantasy rec, it is not really what I'm looking for here.

Also, bonus points if queerness is thrown in there somewhere! Even if it is just queerbait. Maybe especially if it is queerbait. I tend to find a lot of queer dynamics that are not intentionally queer to be really compelling, I think because they explore the complexity of what it means to be in love with someone without the pressure of defining it as romantic in the way that romantic pursuit tends to be founded on. Idk it feels really authentic to me

Thank you pals, I look forward to hearing from you.

Hi all! For context, I am a 21 y/o bipolar and BPD patient and am medicated with mood stabilizers.

I have noticed such a major life improvement thanks to my medication, and have had significant symptom reduction since I found the right dose. That being said, I have a sneaking suspicion that I am currently experiencing a breakthrough episode.

I have a few classic tells. I typically drive around aimlessly and spend money with much less caution than I'd typically exercise, but the worst part is how it impacts my thoughts and social interactions.

I think about EVERYTHING. My thoughts interweave and connect with themselves in an overwhelming/euphoric way, and I find myself exploring concepts over and over again. In combination with my BPD, I become compelled to tell everyone about my realizations (especially my FP). I feel more likely to make bold decisions, and my stance on people I care about starts to shift with intense rapidity.

(As a brief aside, it is interesting to note that the shifts I experience because of my bipolar feels very different from the shifts I experience in my BPD. Although they are inherently interconnected, I do feel that it is noteworthy to mention that there is a distinction between the baseline BPD symptoms I experience versus the BPD acting in tandem with a manic flare-up.)

On one hand, I am really thankful that my medication has been working enough for me to be mindful of these symptoms. On the other hand, I am wondering how to better handle these moments of hypomania.

I think I am getting better at harm reduction. Although I felt compelled to go out, I made myself spend money on a gift card instead of paying with my debit. Although I recorded a million voice memos, I found the strength to delete them and put my phone away. Although I could've driven around for hours, I took a short spin around the neighborhood and escorted myself home. One could argue that this is-- to some degree-- control.

The one thing that, is there a way to better control my thoughts? I get trapped in these loops when I get like this. All I want to do is think and repeat myself. I find it hard to distract myself because I am not as interested in anything else as I am interested in my own brain. I'd like to think of something else-- a TV show or a character that I am fond of. It is finals season, so God knows I should be thinking about my coursework... But it all comes back to me, my relationships, and the things I did the last time I was manic.

I guess the answer is to look into mental regulation tips beyond just physical regulation, but I am wondering if any of you have any pointers?